Can She Love Him Too?
by BrOkEn2NiTe
Summary: Detective Jessie Harper, a transfer from Texas, has her own demons to face. But life is only more complicated as Jessie is torn between two of the detectives she works with. EOC, FOC, lil OJ FINISHED
1. Chapter 1 Undercover

**Law and Order: Special Victims Unit**

_**Can She Love Him Too?**_

Disclaimer: I wish I owned this, but alas, I don't. The only character I own is Jessica Jade Harper.

_I'll have authors notes at the end of every chapter. _

Jessie was about to freak out! She looked around, frantically searching for a way out of the apartment. The place just had a S.W.A.T bust down the doors and she could _not_ get arrested. She'd just recently transferred to the NYPD's Special Victims Unit. Before she had a chance to meet any of the detectives she'd be working with from then on she had been dragged down to the Narcotics precinct where her new boss, Captain Don Cragen, had been waiting for her. Cragen asked her to go on an undercover operation for Narcotics before she began her new job with SVU. She was perfect for the job. She was known back in Texas for her undercover work. And also she didn't know anyone else's name, other than Cragen's, and no one else knew her, so there was almost no way to trace her back to being a cop. And so they kept it that way as she accepted the assignment. She'd _never_ turn down undercover work.

Her assignment was to get close to a local low life drug dealer named Marcos Cortez. He was also the leader of a little time Latin gang. The gang connection was also one of the main reasons Jessie had been chosen for the assignment.

Jessica Jade Harper (she used Jade Harper as her professional name but her friends called her Jessie) was the youngest person _ever_ to make detective in the Dallas Texas Police Department. At twenty-four she was one of the top detectives in the Gang Division, one of the most dangerous jobs to work as a cop. She'd shown the ability to connect well with all types of people by being kind and compassionate, proved to be a pretty good actress, but also proved to be a hard ass when needed. She could hold her own with the big boys in a brawl. Jessie had grown up in a country town where she'd perfected her red neck style of fighting. She was in excellent shape and could definitely take care of herself…or so she thought until the abduction. And here she was, now twenty-six, and in right nother pickle.

Jessie shook her head. No time to drift into memory bliss, or lack there of. She had to get out! Cragen had told her not to reveal her identity to _anyone_, not even to evade arrest, but she knew that if she was arrested her cover would be completely blown. There was so much cocaine in that apartment that they'd all be screwed and no way would any of them be up for bail. Jessie would be made for a cop if any of the other gang members came looking for them and saw that she had _not_ been put in jail.

The apartment only had three people in it including Jessie. All female. Two were Cortez's "girlfriends" and Jessie (Leah Williams as they knew her) was watching out for them. They were so strung out on cocaine that they probably didn't even realize the cops had just knocked the freaking doors down, but Jessie certainly had.

She knew she didn't have long. She took in her surroundings. She was in a room; the door locked with a dresser up against it, which she knew would only by her a few seconds, if that. She looked at the window and saw the fire escape! Score! Just as Jessie opened the window and crawled out onto the escape, the door burst open and the dresser flew across the room, and a group of cops came running in.

"Fin, the window!" A tall lanky man with glasses yelled at the man next to him. A somewhat tall well built black man that meant business. She started climbing quickly up the ladder toward the roof. She really didn't _wanna'_ fight with this Fin guy. She heard someone racing up after her on the fire escape.

"Stop!" He yelled. "Damn it girl! Just stop!" She glanced down at the guy, Fin as he was called, as he grabbed her by the ankle. She didn't want to kick him in the face and risk really hurting him by causing him to fall so she thrashed till she got loose.

After what seemed like hours of climbing she finally reached the huge roof! She clambered on top and looked around, trying to find a means of escape. She ran toward the front part of the building and looked down over the edge. Alls she saw was concrete sixteen stories down.

"Now I got you!" She heard Fin yell as he climbed over the ladder onto the top of the building. He had his gun pointed at her. They were about six feet apart. Jessie knew he wouldn't shoot her. They liked to keep the perp alive. So she did the only thing she could do… she made a mad dash for the back of the building where she knew there was another fire escape. Unfortunately, Jessie's clumsy nature caught up with her and she tripped over a rust pipe that just so happened to be lying around. She scraped her knee up pretty nicely. She lay on her back and stared at the sky. Lots of gray thunder clouds. I hope it rains, thought.

Jessie stood up and brushed off some dirt off the ratty sweat pants she'd been wearing and saw Fin just in time to see him kick the rusty pipe to the side. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"On your stomach." Fin growled. Jessie grinned at him. Despite his tough demeanor he had soft brown eyes that were milk chocolate in color.

"What the hell you smilin' at?" Fin snapped. "Get your ass on the ground!" Fin grabbed her shoulder and pushed her hard on her knees and she felt a sting from her new wound.

"Bastard." She mumbled.

"What was that?" Fin yanked her shoulder and she glared at him. "That's what I thought. You ain't nothin' but a dumb street whore!" Jessie tried to hold back the urge but couldn't. She spit in his face and then he angrily yanked her up off the ground.

She was pushed through the building to the street where Fin cuffed her and read her rights to her. Fin shoved her roughly in the back of a car with a chick and a _very_ handsome man. The woman was driving.

"So, what'd you do to Fin to piss him off?" The guy turned around.

"His ass was too slow to catch me." Jessie sat back in the seat. She didn't want to compromise her identity just yet so she had to seem like a tough street girl. She kept her New York accent thick in her voice. "He wouldn't of caught me if I hadn't of tripped." She motioned to her knee. The blood had seeped through the thin fabric from her sweat pants. The guy frowned.

"We'll clean that up for you down at the station." He said kindly. This guy had cool blue eyes and rustic features. Looked like he had a little Italian in him. He had an attitude about him but not like Fin's. Fin had a tainted attitude, which only came from years on the streets. Working with Gang Division Jessie had seen a lot of that and even had a bit of the same attitude rub off on her. No, this guy had something different. He was _controlled_.

"You were in the military." Jessie said to him. He looked almost stunned because it wasn't a question, but a statement. He rolled up his sleeve to show her a tattoo of the Marine Core emblem on his arm.

"You saw this?" He asked. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I have x-ray vision." She said sarcastically. "No, I'm just really good at reading people."

"Impressive." The woman driver spoke. Jessie caught a glimpse of her in the rear view mirror. A pretty lady with a hard square shaped face and short hair. She looked like a woman with a purpose. Someone Jessie could be cool with.

"So, what unit ya'll with? Narcotics?" The two cops exchanged glances.

"I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner Detective Benson. We're with Special Victims." Jessie choked on the breath she quickly inhaled.

"What the _hell_ was SVU doing there!" Stabler and Benson gave each other another look.

"We have reason to believe that Marcos Cortez murdered and raped a girl. We got a tip that some of his girls were staying at that apartment and that you guys might know something." It was Benson's turn to speak.

Jessie started to wrack her brains. She'd only been undercover for about two weeks and that hadn't given her enough time to become close to Cortez or his inner circle. She'd earned the role as freaking babysitter for his "girlfriends" but Jessie referred to them as the barely out of adolescent hoes. Tina and Cherry had to stay with Jessie at all times… and then Jessie remembered.

"Laura?" Jessie asked. "Was her name Laura?" The detectives stayed silent. The last thing said on the drive was Jessie telling the detectives, "I _need_ to talk to Cragen."

**Authors Note: Hi all! This is my first SVU fic. I am a HUGE fan of the show and I would appreciate r/r's of course. I have my own style of writing so everyone probably seems ooc but oh well. Also, I impose a challenge on you all. Jessie will indeed have a little trouble in the love department and I need the help of all of you who read this! I'm the writer and not even I am sure who she will end up with so as you keep reading this story I'd appreciate your input and opinions. Thanks a ton! Take it easy and Happy New Year everyone!-Ali**


	2. Chapter 2 No Place Like Home

**Chapter 2 "No Place Like Home"**

"She wont talk to any of us." Olivia Benson explained to Fin. "She keeps asking for the Captain." Fin sneered.

"You guys take a walk. I'll loosen her lips." Fin was still burning up from being spit on. That was just _nasty_!

"If anyone's gonna' try to tune this girl up a little it'll be Olivia." Elliot Stabler said sternly.

"I don't think Fin was gonna' tune her up. Just say some things that others might find a little questionable. You know how Fin gets." John Munch came to his partner's defense. Olivia and Elliot nodded in agreement. Fin's temper could get out of hand and he did tend to fly off the handle.

"Give it a shot. We'll go try to find Cragen." Olivia said.

"He's down in Narcotics for some reason." John informed them.

Fin walked into the interrogation room and saw the girl that had spit in his face leaning back in a chair, looking _too_ relaxed for his liking. He wanted to kick the chair out from under her _so bad_.

"Detective Tutuola." Fin snapped out, pointing to himself.

"Nice to see you again." Jessie attempted to be civil. He was someone she would be working with from then on, after all.

"What's your name?" He asked with an aggravated edge as he paced the floor in front of the table she was sitting at. She'd refused to give her name at the scene and was still refusing.

Jessie had been in many interrogation rooms but had never been the one being interrogated. She started to fidget. She pulled a chair out for Fin.

"Sit," She said. "You're making me nervous." Fin cocked an eyebrow and reluctantly sat. Jessie sighed. "I don't like people standing around me when I'm sitting." She explained and then mentally scolded herself. She didn't like giving people information on how to irritate her. She knew Fin would use that in his interrogation and probably hang it over her head in the future.

"Those two other girls you were found with were high as a kite." Fin said.

"Yeah, don't surprise me." Jessie rolled her eyes. Fn made a mental note that she rolled her eyes a lot.

"But you're not." He pointed out. Jessie grinned.

"I don't do drugs."

"Then why were you in that apartment?"

"Babysitting." Jessie replied.

"You being pimped out?" Fin asked pointedly. Jessie knew her face had just turned a zillion shades of red.

"Hell no!" She shouted angrily. "I'm not a whore!" She leaned back and crossed her arms. Fin made another mental note that she was sensitive to the subject of sex or prostitution.

"Look," Fin said with a sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. I was out of line." Jessie nodded.

"Sorry for spittin' on you." Jessie said. Fin cocked an eyebrow. Had he just heard what he _thought_ he heard?

"Yeah, that was nasty." Fin smirked. Come on, slip again, he thought.

"Yeah, I'm, er, sorry about that." Jessie laughed but a mischievous look passed over Fin's face.

"You're not from New York!" Jessie straightened in her chair.

"And what makes you say that?" Jessie felt her muscles tense up.

"Let's see," Fin stood up and slowly started walking around the table. "You're clean, which shows you aren't someone from the streets. You're sober and if you don't do drugs that means you really _aren't_ one of Cortez's people because all those people are moron drug addicts who depend on him because of their addictions, and," Fin was standing directly behind her. She felt his heat on the back of her neck and the hairs on her arms stood up. "You let your accent slip. You're Southern." Fin bent down and said into her ear, "Who are you _really_ working for?"

And right before Jessie had a chance to say another word the door opened and in stepped Captain Cragen!

"Thank God!" Jessie exclaimed and jumped out of her chair. She wanted to hug the man! Cragen stepped into the room; following behind him were Detectives Benson and Stabler, and the tall lanky man with glasses that she'd seen at the apartment.

"I'd like you all to meet our newest addition to SVU," Captain Cragen said and Jessie stood a little straighter. "This is Detective Jade Harper." Jessie extended her hand to Fin and smiled as wide as she could as she saw his shocked expression.

"Friends call me Jessie." She said, laying her Southern accent on as thickly as possible. Fin shook her hand, still in shock.

"This is Detective Olivia Benson," Cragen pointed to the woman that had driven her to the station. Jessie smiled and shook her hand.

"Finally another woman!" Olivia laughed, sounding almost grateful.

"I'm Munch. Detective John Munch." The tall lanky man took Jessie's hand and kissed the top of it. She laughed. He had calm down brown eyes, a weathered handsome face, and a kind smile. Jessie knew he and she would become fast friends. And then there was the handsome Detective Stabler.

"Elliot Stabler." He stuck out his hand and grinned. Jessie shook his hand and smiled somewhat shyly.

"And I believe you've met Fin Tutuola." Elliot pointed to Fin, who was still in a state of confusion and shock. Jessie winked at him and laughed.

"Oh _yeah_," She said. "We've met."

"So, if your name is Jade then why do your friends call you Jessie?" John asked while taking a seat in one of the chairs. Everyone except Jessie seemed to follow suit. The Captain, John, and Olivia sat in the three chairs in the room and Elliot and Fin sat on the table. John offered Jessie his seat but she politely told him she'd rather stand. She'd done nothing but sit for two weeks! She was sick of it!

"My full name is Jessica Jade Harper. All my life people called me Jessie or Jess." She explained. "When I started working Gang Division I started going by Jade just in case any pissed off perps wanted revenge. It would slow down an idiot for a few days anyway." Jessie giggled.

"You worked with _gang members_?" Fin asked in shock. Jessie grinned. "That's one of the most dangerous jobs out there!"

"Yeah well, I connect well with all sorts of people. I can get inside their heads and read them well." Jessie tapped herself on the head. Elliot remembered about how Jessie had guessed he was in the military. "I've helped a lot of teens get off the streets, even back in uniform. I sort of proved myself I guess. I wound up being one of the top and youngest detectives in the division." Jessie shrugged. The story was boring to her. "I know its dangerous but I enjoyed it. Alls I wanted was to help those kids. I could identify with them."

"How the hell do you identify with poor black gang members from the hood?" Fin asked, nearly laughing. She was some country kid, he thought. She has no idea what its like. Jessie smiled and leant against the wall.

"I didn't just work with black kids, Detective Tutuola," Jessie informed him. "I've worked with black, white, Asian, Hispanic. You name it. Stupidity isn't reserved for any specific race of people." She said. "I can put myself in just about anyone's place. I see it as being all in the mind. It just has to do with getting inside peoples heads."

"What do you know about being a black boy growin' up in gang and drug infested streets?" Fin asked.

"Just about as much as you know about what it's like to be a poor white girl in the country working on a farm, I suppose." Fin Tutuola sat back with nothing much else to say. Elliot cleared his throat.

"You said something about Laura?" He asked. Jessie felt a tinge of sadness as she filled the detectives in on all she knew about Laura.

Laura Sanchez was a twenty-year-old girl that Jessie had met the first day of going under cover. She was Marco's girlfriend (or one of them). Jessie gradually talked to her about changing her life a little. Laura had _wanted_ to make a better life for herself. One night, about a week into her being undercover, Marcos called the apartment they'd been staying in and asked for Laura but Jessie told him she'd left and Jessie couldn't stop her. She hadn't been back since.

"She had plans on leaving the city," Jessie said quietly. "I guess Marcos found her cause' I ain't heard from her."

They all went over the details of the case and filled Jessie in on all she'd missed. With all the evidence they had against Cortez he was _sure_ to get a needle in his arm.

"Am I in any danger from being undercover?" Jessie asked.

"Nah," Fin answered. "Cortez doesn't _exactly_ have the most street credibility out there and you weren't in love enough to meet anyone important. His gangs a bunch of pansy assess anyway. They wont be a threat."

"Good," Jessie said firmly. "Because _I_ want to be the one to arrest the son of a bitch."

"And you're gong to get your chance." A woman's voice came from the door. "From what I just read on the case I've got more than enough evidence to convict him." Said the woman. She was an average heighten blonde in a rather nice suit.

"A.D.A Casey Novak, meet Detective Jade Harper. Just transferred from Dallas Texas P.D." Casey stuck out her hand as Cragen introduced them.

"Friends call me Jessie." Jessie smiled and shook her hand firmly and Novak smiled back.

"Arrest him." Casey said and turned and left the room.

"Do I have time to clean up a bit?" Jessie said.

"Yep," Said Cragen. "We'll have to track this guy down. He seems to move a lot so it may take a while." Jessie nodded.

"I'll show you to the showers." Olivia offered kindly.

"Could you show me where my things are? I need to change." Jessie asked.

"Her stuffs in storage closet number forty-two." Cragen told Olivia.

"Thank you. It was nice meeting ya'll." Jessie said and followed Olivia down the hallway to her things and then to the showers.

"Where's she living Don?" Elliot asked the Captain. They'd all moved their little pow-wow to Cragen's office when Olivia returned.

"Well, she _doesn't_ have a place." Cragen said, glancing around the room.

"Where's she gonna' stay?" Fin asked.

"I don't really know." Cragen answered honestly.

"I'd offer her to stay with me but my place is too small as it is." Olivia said regretfully. She'd wanted a new place for a long time on account of the limited space in her apartment.

"She told me before she left to go undercover that as long as this place had somewhere she could sleep, showers, and a place to store her stuff that she'd just as soon stay here." Cragen told them.

"You can't let her do that! She'd be so uncomfortable!" John protested. "Plus, its creepy in here at night."

"She could stay at my house?" Elliot offered. Everyone turned to look at him. Cragen raised an eyebrow. "She'd have her own room and bathroom." Elliot tried. Since Elliot and Kathy's divorce a year before his house had seemed much too big. The only time it felt like a home was when his kids would visit him. It would be nice to have life in the place.

"No," A stern voice came from the door. They all turned and were shocked from what they saw. Jessie stood there, her hair clean and straight. Elliot noticed its color now that it was down and not in a ponytail. It was a dark brown with reddish and blonde highlights. She'd put on a bit of makeup that made her eyes stand out. Her eyes were a mixture of blue, green, and gray. Elliot couldn't put his finger on it. And Elliot wasn't the _only_ one impressed.

Fin was a bit taken aback also. She was beautiful, Fin decided, but not in a classic way. She had something different. She had a country vibe to her, which gave her uniqueness. He knew she was the type of person who felt like she could face anything.

"Where's the rodeo?" John asked with a chuckle. Jessie looked down at her black Justin Roper boots, Cruel Girls, and Ariat belt. Jessie laughed. Back in Texas that would have been considered being very nicely dressed.

"I'm sorry," She said. "Apparently our dress codes are a bit different. In Dallas you had to at least dress in nice jeans." She glanced at what her co-workers were wearing. "I guess we were more casual. I don't have any dressy clothes like that." Jessie pointed at Olivia's dress pants. "And I can't run in shoes like that." Pointing at Olivia's black loafers. "You _must_ be talented." Jessie added. Olivia laughed.

"It's fine," Cragen said. "Don't think about it at all. You've got other things to worry about."

"Yeah, like finding a place to sleep." Fin said.

"Here will be fine till I can find an apartment." Jessie said sternly.

"There's no way you're going to find a decent apartment for an affordable price this time of year." John reasoned. It was early in the month of November and Jessie knew that prices would sky rocket because of Christmas.

"I'll be fine here." Jessie said.

"I'm afraid your first order under my command is to stay with Elliot here until at least after the New Year." Jessie glared at the Captain playfully but then broke into a friendly grin. These people were already making her feel at home in such a strange, huge, new place.

"Ya'll are really close, aren't ya'll?" Jessie asked.

"Like family," John said, walking over to her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "And I have a feeling you're going to fit right in." Jessie grinned and clicked her heals and said,

"There's no place like home!"

**Authors Note: okay, its going to be a bit of a love triangle! I really need help on who Jessie should end up with!**


	3. Chapter 3 Gentle Eyes

**Chapter 3 "Gentle Eyes"**

"This will be your desk." Captain Cragen walked Jessie into the front part of the precinct. A fairly plain desk with a simple desktop lamp and chair was in the middle of two rather cluttered desks.

"You'll be between Fin and John." He said sympathetically. "We have to keep them separated."

"They can't be _that_ bad." Jessie said with a spurt of optimism. Just then Fin and John burst through the doors, yelling, and carrying coffee. John carrying one cup and Fin carrying two.

"Just shut up Munchkin!" Fin said as he sat at his desk.

"I'm telling you! It's a conspiracy! Otherwise the curse would _not_ have been broken and Boston wouldn't have won!" John exclaimed, rattling on about government cover up. Jessie cast Cragen a questioning look.

"Munch here is our resident paranoid conspiracy theorist." Cragen explained. Jessie nodded, turning to her desk and gulped. "Told you so." He said to her. "You two make her feel at home." And with that he went back to his office… laughing.

"I rooted for Boston." Jessie said carefully to John.

"_Traitor_!" He exclaimed and shook his index finger at her. Jessie laughed.

"No," She pointed at herself. "Southern! I was neutral between Boston and New York."

"Point taken." John nodded. He then sat and decided tackle some paper work. John got the feeling that Fin wanted to talk to Jessie. He smiled to himself. Fin and Elliot were both ogling Jessie back in Cragen's office and John knew that if Fin wanted a shot with Jessie that he had better hurry because Elliot had home court advantage…_literally_.

Jessie sat down at her empty desk and suddenly became very home sick. She remembered back to the days when her desk had been cluttered and full of over due paperwork like Fin and John's. She couldn't wait to go through the many boxes in storage and give her desk a little personality. Then Jessie was struck by a question.

"Who's my partner?" She didn't even know she'd said it out loud.

"All of us." Fin rolled his chair over to her desk and placed a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Wow, thanks!" She said appreciatively. He nodded as she took a big drink and sighed as the warm liquid went down her throat. "How are you all my partner?" She asked Fin. He chuckled.

"You're sort of a floater. You'll go where you're needed." Jessie nodded in understanding. She shifted her weight and the fabric of her jeans rubbed the bandage on her knee and she rubbed the injury. It didn't hurt, it was just the bandage was _very_ annoying.

"Did I hurt you?" Fin asked quietly. Jessie looked at him in surprise. His voice was surprisingly soft, _a lot_ different from the hard rough sound he usually spoke with.

"Me? _No_! You saw me trip." Jessie wanted to easy his concern.

"I mean when I pushed you down." He said.

"Oh," Jessie shrugged. "No big deal. You can make it up to me somehow." She smirked. He didn't look convinced. "Really, don't worry about it. You were doing your job." Jessie reached out and touched Fin's arms lightly. "I'd of done the same if not worse." She gave him arm a quick squeeze before pulling back her hand. Jessie smiled at Fin and rose from her chair and walked over to Elliot's desk to speak with him.

Fin shook his head and wheeled himself over to John's desk as he watched Jessie walk over to Elliot and start talking to him. He looked up to find his partner staring at him from over the top of his glasses. That look always made Fin feel like a little boy who was about to be punished.

"What now old man?" Fin asked.

"You've got it bad my friend." John said in a hushed tone. Fin leaned back in his chair.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked, trying to play it off like he really didn't know. He knew his…interest in Jessie hadn't gone unnoticed by his perceptive partner.

"She is cute, I'll give you that." John smiled. "And she's got this mysterious quality about her. She must blend well with people if Cortez's people didn't catch on to her. She's got to be an amazing actress because people like that can just about smell a cop." He pointed out.

"She's intelligent too." Fin said in a far off voice. "_And_ funny." He added.

"Admit it!" John said a little louder than intended. "You gonna' make a play for her?" He said a little more quietly.

"You're out of your damn mind you bony ass idiot." Fin said and began to wheel himself back to his mound of paperwork. John turned back to his own and said to himself, "I may be out of my mind _but_ this is one theory I am right about."

"Hey," Jessie said to Elliot as she approached his desk.

"Hey yourself," He smiled. Nice smile, Jessie decided. "Wow, Don sat you between those two?" Elliot chuckled. Jessie turned to see John being hit in the head by a balled up piece of paper. Jessie laughed.

"I don't mind. They'll keep me entertained!" She said, taking a sip of the coffee Fin had brought her. That was awful thoughtful, she thought. Speaking of thoughtful… "Thank you for letting me crash at your place." Jessie said gratefully. "How much will I owe you for rent?" She asked.

"Just contribute to the bills and we're square." He said and leaned back in his chair and Jessie sat on the edge of his desk. She felt her hand brush against something cold and hard and she looked down. It was a frame with a photo of Elliot and four kids in it!

"_Whoa_," Jessie said, nearly hopping off the desk. "All four of these yours?" She asked nervously. She looked at his left hand and didn't see a ring but men didn't always wear wedding rings. He chuckled and scooted his chair close to her so that their knees were touching. He leaned over slowly across her and picked up the frame.

"Yep, all four." He laughed.

"Quite a tribe you've got going there!" Jessie glanced down at the picture, her eyes going a little wider. She loved kids, they weren't what was worrying her, but she wasn't sure how his _wife_ was going to take her occupying the guest room! Elliot sensed her tension and quickly cleared things up.

"I've been divorced for a little over a year now." He explained quickly. "They come to visit when I'm not working… but that isn't often enough."

Jessie relaxed a bit. Still…four kids _and_ divorced? How old was he? He didn't look over thirty-five! Then Jessie mentally slapped herself. She shouldn't care whether he was married, not married, old, or young. _Did_ she care? _Oh crap_…

"Maureen's my oldest. She turned nineteen a few months back." He pointed out each of his kids. Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth, and Dicky. Elizabeth and Dicky were twins. Lord, Jessie thought. Very brave man!

"It must be fun though." Jessie said smiling.

"Yeah, till report cards and sex talks come around." He laughed. Jessie cringed.

"Sex talks equal awkwardness times a zillion." Elliot nodded violently.

"Mind if I ask how old you are?" Jessie asked. "You don't look old enough to have four kids, one being nineteen!" Elliot laughed.

"Well thanks! I'm forty." He smiled. "How about you? You don't look old enough to be a detective." She shot him a dirty look. Jessie didn't like people poking fun at her for her age.

"I'm twenty-six." She said as calmly as possible, sipping her coffee. Elliot nodded.

"Why'd you transfer to New York?" Jessie felt all of her muscles tighten and she gripped her cup of coffee as tightly as possible. She rose slowly from Elliot's desk. Elliot looked up at her with a look of concern and curiosity on his face. She gave him a fake and _much_ practiced smile.

"That's a story for another day." She said mysteriously, grinned, and walked nervously to Captain Cragen's office.

When Elliot saw Jessie walk into Cragen's office he immediately wheeled his chair over to his partner's desk.

"Olivia, listen to this…" He filled her in on Jessie's evasiveness about why she had transferred.

"Hmm… time for a huddle." She and Elliot rose from their chairs and walked over to Fin and John.

"What's up?" Fin asked, looking up from his paperwork. John rolled his chair over to Fin's desk where the group crowded around. Elliot told them what he'd told Olivia.

"It is odd," John said. "One doesn't usually uproot their whole lives and move across the country for a change of scenery." Fin rolled his eyes.

"You can't honestly tell me you're suspicious about Jessie?" He asked his partner. John shrugged.

"Just saying it's weird." John said in his defense.

"I don't get a bad vibe from her." Elliot said. He was famous for his gut feelings.

"It's probably just some personal reasons." Olivia offered.

"Yeah, and that means _none_ of us are gonna' push her to talk about it. She will when she feels comfortable with us." Fin said sternly. He didn't like the air of suspicious around Jessie. She seemed like a decent girl. More than decent… Fin looked up to see his three co-workers staring at him. He cleared his throat. "Understand me?" They all nodded.

"Yes sir!" Elliot saluted him and the group dispersed to their own desks. Elliot felt a little guilty for thinking ill of Jessie's motives for being there. He just couldn't help it, seeing as the way she'd reacted to his question. He was a detective after all! But Fin was right. They'd just have to wait and see if she talked.

Jessie heard Cragen's voice tell her to come in and she nervously opened the door. She stepped through the door and smiled as she saw Cragen's head buried in a pile of paperwork.

"If you're busy I can come back…" He cut her off.

"Nope, just waiting for a call to tell me where Cortez is. I was about to ask you in here anyway. Please, sit." Jessie gulped and sat down. "Everything okay?" The Captain asked her.

"You know why I'm here in New York, don't you?" Jessie asked quietly. Cragen sighed heavily and sat back in his chair.

"Yes," He looked Jessie in the eyes. "It was in your file." Jessie nodded.

"I'll tell the others…_eventually_. In my own time." Jessie said her voice harder. She had to collect herself. She knew from the two years that she'd been in the Gang Division that emotion in this game could get you killed. She knew that the Special Victims Unit was considerably less dangerous than her previous position but still… she was forever on her guard.

Don studied Jessie's cool demeanor and saw right through it. She _was_ an amazing actress, he decided, but she can't pretend pain away. He rose from his seat and walked around his desk and sat in the chair next to Jessie.

"Why did you choose this unit?" He asked her point blank. "You could had gone anywhere with your record. Why here?" Jessie sighed. It was true. She'd gotten offers from just about everywhere but she'd chosen New York's sex crimes.

"I came here because it was far away from Texas. There's a lot of crime here and I could do a lot of good." She sighed heavily and rubbed her temples. "And I want to help people that have gone through anything close to what I have." Cragen nodded in understanding.

"Captain… when you were twenty-six did you have a two body count to your name?" Cragen shook his head sadly. Jessie stood up.

"Jessie, here is your badge and gun." Jessie smiled slightly as she ran her fingers over the badge, _her_ badge, which Cragen had just handed her. She picked up her gun and got the feel of it and then put it back in its holster.

"Thanks Captain!" She said with a grin. "I felt naked without a badge." Cragen laughed.

"In casual conversation please call me Don." Jessie smiled and began to walk out the door. "And Jessie," She turned her head back to Cragen. "If you ever need to talk…" Don shuffled his feet a bit awkwardly.

"Thank you Don. It means a lot." She gave him one last smile as she walked out of his office.

Jessie went back to her empty desk and put her gun strap on and then put on her blue jean jacket that that she'd left on the back of her chair. She put her badge in the inside pocket of her jacket, right where her old badge had been.

"Got your badge?" Fin asked. Jessie nodded.

"Oh yes, the symbol of our devotion to this fine city!" John said in a singsong voice, making Jessie laugh. Fin rolled his eyes. And then the door to Cragen's office burst open.

"We've got Cortez's address," Cragen handed the piece of paper to Jessie. Everyone had crowded around her desk in the blink of an eye.

"You and Fin go pick him up." She nodded briskly and Fin grabbed his black leather jacket and the two detectives were off.

As they were walking down toward the parking garage Jessie took a good hard look at Fin Tutuola. He was tall and nicely built, his hair slicked back into a nice ponytail, and despite his hard features there was _something_ about his eyes that seemed almost gentle. He was dressed in all black, and to most, would probably look very intimidating, but he didn't intimidate her in the least. Aside from the fact that Jessie didn't scare easily, and she also looked very intimidating holding again herself, she was rather curious about him. Jessie had always prided herself in being naturally curious. That's part of the reason she'd always wanted to be a cop.

Jessie's attention did _not_ go un-noticed. As they reached the car Fin got behind the wheel and fired up the engine he said, "So, what were you lookin' so hard at me for?" Fin had expected her to blush but she didn't.

"It was the first time I got to _really_ look at you." She said honestly as if it were no big deal.

"And what did you see?" He asked, never taking his eyes off the road. Jessie sat back and looked at him once more. He squirmed a little under her stare. Fin looked like a man who had seen a lot and been through a lot. He was street smart and quick witted and not to mention dripping with attitude. At first glance his face said "Don't jack with me or I'll break your face," but his eyes told a different story.

"I see someone who has fooled _lots_ of people into thinking he's this tough intimidating guy but you don't fool me." Fin laughed.

"You got me! What gave me away?"

"Your eyes." Jessie replied.

"Why my eyes?" Fin asked surprised.

"You've got a lot of gentleness inside. You just need someone to pull it out of you." Jessie said, turning her attention to the scenery outside of the passenger window. Maybe it'll be you, Fin thought.

**Authors Note: Last chapter I'm uploading till I get some more reviews lol. And as you can see the plot thickens! Leave me some love folks!-Ali**


	4. Chapter 4 The Dating Game

**Chapter 4 "The Dating Game"**

"Open up! This is the police!" Fin yelled as he pounded on the door of Cortez's apartment, warrant for his arrest firmly in his hand. He stopped pounding and looked at Jessie, who nodded, and they both counted to three. After three, before Fin could even blink, Jessie kicked the door in. Fin was surprised at Jessie's strength.

Fin had his gun out but noticed Jessie didn't. He figured working in the gang division made her quick at the draw.

They walked into the living room to find a very distraught looking Marcos Cortez sitting on the couch.

"Hey! You can't do that!" He screamed and then took a hard look at Jessie. "Leah? You were a cop! You bitch!" Cortez snarled angrily, jumped off the couch, and started toward her. Before Fin could even move Jessie had pulled her gun and was aiming at Cortez's face with her right hand, her left hand lazily by her side. Jessie was so close to Cortez that he was sure to feel the cool metal on the tip of his nose.

"_Blink_," Jessie dared him. "Just give me a reason to pull this trigger." She said in a disturbingly calm voice. Cortez gulped and took a careful step backward. Fin cuffed him and Jessie read him his rights almost cheerfully.

Back at the station Fin and Jessie had let Elliot have a crack at Cortez in the interrogation room while they relaxed at their desks.

"I was impressed with you today. You did a good job." Fin said to Jessie. "A little creepy but good." He chuckled. Jessie had her feet propped up on her desk and was leaning back in her chair. They'd already finished their reports.

"Thanks," She said tiredly.

Fin looked at his watch and saw that it was about seven-thirty at night.

"Hey Harper, you wanna grab some chow?" Fin asked. Jessie smiled and sluggishly slung her feet off her desk.

"Sure, who could resist that charm?" She asked sarcastically.

"Odafin Tutuola! I'm shocked that you wouldn't ask your own sweet loving partner if he were hungry!" John said woundedly from his desk. Jessie cocked an eyebrow.

"Odafin?" She asked and smiled sweetly. Fin shrugged.

"You hungry?" He asked John.

"Nah, you two kids have fun." John winked at Jessie who just laughed and rolled her eyes. She was already fond of John and his sense of humor.

Fin walked to Cragen's office and cleared it when him that he and Jessie were gonna' go grab diner and asked if he wanted anything. Don politely declined and gave them the go ahead to go grab something to eat. Fin walked back to Jessie, but not without slapping John on the back of the head as he walked by.

"_Hey_!" John cried as he leapt from his seat. Fin quickly grabbed his coat and Jessie's hand.

"Run! Old angry man on the loose!" He laughed and tugged Jessie through the door as a paper ball whizzed by his head.

Jessie and Fin laughed hysterically in the elevator. Fin hadn't even noticed that he hadn't let go of her hand till they both glanced down awkwardly. Laughing nervously, he dropped her hand, and the elevator doors opened and let them out into the lobby.

"I know a burger joint down the block if that's cool with you. I'm buying." Fin said.

"You don't have to…" Fin waved her off.

"I owe you, remember?" Jessie smirked.

"This is true." She said. She took Fin's arm that he offered and soon relaxed into their stride as they stepped out onto the busy sidewalk.

"Okay, lead me to the food _Odafin_!" She giggled and got a dark look from Fin. He was trying really hard not to laugh.

"Oh my gosh!" Jessie exclaimed. "This is the best burger I've had in a _long_ time!" She said in between bites.

"Yeah, they're okay." Fin laughed. He'd never seen someone so excited about a burger before. "I'm glad you like it." He said, taking a big bite out of his own. They _are_ good burgers, he thought.

"I haven't eaten all day." Jessie sighed.

"Well that's not healthy." Fin said, glancing at his watch.

"Yeah well, I'll live." Jessie mumbled, taking a drink of her soda. Jessie looked out of the window and watched the people pass by.

"Gosh," She said in amazement. "This place is freaking _huge_!" Fin gave an amused chuckle.

"You're telling me." He said.

"It's hard for me to fathom the fact that I now live in a city." Jessie said airily.

"Didn't you live in Dallas?" Fin asked curiously.

"Hell no! I just worked there." Jessie explained. "I lived in a small country hick town my whole life!" She boasted proudly.

"That makes sense. You don't strike me as a city girl." Fin leaned back in the booth.

"Is that a bad thing?" Jessie asked, tilting her head to the side a little. She fiddled with her straw and smiled slightly. She wasn't sure why she was flirting but she just couldn't help herself. Fin leaned in a little closer.

"Not at all." He said, his voice deep and low. "I kinda like it."

Fin and Jessie locked eyes for a moment. Jessie's head filled with so many thoughts that she couldn't concentrate on just one. Time just seemed to stop… till a loud clap of thunder brought them both back to reality.

"Damn!" Fin said, motioning for the waitress and asking for two doggy bags. "Sorry, but unless you wanna get soaked, we better go." Jessie nodded as they quickly stuffed the doggy bag with their burgers, fries, and ketchup packets. Fin paid and covered the tip (despite Jessie's cry of protest) and they headed back to the police department.

"So, you think she's cute?" Olivia asked Elliot with a wink.

Elliot interrogated Cortez for about a half hour before he lawyered up. Elliot was glad he didn't confess. He deserved an execution.

"Yeah, she's pretty." Elliot replied, trying to shrug Olivia off. In truth, Elliot thought Jessie was very pretty and rather intriguing. "Where is she anyway?" Elliot looked up and noticed she wasn't at her desk.

"Fin took her out to get some dinner." John said to Elliot from his desk, never taking his eyes off his paperwork. Elliot nodded and kerplunked himself down in his chair. Olivia pulled her chair around to Elliot's desk, put her elbows down, her face in her hands, and just looked at him.

"What!" He exclaimed, rustling some papers and stacking them.

"_Please_! Who do you think you're foolin?" Olivia asked. "So, seeing as you're gonna be house mates, you gonna try to snag a date?"

"Fin beat me to it." Elliot said dejectedly.

"He did it cause he felt bad for being a jerk to her today!" Olivia reasoned. "Look, you haven't dated since the divorce and it's about damn time to start!"

"Cragen wouldn't like it. He'd flip about inner office dating!" Elliot said, trying to get Olivia to just shut up.

"He wont as long as it doesn't interfere with work and you know it!" Olivia argued. Elliot threw up his hands.

"Drop it okay!" He snapped. "She just started working here for Christ's sake!" He hollered. This caused John to give them a look over his glasses.

"Fine, give her time to settle in, but after that give it a try." Olivia persisted. John listened intently.

"Maybe, but I ain't making no promises. Okay, Liv?" Olivia smiled in triumph. Elliot got up from his desk and, feeling aggravated, walked to the bathroom.

"Liv, what do you think you're doing?" John asked. Olivia raised an eyebrow and rolled her chair over to John's desk.

"Trying to help out my partner." She replied.

"Well, cut it out." John looked at her as if she was some meddling child, and at the moment, to him, she was.

"And why should I?" Olivia crossed her arms and glared at him.

"You know good and well Fin's interested." John said.

"Well, he better get on the ball." Olivia snapped.

"I'll bet you a months pay that Fin and Jessie will end up together before she's been here a full six months!" John said smiling. Olivia's eyes glistened mischievously.

"I'll take that bet!" Olivia grabbed a piece of paper and wrote out a quick contract.

"Sign." Olivia handed John the pen. John read over the conditions and sighed at the bottom next to Olivia's signature, confident in his partner.

"Done," John said. "At the end of a six month period, whoever's partner is currently dating her, will win a months pay!" Olivia smirked.

"Let the games begin!"

**Authors Note: Ok so I'm bored and can't sleep so I decided to upload another chappy lol. Enjoy!**


	5. Chapter 5 Comfort In Queens

**Chapter 5 "Comfort In Queens"**

When Fin and Jessie returned to the SVU precinct they were soaked to the bone. They walked through the door and to their desks, Jessie giggling, while everyone stared at them.

"At least our food didn't get wet." Jessie announced laughing. She pulled their bag of food out from under her jacket. "I don't care how wet _I_ got as long as my foods safe and sound." Fin laughed and shook his head.

"I'll put this in the microwave." He said, taking the bag from Jessie.

She took her jacket off and plopped heavily down into her chair. A few minutes later Fin brought their food, pulled up a chair next to Jessie, and they finished their meal together. Just as Fin sat down Elliot sauntered over and snatched a fry off Jessie's paper plate that Fin had also brought.

"That's _theft_ Stabler." Jessie scowled at him. He just laughed. She fits right in, he thought.

"Since tomorrows a Sunday, do you wanna come and get your boxes out of storage and take them to my place then?" He asked her, chewing on his fry. Jessie shook her head at the lack of manners. Back home if Jessie had spoken with her mouth full her momma would of given her a good whack in the head with a wooden spoon.

"Yeah, if that's okay with you." Jessie said after she swallowed a bite of sinfully good burger.

"Perfectly fine with me." Elliot smiled.

"Okay, cool. Before we leave just let me go to the storage closet and grab what I'll need for tomorrow." Elliot nodded and started to walk back to his desk.

"Hey Stabler," Jessie called. Elliot looked over his shoulder. "It isn't _polite_ to talk with your mouth full and you've got French fry stuck between your two front teeth." She said, taking another bite of burger.

Elliot glared at her and walked on to his desk, self consciously trying to get the fry out of his teeth. Jessie figured it would take him a good ten minutes before he figured out she'd been joking.

Jessie nearly laughed as Elliot tried to strut a little. He's definitely a confident guy, Jessie decided. She also decided she needed to break down his ego just a bit. And while Jessie watched Elliot, Fin watched Jessie. He sighed and took an aggressive bite out of his remaining burger. Jessie turned her attention back to Fin.

"So, I _assume_ you aren't married?" Jessie asked before she took the last bite of her burger, disappointment washing over her.

"Nope," He replied. She waited for him to say something else but he didn't try to elaborate.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Jessie eyes narrowed. She didn't like being flirted with by unavailable men and he'd _definitely_ been flirting with her back at the restaurant.

"I'm in-between girlfriends right at the moment." Fin smirked. Jessie glared. "In other words, no, I'm single." He added as he finished his burger. Then they both dug into the remaining fries.

"I have a son." Fin divulged. Then he wanted to slap himself. Fin was a private man and was usually good at remaining tight-lipped about his personal life and Ken, his son, fell under that category.

"Oh! How old?" Jessie asked excitedly.

"Nineteen. His names Ken."

"Is he a lot like you?" Jessie asked, plunging a fry mercilessly into some ketchup as if trying to drown it. She loved ketchup. Fin thought for a moment and then sighed sadly.

"I honestly have no clue." Jessie raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't _exactly_ there for him when he was a kid. We're just now getting to a place where we speak somewhat regularly." Jessie nodded slowly.

She had to pick and choose her words carefully now. Jessie had strong opinions and one of the things she felt strongly opinionated about were kids whose fathers and mothers abandoned them. She was lucky enough to have a wonderful father _and_ mother in the picture but she'd seen too many kids who hadn't grown up with the same luxury. Her philosophy was if you don't want kids don't have them. She decided not to say anything at all.

Fin sensed her apprehension. In the Gang Division he was sure she saw a lot of messed up kids who blamed all their troubles on not having a parental figure and knew she'd have a problem with what he'd just told her. Hell, he thought, most people have a problem with what I just told her, including me.

"Look," Fin pulled his chair a little closer to hers. "I was a different person back then…" He began but Jessie interrupted.

"You don't have to justify yourself to me." She snapped. She had very little patience for people who tried to justify actions that they just plain knew were wrong.

"You think I'm trying to justify why I'm a lousy dad?" Fin felt his temper begin to rise.

"Sounds like it to me." Jessie glared at him. She's good at that glare, he thought. Her eyes seemed to get a shadow of anger over them and her eyes turned an almost aqua green color.

"I was a punk ass jerk when Ken was born okay?" Fin tried not to yell. He wanted this conversation to stay between him and Jessie. "I cared more about my damn job then I did my family and I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't. I don't make excuses for myself and I certainly ain't trying to justify myself for being a bastard!" Fin's voice remained level and low. Jessie was all but stunned.

"I have been here for _a day_!" Jessie shook her head. "Why the hell did you tell me, of all people, the new chick you thought was a _hooker_, all of that?" Jessie was exasperated. Today, she thought, has been a very unusual day.

Fin sat back in his chair and wondered the exact same thing. What made him tell her about his son? What made him _want_ to tell her more? Fin wasn't exactly what you would call a romantic and he certainly didn't count on love just walking right through his doors, but there was something about this woman. Something not even he, the King of Denial, could shake. Fin looked in her eyes. They were softer now. Back to a shade of blue, or green, or gray… back to a color that couldn't exactly be named. Just like her, he thought. Someone that can't be named or explained.

"I guess I did need to justify something. Not for who I was then but for who I am now." Fin reached out and gently touched her hand. "I'm not that person anymore. I want you to get to know the man I've become." He said with so much sincerity that, if Jessie were a typical emotional female, it would have broken her heart.

Instead, Jessie's gaze shamefully hit the floor. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She definitely wouldn't mind getting to know Odafin Tutuola but the question was… did she want him to get to know her? Was she ready to open up?

She looked up at him and smiled. She decided to cross that bridge when they came to it. _If_ they came to it, she scolded herself.

"Then lets start with the basics." Jessie suggested. Fin smiled, pulled his hand back, and propped his head up with his elbow on her desk. "How old are you?"

"Thirty-seven." Fin answered. "And you?"

"Twenty-six."

"I was eleven when you were born." Fin pointed out. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"So, math was your favorite subject growing up?"

Jessie and Fin continued their conversation for about another hour. She learned that Fin had grown up in Harlem and hung out with the wrong crowd, more or less. He straightened up his life after seeing a good friend shot execution style by a drug dealer.

"That's when I decided to be a cop." He said.

Fin told her he'd worked with Narcotics for six years before joining SVU.

"I don't know anything other than Gang Division," Jessie admitted to Fin. "This is gonna take some getting used to." Fin smiled at her and Jessie just couldn't help but smiling back.

John and Olivia covertly watched Jessie and Fin, each trying to figure out how to win the bet. John knew Olivia could see just as plainly as he could what was unfolding right in front of them. Fin and Jessie were _definitely_ attracted to one another. They found one another attractive but they seemed to connect on an intellectual level as well. They conversed easily.

John glanced over at Olivia, who had quite a sour look on her face, and smiled.

"Ready to give up on our bet already?" John teased. Olivia shot him a dirty look.

"Not a chance." She growled. "Elliot will put all thoughts of Fin out of her head once he gets her home." Olivia smiled a mock smile.

John pulled a face and walked back to his desk just as Captain Cragen walked out of his office.

"Alright folks, its almost Nine so why don't we all head out?" Don said, clapping his hands. He was eager to get home. "I want you all to get a good day of rest tomorrow. Especially you Jessie. You've earned it. See you all bright and early Monday morning!" He smiled as he grabbed his coat and hat off the rack and headed out the door.

"Well, I'm out of here." John said. "Or not, if Fin's not ready." Fin rolled his eyes and threw his and Jessie's trash away.

"I ought to make your bony ass walk." Fin quipped as he put on his coat.

"Jessie, you made this day a pleasure." John kissed the top of her hand like he had earlier that day. Jessie blushed and hugged him.

"Yeah, today was a little more interesting than usual." Fin grinned and put a friendly hand on her shoulder. "Welcome to SVU." He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and jogged to catch up with John, who was now entering the elevator, mumbling something about slow young people and how he wasn't going to hold the elevator for him.

Jessie stretched her arms out, put on her jacket, and then headed down the hallway toward the storage closet.

She walked into the small dusty room that was filled with boxes of all her belongings. Some were knickknacks, C D's, clothes, jewelry, and everything else from her life back in Texas.

She sat down on a box full of something or other (from the soreness of her bottom it felt like pots and pans) and started looking through a box, gathering clothes, a duffel bag, and her tennis shoes.

Just as she'd finished packing the duffel bag she began to shut the top of a box when she noticed an old photograph that had gotten mixed in with her shoes. It was a picture of Jessie as a baby of maybe three and her parents. Sadness filled her body as she gazed down at the picture.

"Cute kid." Jessie jumped in surprise and turned to see Elliot standing over her. Jessie stood up and laughed nervously. Either Elliot was very sneaky or Jessie had been in a serious trance because others had found it almost impossible to sneak up on Detective Jessica Jade Harper.

"Yeah, I _was_ a cute kid, wasn't I?" Jessie smirked. Elliot picked up Jessie's bag and they walked out of the storage closet and went down to the parking garage. Elliot noticed that Jessie stuck the picture in her back pocket.

"Those your parents?" Elliot asked, putting Jessie's bag in the back seat. They climbed into the car and headed toward Queens, where Elliot lived.

"Yeah, that's my folks." Jessie smiled sadly.

"Are you an only child?" Jessie nodded.

"It was fun growing up though." Jessie beamed as childhood memories came flooding back to her. "I had a big family and lots of cousins so there was usually always someone for me to play with. But when there wasn't I was good at entertaining myself. I have a very good imagination." Elliot laughed.

"I bet your folks miss you a lot, huh?" He asked. Jessie's smile faded as she turned her attention to the New York skyline. There were so many buildings. Too much concrete, Jessie decided. She was beginning to _really_ miss the country.

"Hey, did I say something wrong?" Elliot broke her train of thought. She looked over at him and smiled weakly, a halfhearted attempt to ease his worry.

"No, you didn't say anything wrong Elliot," Jessie said sadly. "Both of my parents are gone." Elliot nodded, understanding what she meant.

"Yeah, mine too." He said quietly.

"My father passed when I was twenty-two and my mother when I was twenty-three." She divulged to Elliot. This is a lot more than I told Fin, she thought.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Neither of the two felt like there was anything left to say at the moment. But the silence wasn't the uncomfortable awkward kind that often befell people. No, this silence was comfortable to both Elliot and Jessie. It was new to her. She usually felt like she had to be in constant conversation as if afraid the lack of sound would suck her in and swallow her like a black hole. But this was an easy silence that just felt right. Jessie liked it. She liked it a lot.

"So, do you like her?" John asked Fin on the way to John's apartment.

"What did you just say? I think I just heard you say you wanted to walk to and from work from now on?" Fin joked. John gave him his patented glare from over the top of his glasses.

"Answer the question." John said firmly.

"Will you give it a rest already? I hardly know her!" Fin exclaimed.

"Then get to know her."

"I will if you stop pestering me."

"I'm just saying I think it's a good idea." John said as they pulled up in front of his apartment building.

"She's new okay? Just leave it alone for a while." Fin half begged.

"Fine, lets get her settled in, then you pounce!" Fin rolled his eyes. The rolling of the eyes is a contagious habit, he thought. Thanks Jessie.

"Get out of my damn car." John got out, smiling at his aggressive partner.

"See you Monday morning!" John said cheerily. Fin said bye and drove off toward his own apartment in Brooklyn.

"Crazy old idiot!" Fin said aloud to himself. Don't even know what he's talking about, he thought. Then he thought back to Jessie.

There was definitely some form of attraction there, Fin thought. He wasn't blind after all! This chick was pretty cute. But there was also something else about her beyond how she looked.

Jessie had an attitude that rivaled his own. An attitude that spoke volumes about her person. She was confident but not cocky. She was bold but not stupid and brave but not reckless. He'd witnessed how calmly she'd aimed a loaded weapon to Marcos Cortez's face with ease. She was cool and collected but Fin would bet a lot of money that her temper was worse then Elliot's, John's, Olivia's, Don's, and his own combined.

This job would be a true test of her character, he thought. But she'd manage. This chick was strong. She had to be to have survived in the Gang Division and make detective so young. He couldn't imagine what horrors this woman had already seen, even though he knew it would only get worse now that she was a part of SVU. Yet, so far, she seemed upbeat and happy. Yeah, that's what I like, Fin thought.

He'd made a decision. He would give her a little time to get used to her new changes and challenges, give himself time to get to know her a lot better, make sure he was right about her, and then maybe ask her out for a nice dinner.

Fin laughed at himself because he was actually excited. In fact, he almost couldn't wait. He shook his head. Munch was right, he thought. "I've got it bad."

"Home sweet home!" Elliot said as they entered his house from the garage. "Make yourself comfortable." He smiled at her as they entered the kitchen. He sat her bag down on the counter.

"Lets take a quick tour." He suggested. Jessie smiled eagerly. She was excited to see what the house was like, seeing as she'd now be living there. Only for a few months, Jessie chided herself. She couldn't let herself love the house _too_ much because she knew she wouldn't be there forever.

Elliot began the tour in the kitchen. Showing her where the plates, cups, and silverware all were. They moved into the living room and from there to the kid's rooms. Maureen and Kathleen shared a bedroom downstairs and the twins shared an upstairs bedroom. They moved up the stairs where Elliot showed her the twin's room, his room, and her room.

She put her bag down by the door and then looked around. The room was painted in a cream color. Very natural, Jessie thought, glancing down at the carpet. It was a dark blue. There was a full sized bed pushed up against the far wall so that the headboard was next to one of the two windows. A nice dresser was shoved in a corner and Jessie saw a fairly nicely sized closet. Lots of space, she thought.

"I'll keep my furniture in storage. This is nicer." She laughed and Elliot laughed.

"This furniture was my mothers." Elliot smiled sadly. Jessie smiled in return.

Jessie had to admit she missed her bed, though the one in the room looked _awful_ comfortable. Elliot pointed out the adjoining bathroom, which was also decorated in natural colors.

"Thanks for letting me stay here Elliot. I owe you big time." Jessie said gratefully. "I reckon it would had gotten lonely at the precinct." He grinned.

"I'm glad for the company also. It gets pretty lonely here without the kids." Elliot said almost gloomily.

"I promise I'll make as much noise as possible." Jessie joked. Elliot laughed and shook his head.

"I guess I'll leave you to get settled in, take a shower, whatever you wanna do." Elliot said smiling.

"I'm plum tuckered out. I reckon I'm gonna take a shower and turn in. This will be the first decent _clean_ bed I'll of slept in since I got here!" Elliot grimaced. Her undercover job had apparently not been simple. She'd probably had to sleep in some pretty raunchy places.

"That's awful." Elliot said. Though he often had to sleep at the station at least it was clean and safe. He was a forty-year-old man and even he would be a little scared sleeping in a crack house.

"Back in Texas I'd slept in _much_ worse conditions. No big." Jessie shrugged it off. So what if one of the places she'd been stuck in was extremely dirty with mice, roaches, spiders, and any other kind of bug you could think of infesting it. Not to mention the strung out sex crazed junkie homeless people. She really _had_ slept in worse conditions and at least she didn't get shot.

Elliot left her to get comfortable in her new room and told her to pop in his room, if she wanted, and say goodnight.

She thought about the events of the day as she took a good hot shower. The water flowing over her skin felt so good. The stress of the day had made some of her old injuries stiffen up. She hadn't noticed over the course of the day because she'd learned to ignore the pain. She took off the bandage on her knee, cleaned the scrape, and put on a fresh one.

Once done she put on her pajamas she tip toed down the hallway and peered into Elliot's room. He was conked out on top of the covers, fully clothes and shoed, snoring contently. Jessie rolled her eyes and stepped quietly into the room.

Jessie carefully took off his shoes and socks and loosened his tie. She found a throw blanket sitting beside the bed and she covered him with it. As she turned to exit the room Elliot reached and grabbed her hand.

"Thanks," He whispered. She looked down at him, her wet hair matted to her head and no make up on. Elliot took in a sharp breath and swore that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

For some reason, to the day Jessie couldn't quite say why, but she was compelled to do something that was _completely_ out of her nature and, at the moment, possibly completely inappropriate, but she did it anyway. Jessie bent down slowly and kissed Elliot on the forehead. Yes, it was a small gesture, but a gesture that spoke volumes.

And then something else surprising happened. Jessie felt a pang of guilt shoot through her as one word came to her mind. _Fin_. What about Fin? She couldn't possibly have feelings for him. She hadn't even known him for twenty-four hours! But then Jessie was reminded of a quote that her mother had told her once when she was a teenager.

"_It takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. But an entire life to forget them."_

Even if that were true, Jessie thought, I haven't known Fin or Elliot for an entire day, so I shouldn't jump the gun. She said a quiet goodnight to Elliot and quickly left the room.

Jessie lay down in the new bed. Oh my gosh, she thought. It was so comfortable. Jessie curled up on her side as she felt herself begin to drift off. She said a quick prayer of thanks for all the wonderful people she'd met that day. _Especially_ Fin and Elliot, she thought.

"I'm gonna like it here," Jessie said aloud and then drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6 Fighting Demons

**Chapter 6 "Fighting Demons"**

The next few weeks seemed to of zoomed by. Jessie settled in fairly well considering she'd never worked sex crimes before. In the two weeks that had passed since Jessie's cover had been blown they hadn't had a major case. A few rape reports but they were always closed fairly simply.

Jessie thanked God for that. It helped her get used to all of her changes. She'd even unpacked most of her things with the help of Elliot. They'd spent hours going through her boxes, sharing stories, looking at photographs, and laughing. They did _a lot_ of laughing. She loved hearing stories about his kids.

She felt bad for Elliot sometimes though. In the two weeks she'd been living with him not one of his kids had come to the house, partly because they weren't at the house much anyway. They worked from early in the morning to late in the evening. But almost every night one of his four children would call him. She could tell it made him very sad to hang up the phone at the end of their calls. He loved his children _very_ much.

Jessie was sitting at her desk, a cup of coffee in hand, just relaxing, when Cragen burst out of his office. Jessie jumped, nearly toppling out of her chair.

"Just got a call from a couple of uniforms who say they found a kid badly beaten behind a dumpster." Cragen was speaking to Elliot and Olivia. Jessie, Fin, and John paid close attention.

"I want you two and Jessie to go to the hospital and see about the kid," Cragen said, turning to Jessie. She nodded and rose from her chair and put on her jacket. It was getting pretty cold outside and she knew she should have a heavier cote on but she just couldn't part with her jacket! It was like a lucky charm.

"I want you two at the scene." Cragen gestured toward Fin and John. Cragen gave them all the address and they were out the door.

Jessie felt a sense of familiarity as they entered the hospital. Jessie seemed to of spent a lot of time interviewing stab and gun shot gangsters in these places… then she remembered her own somewhat long stay in a hospital back in Dallas. Two weeks of hell. Two weeks of planning her next move. And she'd made it. To New York City.

Jessie shrugged off the memory and followed Elliot and Olivia down a long, white, sterile, pine smelling hallway.

"I _hate_ these places," Jessie mumbled. Elliot glanced over at his shoulder.

"Get used to it. You'll be here a lot." He said.

"I've already spent a lot of time in hospitals. I'll never get used to it." She said, her voice hard and hollow. Before Elliot could reply they reached their destination.

They were standing outside a room with a huge glass window so that they could see inside. Lying on a bed was a motionless little boy. Jessie's stomach flipped as she saw all the wires and tubes around the kid.

A tall flaming red headed woman stepped out of the room, a sad look on her face.

"I'm Doctor Park. You must be the detectives." The woman said, her voice light but sad.

"Yes, I'm Detective Stabler and these are my partners Detectives Benson and Harper. We'd like to ask you a few questions." The Doctor nodded.

"He's unconscious as you can tell." Jessie looked at the little boys face… or what _looked_ like a face. It was so swollen and purple that she couldn't see much of it.

"Has he been awake at all?" Jessie asked. Elliot and Olivia glanced at her and took a mental step backward. Jessie sensed that they wanted to watch her operate. Time to step up to the plate, Jessie thought.

"He mumbled some. Nothing anyone could make out. His eyes are swollen shut." The doctor looked angry. "Someone nearly beat this child to death." She growled. Jessie nodded.

"Is there any sign of sexual trauma?" She asked. The doctor nodded.

"That's the sickest part." The doctor said. "Whoever did this ripped his backside wide open."

"Will he recover?" Elliot jumped in. The doctor's face darkened.

"He's had multiple blows to the skull. Detectives, this boy is in very serious condition… I honestly don't think he'll make it." She looked at Jessie, tears brimming her eyes. "Is there anything else I can do?" She asked Jessie.

"Notify us if anything changes." Jessie handed her one of her cares with her cell number on it. "Take care of him ma'am." Doctor Park nodded.

"Catch the bastard." She said, then turned and walked down the hall.

"Count on it." Jessie mumbled as they turned and left the building.

"You alright?" Olivia asked Jessie from the front seat. They'd been called down to the scene to help John and Fin. "This is a tough job." She added kindly. Jessie laughed.

"Believe it or not I've seen worse than that." Jessie said. It was true Gang Division was no walk in the park.

"I didn't just deal with your typical street gangs. Our jurisdiction also covered crimes committed by religious groups and groups like the Klan. I've seen a lot of weird shit." Jessie explained.

Olivia turned around in her seat and looked at Jessie with curiosity.

"What kind of religious groups?" Olivia asked.

"Well," Jessie sighed. "We've busted groups out in the woods making human sacrifices." Jessie shuddered as she told Olivia and Elliot of one of the most disturbing cases she'd ever worked in her life.

Jessie had crept through the woods toward a clearing lit up by an eerie glow from dozens of torches. She knew that they had the group surrounded but pure fear had crept into Jessie's heart. Jessie was many things but she was no coward and had learned that she didn't scare easily…but the sight she witnessed would of frightened even the bravest of men and women.

There was a group of what looked like nearly thirty people dressed in long flowing black robes all in a perfect circle. Hoods covered their faces and the only sound Jessie heard was the sound of the group chanting something she couldn't quite place.

Even though she couldn't understand what they were saying Jessie could still feel the evil vibrating from the words. Jessie couldn't see what the group was standing around but she knew in her heart they were too late…

The investigation had started out with odd disappearances off teenage boys and girls. Soon a connection was made. All these kids were church members and all respected leaders in their youth groups. All made a vow to stay virgins till they were married.

That's when the case was handed over to Gang Division. The connection to religion made them the obvious choice. Jessie and her partner had worked the case, finding small clues here and there. All the evidence had lead them right to that portion of wood.

The group they witnessed was performing an ancient ritual. A virgin sacrifice.

Jessie said a quick prayer as she whispered into the walkie-talkie that she was moving in. Jessie took a deep breath and walked out of the woods, the silver cross necklace she was wearing glistening in the firelight. She had her gun aimed at the head of the nearest black robed psycho.

"Turn around slowly! We have you surrounded!" Jessie yelled over the chanting. She nearly thought she'd faint when the entire group turned and looked at her. The rest of her team burst from the brush and the black robed figures got on their stomachs.

Jessie was in shock when she looked at what the group had surrounded. Nothing could have prepared anyone for that sight. All five missing girls and all five missing boys lying there…. in _pieces_. It was the _bloodiest_ scene she'd ever witnessed.

"I've _never_ taken this necklace off since that night. Not once." Jessie showed Olivia her silver cross.

"I don't know how you handled that." Olivia said, her voice shaking.

"I pray a lot." Jessie shrugged.

Elliot was speechless. Jessie had definitely been exposed to more than he thought she had.

"Blood, beatings, psycho crap isn't what is going to bother me. I can deal with just about anything. It's _rape_…" Jessie looked out the window, willing the memories away. "I've dealt with rape also, but never like this. Rape is going to be difficult." Olivia nodded, fully understanding, being a product of rape herself.

"Do you mind if I ask if you've known someone personally who was raped?" Jessie nodded.

"Yeah, I knew someone." Jessie's voice was distant. Before Olivia could ask any more questions they arrived at the crime scene.

"Whoever did this dumped the kid here." Fin pointed to a pool of blood in the alley. Fin and John filled Elliot, Olivia, and Jessie in on the details.

According to the crime scene investigators the kid had been raped and beaten there in the alley and left for dead. They got a good set of prints in blood that they could use and they also had the DNA from the rape kit that was performed on the kid. Right in the middle of the briefing Jessie's cell rang.

"Jade Harper," She answered. Elliot, Olivia, Fin, and John waited patiently till she got off the phone. She'd gone pale and looked extremely sad.

"Prints came back on the kid. They were in the system from a safety day at school." Jessie sighed, trying to regain composure and keep her voice from shaking. "His name was Chance Jones. He was ten years old…and he died ten minutes ago."

Jessie hesitated before ringing the doorbell of the Jones' residence. Elliot and Jessie went to inform the family of their son's death and get any information that may help solve the case. They had reported him missing the previous morning.

Elliot put a comforting hand on the small of her back as the door opened. A petite, small framed, dark headed woman answered the door.

"Can I help you?" She asked, her voice weak and tired sounded. She had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept.

"Yes ma'am. I'm Detective Harper and this is my partner Detective Stabler. Are you Mrs. Jones?" Jessie tried to collect herself and keep her emotions at bay.

"Yes I am. Are you here about my son?" She exclaimed as she opened the door. The two detectives stepped inside.

Before they answered Mrs. Jones lead them to a classically styled sitting room and asked them to sit down. She sat down in the love seat opposite of the sofa where Elliot and Jessie tensely sat.

"Please, tell me what you know about my son." Mrs. Jones looked desperate.

"Um, yes ma'am, but is Chance's father home? I feel like we need to have him present also if possible." Elliot asked. Mrs. Jones shook her head wearily.

"No, Chance's real father passed some time ago. His stepfather, my husband Rodney, adopted him two years ago. He's at work right now." Jessie sighed and looked at Elliot who in turn nodded solemnly.

Jessie stood up and went to sit next to Mrs. Jones. She'd informed many parents of their children's death but it never got any easier.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jones," Jessie began. Tears were already filling the mothers eyes but she remained silent as if waiting to hear verbal confirmation of her worse nightmare. "Your son Chance was found today by police and rushed to the hospital. They did all the could but… I'm so sorry. He didn't make it."

Jessie had her head down on her desk. She could hear others talking around her but she didn't lift her head or open her eyes.

After Jessie had told Chance's mother the details of her son's death the poor woman had fallen to pieces, clinging to Jessie for dear life. Jessie and Elliot waited there until a friend of Mrs. Jones arrived to take care of her and call her husband.

They had spent the rest of the day tracking down leads and interrogating suspects till one of them finally cracked and Jessie enjoyed doing the cracking.

Jessie had stridden into the interrogation room where the suspect, Jacob Lawson, was sitting calmly in a chair, looking amused. He'd lied about his whereabouts at the time of the murder and a witness had pointed him out of a picture array. Alls they needed was DNA or a confession.

"You're a business partner of Jones', correct?" Jessie asked, glancing into the file in front of her.

"Yes, though I don't…" Jessie waved him off.

"Any bad business ventures here lately?" Jessie watched the man in front of her closely. He was handsome, in his late forties, and was cool as a cucumber. Or so he seemed. Jessie noticed a slight twitch of his mouth and tilting of his head.

"I don't see why that matters." He said calmly. Jessie half expected him to ask to call his lawyer but he didn't. That would make him appear guilty.

"You must have been pissed at Jones' when your stock plummeted into the toilet last month." Jessie pushed the file toward Lawson. "Pissed enough to beat and rape a little boy."

"You can't prove a thing." Lawson smiled and folded his hands over the file.

"Actually I can. See, a witness places you at the scene when you said you were at a business meeting. You weren't at any meeting Mr. Lawson." It was Jessie's turn to smile.

"The witness is mistaken." He said smugly.

"Prove it. Give us a DNA swab."

"You must take me for a fool Detective Harper!" He leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily.

"No, just a sadistic baby raping bastard." Jessie fired back. Lawson cocked an eyebrow and gave her a million dollar smile.

"Such a waste," He said, staring at Jessie will cool blue eyes. "Such a pretty face and yet you waste it being a cop. Why?" Jessie leaned over the table and slammed her hands down in front of Lawson, almost making him jump.

"To put sons a bitches like you in jail." Jessie rolled her eyes. "We have an _eye witness_ you freaking idiot! That means we're going to put you up for a line up, she's going to finger you, and you're going down for rape and murder!" Jessie continued to yell. Lawson was beginning to look nervous.

"You can hide behind that fancy suit but we both know you are broke off your ass! Once the witness identifies you I'm gonna arrest your sick sorry ass, stuff the damned q-tip down your throat, and escort you to death row." Lawson visibly paled. He sat for several seconds as if weighing his options. Jessie began walking out the door.

"_Okay_," He sighed. "I confess. I did it. I killed Chance."

Her co-workers congratulated Jessie on a job well done. The truth of it was that Jessie had bluffed her way through that interrogation. The witness was an old man with not so good vision but, of course, she didn't have to tell Lawson that. He'd never asked for a lawyer so he didn't really know his options. He could have gotten away with it if he'd have been just a tad bit smarter.

"Dallas P.D was right about her." She heard John say to Cragen.

That had been a good three hours before. It was now six in the evening and Jessie had finished all of her paperwork. She wanted nothing more than to lay her head down and have everyone leave her the hell alone.

"Jessie, my office please." Damn, she thought. No such luck. She got up and went into Cragen's office, where Cragen and a short Asian man in a business suit greeted her.

"This is Doctor George Huang. George, meet Jade Harper." Jessie gave him a halfhearted grin and shook his hand, hearing the word Doctor and becoming leery.

"Call me Jessie." She said.

"I'm the resident psychiatrist here and I have come to evaluate you." He said cheerfully, clapping his hands together. Yes, very funny asshole, she thought angrily. She hated these things. She'd had enough of them over the past few years.

"You're _kidding_, right?" Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Afraid not Jess. Our psychiatrist has to evaluate you and it has to go on file. I put it off as long as I could." Cragen said apologetically. "I'll give you two some privacy." Cragen left his office and shut the door. Huang and Jessie sat in the chairs in front of Cragen's desk, maneuvering them so they were face to face.

"I'm apologizing in advance. I'm a little difficult." Jessie said smiling. Huang smiled in return.

"I'm used to it. I work with Elliot." He said laughing. "Your accent is interesting. Very Southern." He remarked. Jessie raised an eyebrow.

"As is yours. Very Chinese." Huang laughed. "Have you read my file?" Jessie asked. He nodded. "So you already know about my little incident?" Jessie said dejectedly.

"Is that how you feel about it? It was just an incident?" Huang asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs.

"It's easier to think of it that way now." Jessie replied.

"Go on," Huang said, urging her to talk.

"I took six months off the job. Okay, well, I was _ordered_ to take six months off the job." Jessie sighed. "I had plenty of time to think and to heal on the matter. I decided to transfer somewhere far away and here I am."

"So you feel like you've moved past it?" Huang asked. Jessie took a moment to think before answering.

"Yes sir, I believe I have."

Jessie and Doctor Huang emerged from Captain Cragen's office a half hour later, both hysterically laughing.

"I think things went well." John commented to Don.

"Is she mentally capable?" Don asked. Huang simply nodded.

"I'll write up the report tonight." He said, almost gasping for breath. Everyone was astonished. They had never seen Huang like this before. Jessie definitely had some unique qualities.

Cragen and Huang hung off to the side, both observing the five detectives crowding around Jessie's desk, no doubt asking what she'd done to make the Doc laugh so hard.

"She certainly has a way with people." Don shrugged.

"Yes, she does." George answered.

"Elliot said was sort of shaken up after they got back from the victims home. He said she approached the situation with amazing sensitivity though." Don peered at George. "Do you think she's _really_ capable of this job George?"

Huang almost laughed. Jessie had told him horror stories from her job in Texas. Stories of gangs, drugs, religious cults, and racial crime… her own personal encounter. And yet she seemed happy. No, she _was_ happy. She still had demons to fight, they all did, but she seemed to do very well at keeping a mental distance even if her emotions were plagued.

"Don, she's more capable then any of us here, including me." Don wasn't surprised. He'd sensed something in Jessie from the moment he shook her hand. She as special and everyone saw it.

"Has she told them about why she _really_ came here?" George asked. Don shook his head. "She will," George said. "She just needs a little time to keep fighting her demons."

**Authors note: Yeah, this one didn't have much romance in it, but I had to add a little bit of actual detective work didn't I? So, I get a lot of hits on this story, but have only six reviews? That's sad. Lol. Thank you to all that have reviewed! I really appreciate it. I need the feedback. This chapter may seem a little out of place with the story but I felt I needed to introduce Huang into the story and get a good vibe going on Jessie's mental capacity. Oh, and to one of the reviewers lol. Actually, more Texan's consider themselves Southern than you would think, including myself. I'm pure Southern dear lol. Texas was an independent state for a while but hasn't been for a very long time and not many of us (that I've seen) are arrogant enough to still consider it so. So we count ourselves as part of the dirty South baby! I don't have a Texan accent, I have a VERY Southern accent lol. **

**Okay, so that said, please keep reading and reviewing people! **


	7. Chapter 7 Prideful Mistakes

**Chapter 7 "Prideful Mistakes" **

"Shut up Munch!" Olivia and Jessie shouted in unison.

"It's true. Woman are good at wasting money!" John quipped from his desk.

"Oh shut up you bitter old fart!" Jessie snapped. She was stressed out as it was and she didn't feel like listening to John rattle his head anymore.

"Well, _someone_ woke up on the complete opposite side of the bed this morning, hm?" John teased smiling, earning him a death glare from Jessie. He was right. She was in a very pissy mood.

"Oh just go away." She put her head down on her desk, giving off the impression she didn't want to be bothered. Of course, Fin wouldn't seem to notice that.

"What's eatin you?" Fin asked. "You usually like to listen to John's meaningless rambles." This earned Fin an over the glasses glare from John. Jessie slowly looked over at Fin who was sitting cozily at his desk.

"You wanna know what's eatin me?" She stood up. Fin gulped and started to stand up slowly.

"Jessie, now, chill out. I ain't done shit to you…" He said, putting his hands up.

"What's eating me is…is…"Jessie threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "_Men_!" She turned around and walked out of the squad room.

"I thought she was gonna castrate me!" Fin let out the breath he'd been holding.

"What the hell did you do to her?" John yelled.

"Nothing! I swear!" Fin collapsed into his chair.

"It was either you or Stabler." John reasoned.

"How you know she ain't pissed at you?" Fin asked.

"Because I'm not the one sending her mixed signals!" John snapped. Fin just shook his head.

"Shut up Munch."

Jessie didn't know where she was headed but she was content as long as she could keep walking. Once she'd mellowed out a little she would go back and apologize to John and Fin. Well… she'd apologize to John. She really wanted to scream at Fin. And Elliot. A lot.

She looked down to her left and saw a flight of stairs. She sat down on the first step and buried her head in her hands. I _hate_ men, she thought.

Jessie had nearly been with SVU a month now. Christmas was in three weeks. She knew Elliot and Fin both were attracted to her and yet the two seemed hell bent on never making a move. This is why I don't date, she thought, rolling her eyes.

But now that Jessie had spent more time with each man she couldn't deny that she found them both attractive…but especially Fin.

She couldn't explain it. Not really. Every now and then, while engaging in intimate conversation, Fin would reach out and touch her hand, and every night before they would all leave to go home, he would kiss her on the cheek. She would just feel ignited! Like a bomb of Monarchs had blown up in her stomach. That's how she knew she was forming feelings for him.

Jessie was an expert on control but not even she could control that feeling. And it wasn't only physical. She felt drawn to him. They could talk about anything. He understood things about her no one had. And mostly important, Fin understood the things Jessie had seen. He grew up around gangs and drugs. He knew what Jessie had fought against and what she was still fighting for. What _they_ were fighting for.

Jessie was good at reading people. In fact, she could read most people like books. She just _knew_ Fin cared for her. She just didn't understand _why_ he wouldn't act!

She shrugged and rose from the stairs. She knew she wasn't going to solve all of her problems right then and there so she might as well head back and apologize to John.

As Jessie entered the squad room Olivia met her at the door.

"Hey, you okay?" Olivia put a friendly arm around Jessie.

Olivia and Jessie had formed a nice friendship in the month they'd been working together. Olivia was grateful to have a woman to talk to. Jessie liked Olivia. She was strong and proud and those were two qualities that Jessie liked a lot.

"I'm alright Liv." Jessie sighed. "I'm just a little irritable. I'll tell you about it later." Olivia seemed to have accepted it and went about her business.

Jessie walked solemnly to John's desk. He glared at her briefly and then turned back to his newspaper.

"_John_," Jessie pouted. He ruffled his paper. Jessie scowled. He wasn't going to make this easy.

"I love you Munchkin!" She said in her best baby-talk voice. Another ruffling of the paper. Jessie sighed, defeated, and walked around the desk.

"Look at me!" She ordered. He kept his gaze on the paper. Have it your way, Jessie thought. Jessie pulled John's chair out from under his desk a little, getting only a grunt from him, and then _sat_ in his lap.

Fin and Olivia watched in amusement. Elliot is gonna wish he'd seen this, Olivia thought, wishing her partner hadn't gone out for coffee. Never in her years of working with the unit had anyone ever sat in the cynical, bitter, and all out sarcastic grouch that was John Munch's lap!

John was stunned only for a moment and soon regained composure. He calmly folded his paper and then sitting it on his desk.

"You have my attention." He said, folding his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry," Jessie muttered. She wasn't good at apologies and John knew it. It was almost surprising how well John already knew Jessie considering the short time they'd known one another but they also had gotten quite close.

"_For_ what?" John wanted to see her squirm. She sighed.

"_For_ being an irritable bitch." John smiled in triumph.

"Apology accepted." John snaked his wiry muscled arms around her waste and she around his neck and they hugged.

"Thanks John!" She beamed and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. He blushed a bit and she rose from his lap and went back to her desk.

Fin waited eagerly for her to come over and apologize but all he got was a scary looking stare as if to say it would be a cold day in hell before she apologized to him. What the hell did I do, Fin wondered? Nothing out of the ordinary had conspired between the two. Just their normal routine.

Fin shook his head and returned to his paper work. _Woman_, he thought. I ain't never gonna understand them.

"Hey Don, can I talk to you in your office?" Olivia asked him. He nodded and they went inside to sit down. Olivia figured that Jessie's moody behavior was probably due to some of the signals Elliot had been sending her.

Jessie had mentioned to Olivia a few days prior that she and Elliot seemed to be getting along great. Elliot showed signs of liking Jessie (hell, a blind person could see that!) but Jessie didn't get why Elliot hadn't even attempted to hold her hand!

Jessie pretended it didn't bother her but when Olivia saw the mood she was in she just knew that Elliot was the cause. She also knew she had a bet to win and that it was time to set a plan into motion. And for this she needed the Captain's help.

"What's on your mind Olivia?" Don asked, seeming concerned.

"Okay, can I ask you a hypothetical question?" She asked. Don raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

"This ought to be good." Olivia ignored him.

"What would you say if two of your detectives started a relationship?" She asked point blank. Don narrowed his eyes.

"Depends I guess." Don said, thinking about his answer. "I don't suppose I'd mind as long as it didn't get in the way of their jobs." Olivia smiled.

"Wanna help me play cupid?" Don thought about this carefully. Something like this could have serious repercussions.

"What the hell?" He sighed. Olivia filled him in on her scam.

"Hey Jessie?" Fin slowly wheeled his chair over to her desk. Elliot had just come back with the coffee and had elected Fin on making a run for Chinese since it was around lunchtime.

Fin figured he would ask Jessie to ride with him to get the food and try to figure out what the hell had been bothering her all morning. She hadn't so much as looked at him since her very public and humorous apology to Munch. Since then she'd spent most of the morning discussing theories and politics with him. God only knew why she indulged him.

"Do you wanna go with me to get Chinese?" Fin asked quietly.

"Don't they deliver?" She asked, barely glancing his way.

"We would go to the only Chinese restaurant in the city that doesn't." John said from his desk. Fin shot him a dirty look. Jessie sighed.

"Yeah, lets go."

In the car Jessie tried to focus her stare outside the window. She knew she was being unfair, not even telling Fin what was bothering her. But she couldn't bring herself to say, "I like you! You like me! Ask me out already!" so it seemed that she was screwed.

What the hell is wrong with me, she thought frustrated. I'm a good detective! I can get confessions out of the most creepy, sadistic, and dangerous perps! And with that thought Jessie got an idea. If she could get a confession of out of badass gangster then there was no reason why she couldn't at least try to get _something_ out of Fin Tutuola.

Jessie glanced over at him. He was frowning.

"I'm sorry," She said. Fins glanced over at her and then back to the road. She rolled her eyes. "You can't pull it off as well as John." Jessie laughed.

"Yeah, but the silent treatment is gonna drive you crazy!" Fin chuckled.

"Yeah, whatever! You can't resist my charm!" Jessie scooted a little closer to Fin. She began making whining noises and sticking out her bottom lip. "Fin, please, I'm sorry." She whined for a full five minutes before Fin finally gave in.

"Alright! I give! I accept the apology." Fin laughed. Jessie kissed his cheek and moved back to her seat, but to Fin's disappointment.

Fin couldn't deny it. He was falling for Jessie in a major way. She often consumed his thoughts. He was sleeping better at night knowing he would see her the next morning. As cheesy as it all was, it was true.

Fin was feeling things he hadn't felt in quite a long time. He just didn't know how to express any of these feelings. Spilling his heart wasn't something Fin did very often.

He'd done well to keep up his image and didn't know how to tell Jessie how he felt without looking soft. He had a reputation to uphold! He was afraid that one woman was going to make him throw all his hard work away.

When the got to the restaurant Fin parked the car and they went inside. Jessie looked around in aw at the beautifully oriental styled room. Fin chuckled and they ordered their food, sitting at a booth to wait.

"Do I have to have a date for this Christmas Eve party I've heard so much about?" Jessie asked Fin while they waited.

Jessie had been informed that the Christmas Eve party was a long-standing tradition and that her presence was required. Jessie didn't really like office parties. In fact, Jessie just didn't like parties in general. Something _always_ went wrong or some of kind drama _always_ occurred.

Fin shrugged. "Nah," He said. "John goes stag every year." He smirked.

"Do _you_ have a date?" Jessie asked. Hopefully Fin would get the hint.

Fin hesitated for a moment. Fin didn't think she was implying anything. That didn't seem her style. If she wanted him to ask her she'd probably be more upfront about it. Fin frowned. He didn't want to tell her he didn't have a date. That may make _him_ look like the one that was fishing for a date. He wouldn't know till later that he was about to make a terrible mistake.

"Yeah, I'm taking this chick I met in my building last week." Jessie's jaw dropped but she soon regained control of her emotions. This was difficult seeing as she felt like she'd been punched right in the gut. She even smiled. A very fake smile but a smile none the less.

No, she thought. No way I was wrong. She could read people so well! How could she of been so wrong? Just then someone brought them their food in a bag and Jessie walked out of the restaurant, not bothering to wait for Fin. It was a quiet car ride back to the precinct.

"Food!" John exclaimed as Jessie and Fin walked through the door. He smiled at Jessie and she struggled to smile back.

Jessie didn't want anyone to know about her embarrassing mistake. She would rather suffer in silence. She felt humiliated despite the fact that Fin was, as far as she knew, unaware of her feelings.

Everyone crowded around Fin's desk to get their food and then went back to their own desks. Olivia took Don his food. Jessie poked her food around on her plate with her fork. She couldn't eat. She just stared at her plate while everyone else dug in. She was glad no one was paying attention to her. She could drop the act for at least a few minutes and actually show her misery.

Olivia sat quietly back down at her desk next to Elliot.

"Damn, I forgot paper towels! Elliot, will you go get some from the janitors closet?" Elliot replied with a grunt and heaved himself out of his chair.

A second later Don came out of his office and asked Jessie to also get him some paper towels. She walked lazily toward the closet. She'd never felt so out of it. If she'd of been in her right mind she'd of heard Olivia's request and saw Elliot comply.

Jessie didn't realize anything was up till she walked into the closet, leaving the door open. Elliot was on a stool looking up on the top shelf.

"If you're looking for paper towels grab me some." Jessie said. Elliot huffed and hopped down off the stood.

"There are none." He said shrugging. They both turned to see the door slam in their faces. They both lunged for the door but then heard the click of the lock.

"We've been dooped." Jessie sighed.

On the other side of the door Olivia and Don were having a nice laugh. Don told Olivia, Fin, and John to come into his office. John and Fin were genuinely confused.

"What are you two up to? Don, this isn't like you." John said, eyeing Olivia. She wouldn't, he thought. _Don_ wouldn't! Would he?

"Elliot and Jessie obviously like each other and I for one am tired of seeing them both mope around like lost puppies!" Olivia said, taking a front row seat. John glared at Don.

"She talked me into it!" Don said in his defense, sitting in his chair. "Besides, its about time Elliot started dating again." He added.

"You two don't really think it'll work do you?" Fin asked, sounding desperate. Why hadn't he just said something when he had the chance?

"No idea," Olivia shrugged. "Watch and see."

Jessie paced the inside of the closet like a caged animal. She was mad. No, she was _pissed_! She was locked in a closet with Elliot, who was cool as a cucumber, just after having her hopes of dating Fin blown into oblivion. Not fair! And she knew who was behind this. Olivia! And she'd obviously gotten Don involved somehow.

"I bet they have a camera somewhere." Elliot reasoned. Jessie stopped pacing and glared at him, then glanced around the room.

"Does Olivia know sign language?" Jessie asked. Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"A little," He said. "Why?"

"Think she knows what this means?" Jessie stuck her right hand in the air and raised her middle finger. Elliot laughed and smiled and Jessie. He also knew Olivia was behind them being trapped in the closet. She was hell bent on seeing he and Jessie together.

It wasn't as if Elliot hadn't thought about the same thing. Over the past few weeks he'd grown to care for Jessie very much. The more he found out about her the more he wanted to learn. She was complex and deep while fun and adventurous.

She was the total package. Everything a man could ask for. Everything Elliot had ever wanted. He hadn't known how to approach the situation but he guessed that he now had no choice.

"Jessie…" Elliot sighed her name and stood up from his seat. Jessie froze. She kept staring at Elliot as he stepped toward her. She willed herself to back away but her wounded pride wouldn't allow it. She had been wrong about Fin… but not Elliot.

Jessie and Elliot were toe to toe but neither made a move. Jessie knew this was a really bad idea. She cares for Fin! A few minutes in a closet with Elliot wasn't going to change that. Except for the fact that Fin didn't feel the same…

"You have beautiful eyes," Elliot whispered. Jessie smiled sheepishly and looked at the floor, feeling self-conscious. Elliot brought his hand to her cheek and Jessie lifted her gaze back to him.

"This could turn out bad," Jessie tried to reason aloud.

"Yeah," Elliot murmured. "Or it could turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to us."

"I don't want to hurt you," Jessie whispered. It was true.

"You wont," Elliot whispered as he began to bend down. But I will, Jessie thought. Then their lips met.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her waste and pulled her closer and she automatically wrapped her arms around his neck. A million thoughts went through her head as Elliot deepened the kiss. She knew that it was wrong. And she also knew that there was no turning back.

And she had no way of knowing that at that moment Fin's heart was breaking right along with hers.

When Elliot and Jessie exited the closet they were greeted by their our co-workers and friends.

"Thank God!" Olivia sighed and hugged Jessie. "I could tell by the way you were acting today that Elliot's lack of initiative was bugging you!" Jessie smiled her fake practiced smile. If Olivia only knew how wrong she'd been…

"Congratulations," John sighed, trying to look happy for them. John knew, he didn't know how, but he just _knew_ she had feelings for Fin, and John was not going to give up on them even if she had already. He had seen Fin's face when Elliot kissed Jessie. It had broken the man's heart!

"Don't let it interfere with work." Don warned, patting Elliot on the back.

"We wont." Elliot promised. Don nodded and smiled. He knew they were all too professional to let a little dating get in the way. It was strange to Don though. He always thought it would be Olivia. He shrugged and went back to his office and let everyone else congratulate the new couple.

Jessie went back to her desk and sat down, her head spinning. This had all happened so fast. Too fast for her to put a stop to. She was in a relationship with Elliot? How the hell did that happen? Hadn't she just been pining over Fin?

At that moment Jessie wanted nothing more then to just tell Elliot the truth but her pride wouldn't let her. She'd apparently been wrong about Fin and would be crazy to turn down a good-looking guy like Elliot that _did_ want her.

Jessie decided it was worth giving a shot. Fin walked over to his desk and slumped over in his chair.

"Guess you wont be worrying about not having a date for the Christmas party now." Fin said frowning. Jessie didn't notice because she didn't look at him. She kept her eyes on Elliot and smiled.

"No, I guess I don't."

John pulled Olivia to the side when he knew no one would notice. Jessie and Elliot were sitting at her desk laughing about something and Fin was at his desk looking miserable.

"Now what the hell was that?" He snapped.

"Me winning the bet!" She poked John in the stomach and smiled brightly in triumph. John smirked.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch dear," He said. "A lot can happen in five months." Olivia looked worriedly over at the new couple. If Jessie and Elliot ended badly it could mean big trouble for the whole squad.

Olivia shook it off, trying to remain confident. She would wish later on that she had known at the time how right John was.

**Authors Note: Dun dun dun! What's gonna happen? Yeah, I've finally got a plan for the rest of this fic! I see me getting more hits for the story but still not a lot of reviews. … BUT I do appreciate all the people that have reviewed! So I beg of you all please r/r! Chapter 8 should be up sometime in the next…week or two. I haven't started writing it and I've been VERY busy so be on the look out! L8er-Ali**


	8. Chapter 8 Fancy Revolations

**Chapter 8 "Fancy Dress"**

"So, here we are." Elliot said as he nervously glanced around his kitchen. Jessie stood in the doorway, awkwardly shifting her weight from leg to leg.

She couldn't deny that she was beyond nervous and she wasn't even going to bother trying to hide it.

Elliot walked over to her and pulled her into a strong hug. The car ride home had been quiet and awkward as they both thought about the events of the day. Olivia had blind-sided them both and things just happened so fast. Jessie was beginning to realize that she was now in a _relationship_. It had been a while since she'd dated.

"We _live_ together!" Jessie exclaimed in aw. Elliot chuckled.

"Yeah, we sort of jumped a few stages of a normal relationship, huh?" Jessie nodded into his chest and tried to laugh.

Jessie and Elliot had gotten to know one another well in the month that they'd been living together. Elliot's favorite color was dark blue; he liked basketball, and loved Italian food. He knew Jessie also loved Italian, she was a baseball fan, and her favorite color was cerulean blue. But for some reason Jessie still felt like Elliot didn't _really_ know her at all.

"I'm not good at the whole relationship thing," Jessie blurted out, pulling herself away from Elliot. She shook her head. Elliot really didn't know her. He'd been living with a stranger. "I'm gonna go take a shower." She mumbled and quickly headed up the stairs, leaving a very confused Elliot behind.

Jessie took her time in the shower, letting the events of the day sink in. She tried her hardest not to think of Fin but her thoughts seemed to always go back to him. She tried to just shrug it off but she realized that it wasn't going to be that simple.

Jessie just had to remember that she'd left a kind hearted brave (not to mention gorgeous) man downstairs, probably confused, who really liked her. She'd already messed up with Fin so why let herself screw up with Elliot? Jessie sighed. She had a tendency to screw things up.

Jessie got out of the shower, put on her pajamas, and walked out of the bathroom toweling her hair. She stopped and dropped the towel when she saw Elliot sitting on the edge of her bed in his pajamas.

At first neither moved, just stared at one another, then Elliot stood up and began walking toward her. Jessie met him in the middle of the room.

"Hey," Jessie whispered, keeping her eyes on his face. She wouldn't allow herself a moment of weakness to look at her feet even though she badly wanted to!

"Hi," Elliot smiled and then sighed heavily. "Jessie, I understand this is crazy and sudden, trust me I feel that too, but…" He paused, taking Jessie's hand in his. "I feel something for you that I've forgotten I could feel. I know all this is a little scary but don't you think it would be wrong for us not to even try?" Jessie beamed.

"I've gotten into fist fights with gang members three times my size but relationships scare the hell out of me!" Jessie muttered and they both laughed.

Jessie looked into Elliot's eyes, trying to get a read on him. Trying to see what he was _really_ feeling. His face was relaxed and strong but his eyes were filled with longing, concern, and something that was almost…gentle. But not as gentle as Fin's, Jessie thought.

Jessie was so mentally shaken by the thought of Fin that she immediately wrapped her arms around Elliot and pulled him into a deep kiss. Neither broke the kiss until Elliot started moving the pair toward the bed. When Jessie bumped into the edge she pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked, his voice low and husky.

"I…we…er…I…" Jessie stammered. She couldn't tell him what she knew he needed to know. What he had a right to know. She just _couldn't_ bring herself to say it all out loud yet….

"I don't want to do this unless I know its right. I want us to be in love." She whispered. Elliot smiled and pulled her close.

"That's no problem baby," He said sincerely. "I'll wait as long as you want." Elliot kissed her forehead and started toward the door.

"Elliot wait!" Jessie pulled out the covers on both sides of the bed. "Stay with me?"

Elliot grinned and turned off the light. Jessie and Elliot crawled into bed, Jessie snuggling into his chest, and him wrapping his arms around her. A few minutes later they were both happily fast asleep.

Jessie and Elliot spent the next week building a strong foundation for their relationship. They proved to the Captain and to themselves that they weren't going to let their relationship get in the way with their work. They knew they were breaking a _major_ rule but as long as it didn't get in the way of any of their cases no one seemed to mind.

Every now and then, though, Jessie would catch Elliot giving her those sappy looks. She always knew when he was looking her way because John would say something about suddenly feeling the urge to vomit.

The weekend came quickly that week and the detectives had Saturday and Sunday off as long as a major case didn't come through. They were rummaging through papers at their desks, making sure that they didn't leave anything behind that they needed for the weekend.

After Elliot was satisfied that he had everything he walked over and sat on Jessie's desk.

"Got any plans for tomorrow night?" He asked as she continually looked through the mounds of paperwork she'd already accumulated.

"Saturday? Nope." Jessie quickly answered him. She was a little distracted. "Ahha! Found you, you little bastard!" She held the piece of paper up high over her head in triumph. She'd been looking for it for almost an hour!

"Good," Elliot said while giving her a funny look. He shook his head. "Anyway, yeah, dress up in your fanciest clothes because I'm gonna take you out to a nice dinner." Jessie cocked an eyebrow and shook her head.

"I'm Southern. I don't do '_fancy'_."

"Aw come on baby," Elliot pleaded. He walked around the desk, putting an arm around her. "I want to wine and dine you." His eyes got big and he started to pout.

"I don't drink." Jessie said flatly.

"You don't? Not at all?" Jessie shook her head.

It was true. Jessie liked the fact that she had control over herself and the thought of getting so wasted that you wake up naked in some stranger's bed with a headache _and_ no memory never appealed to her much. She never even experimented in high school when getting smashed every weekend was the 'it' thing to do.

"Well, that's fine. I'll water and dine you, I don't care." Elliot turned to Olivia. "Liv, tell this woman she needs to let me take her out tomorrow night." Jessie elbowed Elliot hard in the gut. He groaned and glared at her. Olivia laughed.

"You don't want to go?" Jessie shrugged.

"Why not?" Elliot demanded.

"Its sort of embarrassing." Jessie mumbled.

"Oh _come on_!"

"Fine!" Jessie yelled back. "Idon'thaveadress." Jessie said as quickly as possible. Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell did you just say?" She asked chuckling.

"I don't own a dress! _Happy_?" Jessie raised her voice louder than she intended and quickly regretted it as John and Fin burst into laughter.

"You're a twenty-six year old woman with _no_ dress?" John asked, bewildered. "My ex wives could of learned from her." He said to Fin.

"Well, back in Texas I never found much use for one!" Jessie defended herself.

"What did you wear out on occasions?" Olivia was stunned. She'd never heard of a woman with no dress. She herself had more than ten dresses in her closet for every occasion you could possibly think of!

"What occasions?" Jessie laughed. "The last of my friends married when I was twenty-three and since then I've only been to funerals. In Texas, as long as it looks decent, you can wear jeans to funerals."

"Wow," Elliot shook his head and laughed. " Olivia, do you think Jessie could fit into anything of yours?" Olivia nodded.

"Bring her by my place two hours before you want to go out and I'll find her something." Olivia offered. Jessie's eyes went wide.

"What about shoes? I can't wear my boots or tennis shoes with a nice dress!" Jessie pointed out. She was bound and determined _not_ to go out to a fancy restaurant. Hell, she thought, I don't even know how to act in no place like that!

"I wear a size eight." Olivia smirked.

"Damnit! Same here." Jessie said, feeling very glum. Olivia beamed.

"Its settled then!" Olivia was so excited. She was going to make Jessie look even more stunning then she already was. Elliot wouldn't know what hit him! She'd have him falling in love by the end of the night.

Olivia glanced up at Elliot who was gazing down at Jessie with a look Olivia recognized. Elliot used to look at Kathy with that same sense of adoration. Wow, Olivia thought, maybe he's already fallen in love.

"That's it! I ain't goin!" Jessie exclaimed.

Jessie was standing in Olivia's bedroom in front of her full-length mirror. Olivia had put Jessie in a tight spaghetti strapped navy blue dress, done her hair up in some bun thing, and put her in some navy blue heels.

"Oh _yes_ you are!" Olivia said firmly, placing her hands on her hips.

Jessie looked awesome! Her bangs fell around the curves of her face and Olivia did her makeup with black eyeliner and mascara with some smoky eye shadow. Olivia didn't understand why she was so self-conscious!

"Tell Elliot I've come down with a bad case of the plague or something to that effect." Jessie said miserably, sitting on the edge of Olivia's bed.

Jessie had never been one for the girly thing. She could count on her fingers and toes how many times she'd gotten really dressed up in her entire life. She was just a down home country girl who used to work the family farm. There was no place for dresses on the tractor. She supposed that's why she never really thought of herself as pretty. She thought of herself as fit, tough, in shape, and even mean or almost cruel, but _never_ pretty.

"Suck it up! He'll be here any second!" Olivia pulled Jessie to her feet and helped her keep her balance. Jessie wasn't very good at walking in heels. Olivia put her black shawl over her shoulders and handed her a little black bag.

Jessie smiled at Olivia and gave her an unsteady hug.

"Thanks Liv," Jessie gave her a wide smile. "I may be acting like a stubborn terd but I do appreciate this." Olivia hugged her back and giggled.

"I have a feeling Elliot's going to appreciate it just a little bit more."

A few minutes later Elliot buzzed in and Olivia let him up. Jessie didn't know why the heck she was so nervous. It was _Elliot_! She'd been living with the man for nearly a month! She'd slept in the same bed as him every night since the great closet episode! Maybe it was the dress. Or the fact that she hadn't been on a date in about seven months.

Olivia opened the door and let Elliot in and then yelled for Jessie to come out of the bedroom. This is it, Jessie thought, taking a deep calming breath.

She walked into the living room with mock bravado, willing herself to walk steadily in the impossible heels. Jessie was stunned by what she saw standing in the doorway.

Elliot was dressed in one of his best suits (the ones he didn't wear to work) and boy did it make him look _good_! Jessie grinned as she saw the bouquet of red roses in his hand. Roses were her favorite flowers.

"They're beautiful Ell," Jessie said, walking toward the door. Elliot's jaw had literally dropped when he saw her and he was just then regaining his composure. My God, he thought. She's pretty all of the time but she is absolutely _breathtaking_ when she's all gussied up.

"Not even as close to as beautiful as you." Elliot said sincerely. He leaned down and placed a lingering tender kiss on her cheek. "Lets get going. Our reservations are for eight." He said when he straightened back up.

Jessie ran back (nearly rolling her ankle) and gave Olivia one more quick hug.

"He looks amazing! Thank you!" She whispered frantically in her ear and rushed out the door. Elliot gave Olivia a thumb up and then looked toward the ceiling, as if also thanking God, closed the door, and they were off to one of the nicest Italian restaurants in Manhattan.

Elliot and Jessie arrived at the restaurant right on time for their reservation. They ordered their drinks, both sweet tea (Elliot wanted to respect the fact that Jessie didn't like alcohol) and ordered their dinner.

"Elliot, this place is wonderful!" Jessie smiled, taking a sip of her tea. "Thank you for talking me into coming. I'm really glad you did." Elliot grinned.

When they had walked in Elliot felt as if every eye had turned and stared at them. Jessie seemed to be oblivious at how radiant she was. Her beauty wasn't the kind that was outside appearances only. She had something inside her, something extremely unique, and it just made her shine. Maybe it was her strength, courage, empathy, patience, compassion, the list could go on and on for Elliot. Words couldn't describe her! And the funny thing was Jessie was thinking around the same things about him.

"You look amazing." He said softly. "You look beautiful every day but tonight you're just…_glowing_."

Jessie smiled and willed herself not to blush. She wanted to just shrug it off. She just didn't get it! To her, the person she stared at every day in the mirror was nothing special.

"I'm serious Jess," Elliot reached across the table and took her hand, tracing her fingers with his thumb. "You're beautiful."

Before Jessie could even think of anything to say Elliot's cell phone rang. She could tell he didn't want to answer but they both knew it was probably urgent.

"Stabler." He said in a low gruff voice. "_Alright_." He sighed. Jessie sighed also and motioned for the waiter to explain that they had an emergency and had to leave. Elliot hung up the phone, put money on the table, and said he'd explain in the car.

"Alright, what's going on?" Jessie asked when they walked out of the restaurant.

The one thing Jessie hadn't been prepared for when she decided to move to New York was how bitterly cold it was. She hadn't thought to bring a coat. Like I have a coat nice enough to go along with this dress, she thought.

Elliot looked over at her and knew she had to be freezing. He took off his suit jacket and slipped it over her shoulders. She smiled gratefully. They climbed into Elliot's car and cranked up the heat.

"Munch and Fin got a call about a rape. A young woman about twenty. She went through the rape kit fine but when Olivia was called to the hospital to take her to the station she flipped out." Elliot rubbed the back of his neck. "She's at the station now but basically wont talk. Don called. He said he wants you to try to talk to her and calm her down." Jessie nodded.

"Why you?" Elliot asked. Jessie sighed.

"I have a feeling you're about to find out."

Jessie and Elliot arrived at the station in record time. They only got caught up by _two_ traffic jams! Jessie was starting to understand why so many New Yorkers seemed to have a bad case of road rage.

When they walked through the door Olivia was relieved.

"Nothing I saw helps!" She said, running her fingers through her hair and plopping down in a chair. "Did you two get to eat?" She asked.

"Almost." Elliot replied sadly. He'd been looking forward to the chicken he'd ordered.

"Thought so. Fin got you two some burgers." Olivia pointed to the bag on Elliot's desk. He looked at it, _very_ disappointed.

"Where's the girl?" And as soon as the question left Jessie's mouth the door to the interrogation room burst open and an angry woman stomped out, being closely followed by Fin and John.

"You left her alone with those two? Good job!" Jessie said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

"They were our only options till you got here," Don said as he walked out of his office. "Olivia already pissed her off."

"You're damn right I'm pissed off! I want to _leave_!" The woman shrieked.

"Slow your roll okay! Just calm down!" Jessie said a little more rudely then she probably should have.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Detective Jade Harper? And who are you?"

"Angela Hooper." She barked.

"Care to sit?" Jessie said with a mock smile that, if the situation had been different, would had made her laugh.

"You don't look like a detective." Angela said as she sat in the chair Jessie had offered her.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Jessie replied, pulling John's chair over to her desk and sitting in front of Angela.

Jessie opened the file that was sitting on her desk. Angela was cleaned up now apparently because the Polaroid's she was looking at was strikingly different from the girl she saw sitting in front of her.

Angela had jet-black hair and deep brown eyes. In the photo's whatever makeup she'd been wearing was smeared all over her face and the clothes she'd been wearing was coated with mud and torn in various places. She had a nice shiner and a few cuts and scrapes along her arms and her knuckles were cut. This chick had put up one hell of a fight.

"So, I've heard you aren't really wanting to talk to us about what happened?" Jessie tried to keep a professional air about her but it was hard when she was so uncomfortable in that stupid dress! She had never talked to a victim in a dress! First time for everything is right, she thought.

"I just want to go home." Angela whined.

"I understand this is stressful and terrible okay? I know what you're going through, trust me, but I can't help you unless you help me." Jessie pleaded.

Angela remained quiet. By then the rest of the squad had congregated at Olivia's desk and were listening intently, not wanting to miss any details.

Jessie and Angela had come to a sort of a stand off. Both staring at one another with intensity that almost choked them both.

"You fought him?" Jessie asked softly. Angela nodded. "Why fight so hard if you're just going to give up?" Jessie glared at the girl. She realized that this girl was tough. She'd probably been through a lot in her life and her pride was wounded, among other things.

"Do you know what its like to be raped? To be violated? To have your _virginity_ ripped away from you?" Angela yelled loudly.

"Yes! I do!" Jessie yelled back. And the whole precinct got deathly silent. So silent that you could hear cars whizzing by stories beneath their windows.

Elliot stood up, his whole body stiff, trying to comprehend what he just thought he heard. Fin looked at Jessie a bit shakily. Fin knew he and Elliot were both feeling the same things. Horror, anger, disbelief, and an abundant of other emotions Fin couldn't quite identify. It couldn't be, he thought. She'll explain. It can't be what I'm thinking.

Jessie looked over at the five people that were staring her way, giving them confirmation with her eyes. Elliot looked like he might vomit. Fin looked down at the floor and swayed just a bit where he stood only to have John put a firm hand on his shoulder to steady him. John had the look on his face like he'd just heard the saddest thing in his life and Olivia had begun to cry silently.

Don gave her a nod. Not even he knew the whole story. Now they were ready to hear the story and Jessie was ready to tell it. It was time for Jessie to share the story of the worst experience of her life.


	9. Chapter 9 Jessie's Story

**Chapter 9**

"**Jessie's Story"**

Jessie sighed and looked back to the victim that was now staring at her wide eyed as if she had suddenly grown a third eye. _Great_, Jessie thought.

"You were…"Angela almost choked on her words as she said them. Jessie mentally prepared herself and hoped everyone else was doing the same. I just hope their ready to hear this, she thought.

"Yeah… I was raped." Jessie said softly.

"How old were you?" Angela asked. Jessie smiled sadly and thought _here we go_.

"It was seven months ago." She heard a collective gasp from everyone in the room. Jessie visibly flinched.

"Were you a…" Jessie nearly laughed.

"Yep, I was a twenty-five year old virgin, as pathetic as that may sound to some." And then Jessie did laugh. At least I can laugh about it now, she thought.

"I was back in Dallas P.D going to inform a family that I'd just arrested their sixteen year old son for murder. The only reason I went personally is because the kids older sister was a good friend of mine." Jessie shook her head. She never made it to her friend's house that night.

"At first they just hit on me, you know? Being jerky kids." She paused for a moment. "I never knew what hit me. I woke up a few hours later in an old abandoned building. So old that they had nasty dirt floors, broken glass, and rusty nails all over the place." Jessie shuddered as she went on with the rest.

"The two oldest ones, about seventeen, were the only two that did any damage." Jessie caught Angela's eyes and saw the tears running down her face. It was then Jessie wished she could cry, but Jessie never cried. She'd wanted to let herself break down so many times but her pride would never let her. Jessie just _didn't_ cry.

Angela urged her to go on. Jessie wasn't sure if she wanted to hear anymore but Angela let her know she needed to hear this. So Jessie continued.

"The two older guys beat the crap out of me. Handcuffed me with my own cuffs and just wailed on me. Punching, kicking, _whatever_ they could. And they raped me over and over for three days. The third kid was younger, sixteen I think. He wouldn't rape me or hit me so the other two beat the hell out of him too…" Jessie trailed off thinking about the guy that saved her life. She had more sympathy for him then she did herself in the situation. He was so _young_…

"The fourth night the two older guys left the younger one to look after me. He told me that some cop in my precinct had paid the two older guys to kill me and they had drug him along for the ride. Some dirty cop that was tired of me interfering with his drug trafficking plans that he was using the local gang members for."

" The kid found my gun and the keys to my cuffs and let me loose and gave me my gun back. I was so beat up that I couldn't walk… By the time he found the keys to the car it was too late."

"The two guys came back and they saw that I'd gotten loose and that I had my gun. They both drew down at the same time." Jessie chocked on her words. She didn't like this part.

"I shot the first kid right between the eyes. Death was instant. The second guy got one shot off but, lucky for me, he had _terrible_ aim so I got him three times in the chest." Jessie's eyes hit the floor. She'd killed two _kids_… that bothered her more then the fact that she was raped. She could still almost hear the shots ringing in her head.

"The younger kid ran for help and got me a bus and I was in the hospital for two weeks. I never found out what happened to him." Jessie sighed. "He saved my life."

"Did they catch the dirty cop?" Angela asked, sitting on the edge of her seat.

"Oh hell yeah they caught him all right," Jessie laughed. "This is where the story gets interesting." Everyone looked at her strangely. They didn't understand how she could talk about it so lightly.

"I'd been dating this guy, a detective for homicide, named Adam right? Well, I hear from some pals of mine when I get sprung from the hospital that an IAB agent pulled himself off of my case because he had a personal conflict with me." This earned Jessie an over the glasses look from John.

"So I go down to the IAB office to see who had beef with me, you know? Well, guess who was walking out right as I was walking in?"

"No way!" Olivia gasped. Angela was confused. Jessie explained to her about how most cops felt about IAB or "the rat squad."

"Yep, _Adam_! The guy I'd been dating for almost six months!"

"What'd you do?" Angela asked. Jessie flashed an evil grin.

"I let him explain. He told me he'd been undercover IAB since the academy… and then I broke his nose." Don chocked on the coffee he had just taken a big swig of.

"You broke an IAB agent's nose!" John exclaimed. Jessie shrugged.

"He told everyone someone hit him with a door but no one believed him. Needless to say I dumped him and never saw him again." Angela sighed.

"How did you get over it?" She asked quietly. Jessie thought about the question hard before she answered.

"I haven't gotten over it. You never get over things or people that break your heart. I guess rape is more like trying to break your soul. I've moved on but I'll carry those scars on my soul forever." Jessie answered honestly.

"The point is Angela… we're alive. Yeah, life is hard, but that's the point. If it weren't then all the wonderful things about it wouldn't be worth fighting for. In the end it didn't kill us so why let it break us?" Jessie rolled her chair over to Angela and put her arm around the girls trembling shoulders. She'd begun to cry.

"It's a beautiful life Angela. Are you enough of a fighter to keep living?" Jessie felt Angela take a deep breath and then exhale as if pushing all of the horrible things that had happened to her that night out of her mind.

"He was tall. Abnormally tall. Really dark hair and he was wearing glasses…"

Don pulled Elliot into his office while Jessie took Angela's statement. Don sat on the edge of his desk while Elliot paced around the small room, rubbing the back of his neck. Over the years Don noticed Elliot rubbed the back of his neck when he was stressed, worried, or tired. After the story they had all just heard Don was sure he was feeling a little of all the above.

"I haven't been a virgin since high school Don!" Elliot collapsed in a chair. Don couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm sure Jessie understands that a forty year old divorced man with four kids is not a virgin." Elliot shot him a shadowed look.

"I've never taken someone's virginity." Elliot said quietly.

"Never?" Don asked surprised.

"No, never. I married Kathy when I was twenty and she wasn't a virgin. I'd only been with two other girls before her and neither were they."

Don was shocked. A good-looking guy like Elliot, he'd always assumed he'd been something of a Casanova in his younger days, but he'd also forgotten he'd married so young. Jessie's lucky, Don thought. At least she didn't get one of us typical males.

"Cap'n… I just don't know what to say to her." Elliot put his head in his hands and stared at the floor, trying not to let himself get too emotional in front of the Captain.

The most kind hearted, beautiful, wonderful woman he'd met in years had been _raped_. She was _pure_! Elliot never believed that someone's virginity could be taken. It was a gift. Jessie was still a virgin…

"What do I say to her?" Elliot lifted his head and saw Don giving him a sad smile.

"Elliot, just be there for her. I don't think she expects you to know what to say right now." Elliot knew Don was right. He was just so angry! Who could do that to Jessie? To the woman he loved!

"Woah!" Elliot said aloud. Don cocked an eyebrow.

"I love her…" Elliot said in astonishment. "I'm in love." Don laughed.

"I may not be the smartest man alive but even I knew that." He chuckled.

"I can't tell her yet." Don shook his head.

"Now wouldn't be the best timing. Just wait and let her tell you." Don put a friendly hand on Elliot's shoulder. "Come on. Lets get back out there."

After Angela's statement was taken Jessie called Angela's older sister to come to the station and pick her up. Angela left the address and phone number to her sisters place in case they needed to get a hold of her again, which they knew they would. Angela was going to stay with her sister for a little while.

There wasn't anything the detectives could get done that late so they all sat around in silence, eating their cold burgers. Jessie knew the story had come to quite a shock to everyone and understood that they probably weren't sure what to say to her.

"Was there any DNA?" Jessie asked, desperate to break the silence. John nodded.

"All over the skirt she was wearing. This guy wasn't too brilliant."

"No prints though?" She asked. John shook his head. Jessie took a look at Angela's written statement.

"She didn't mention him wearing gloves." She mused.

"Probably didn't notice." Fin pointed out.

"He's careful enough to wear gloves but blows his wad all over her?"

"Its not unheard of." Don said.

"Sounds like a first timer to be and a dumb-ass to boot." Jessie said, taking a final bite of her burger. She'd been starving! Everyone nodded in agreement with her.

John took a fry off of her plate and stole one of her ketchup packets.

"Hey! You've got your own!" She exclaimed.

"I'm hungry!" He whined.

Jessie picked up a fry and chucked it at John, hitting him in the forehead. From then on the tension was lifted as John and Jessie commenced in a miniature food fight.

About half an hour later everyone finished their burgers and the detectives and the Captain decided to call it a night. Fin was driving John home, as he did every night, but this time it was different. Fin didn't make any comments about John needed to find another driver. In fact, Fin was tense and usually quiet.

"Are you trying to strangle the steering wheel?" John asked, giving Fin a concerned look. Fin simply grunted.

"Oh, I get it. Pretending it's the neck of one of the guys who raped Jessie." Fins glanced at John quickly and then back at the road. John sighed, took off his glasses, and rubbed his temples.

"Fin, trust me, if I could I would resurrect those pieces of useless garbage if it meant I could pulverize them beyond recognition and send them back to hell, but I can't." John put a hand on Fin's shoulder. "She's deal with it. She's okay. Now _we_ all have to let it go too, my friend." Fin sighed heavily.

"I know man, I know."

Elliot and Jessie had a quiet ride to Queens. When they arrived home they switched on the television and both cuddled up together on the couch. Jessie knew Elliot had been upset by what had happened to her. She knew that he didn't know what to say.

Jessie snuggled closer to his chest and buried her face in his neck. Elliot wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could without hurting her. He ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again," He whispered. "I'll never hurt you baby." Jessie pulled Elliot into a long passionate kiss. When they broke away Jessie looked into his eyes and smiled.

"I know Ell, I know."

**Authors Note: Uh oh, so everyone knows her secret! But I bet you don't know what's gonna' happen next! Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! I wish I had a few more! Glares at all the people that don't review lol just kidding. Kind of OO…. Well anywho, any pointers ya'll out there have lemme know! I know this ones a little shorter but it was jus to get her story told! Let me know folks-Ali! **


	10. Chapter 10 Merry Christmas

**Chapter 10 "Merry Christmas"**

Jessie and Olivia were walking down the street on their way back to the station house, after using their lunch hour for Christmas shopping. The only time the split up (Jessie would get lost if she didn't stick close to Olivia) was to buy one another their presents.

Olivia got a kick out of Jessie's almost childlike curiosity of the city. A man stood on the corner, preaching about how the end of the world was well on its way. Jessie stood and listened to the curbside preacher for a good five minutes before Olivia pulled her away.

Jessie even got excited about getting a hotdog at a stand they found outside of a shop.

"You're one of the toughest cops in New York but you get excited about a _hotdog_?" Olivia laughed and Jessie smirked.

"What'd you buy the guys?" Jessie asked Olivia on the way back to the station.

"I got Munch a book of poetry by someone I'd never heard of." Jessie cocked an eyebrow. "He needs some hints on sensitivity." Olivia added.

"I got Elliot some new cufflinks in case he wants to try that fancy dinner with you again. Got Casey and George new stationary. I got Fin some cologne he's complained of running out of lately and I got Don what I get him every year." Jessie raised an eyebrow. "A tie and brass polish." Olivia grinned.

"What'd you get everyone?" Olivia asked Jessie.

"I got John the two Blue Collar Comedy Tour DVD's." Olivia shrugged.

"Never heard of it." She said. Jessie laughed and continued with her list.

"I got Elliot a new watch. His is so old that the leather is about to snap. I got Casey a jazz CD I thought she could relax to and George a book on mythology. And I got Fin a blue dress shirt and Don a picture frame _and_…a tie." Jessie smiled sheepishly.

It was three days until Christmas Eve and they set up a small tree in the squad room to put the presents underneath. When Olivia and Jessie returned, Jessie went up to the roof to wrap gifts, and Olivia locked herself into the janitor's closet.

"So, what did _you_ get me?" John asked Jessie as she placed her gifts underneath the tree.

"Like I'm gonna tell you." She replied. John picked up his gift from her and shook it. Jessie slapped his hand and commanded he drop it.

"I _hate_ surprises." John grumbled.

"Tough," Jessie said.

They didn't have any other major cases within the next few days. Just a few open and shut cases and a lot of time for everyone to get their last minute shopping done.

Jessie had a good time helping Elliot shop for his kids. He'd told them he was dating someone but left out a few things… especially the fact that she was only seven years older than his oldest daughter. He would spring that on them when they all met her the week after New Years. That's the date Elliot and Kathy had agreed on so the kids to stay with their father to exchange gifts.

Jessie couldn't help but feel a swell of pride when Elliot signed the gifts _From Dad and Jessie_.

"Am I dressed alright for this?" Jessie asked Elliot nervously. They had to leave in thirty minutes to get to the party on time. Elliot rolled his eyes.

"I'm wearing jeans too. _No one_ dresses up for this party."

"Well I've never been so I don't know how I'm supposed to dress!" Jessie mumbled, pulling on her black boots.

Jessie was dressed in a pair of faded boot cut blue jeans, her black boots, black belt, a white shirt tucked in, and a pink pearl snap as an over shirt. She looked nice but not _too_ nice.

Elliot sat next to her on the bed and kissed her cheek.

"You look great." He said sincerely. This earned him a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

A half hour later they were standing in the squad room laughing and having a good time with their co-workers. Jessie stood off to the side, sipping on her glass of water, when Fin and John (the last to arrive) came through the doors, arguing about something or other.

"Now that everyone's here why don't we open presents?" Don suggested. Every year he got a new tie from nearly everyone in the squad and he was always thankful. He had to wear a suit so much that it was good for him to have a variety.

While Olivia sat on the floor separating gifts according to person, Fin walked over to Jessie to say hi. He was dressed fairly casual, in some baggy blue jean and a nice black shirt. Jessie nearly blushed as she caught herself thinking how hot he looked.

"What happened to your _date_?" Jessie asked casually, taking a drink and casting him a suspicious look.

"Um…well…" He stammered. He was surprised she'd even remembered he was supposed to have a date. "I felt sorry for John so I decided to go stag too. Plus, she and I just didn't click." Fin shrugged. Jessie rolled her eyes and laughed, nudging him with her elbow.

"Uh oh you guys," Jessie heard John say as he started to laugh. "Look who got stuck under the mistletoe." Jessie looked around to find everyone staring at her and Fin.

Jessie and Fin both slowly glanced up at the ceiling, and sure enough, there was the mistletoe tacked to the ceiling. She shut her eyes and shook her head.

"_Shit_," Fin muttered.

"You know the rules. Get to it." Don said laughing. Jessie gave Elliot a desperate look, hoping he would protest. He just smirked, shrugged, and took a drink of the beer he was nursing.

Jessie turned to Fin, leaned up, and kissed him on the cheek. Everyone groaned simultaneously in protest.

"No dice," John said. "Here in this precinct we have a rule about mistletoe. If you're not observant enough not to get stuck underneath it then you must pay the price." Fin knew these "_rules_" all too well, being someone who'd been caught underneath the mistletoe many times.

"I don't kiss in public," Jessie said flatly. "It grosses me out." John gave Olivia and Elliot a questioning look. They both nodded, knowing what he was thinking.

"Fine, we'll allow some privacy, but _only_ if you swear on your badges not to cheat." Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Are we all not adults here? Don't you think this is a tad immature, John?" She asked.

"Even adults have to act like kids every now and then." John pointed out. Jessie couldn't argue. "Interrogation room." John said sternly, pointing the way. Jessie rolled her eyes again and handed Elliot her water.

"You okay with this? _Please_ say you're not." Jessie begged. Elliot laughed.

"Sorry, but I'm fine with it. I've been stuck underneath the mistletoe tons of time and I'm sure I will be again." Jessie glared at him and sulked off toward the interrogation room, Fin close behind her.

Jessie was nervous and she wasn't going to waste energy trying to hide it either. She didn't go all the way into the room, just leaned on the doorframe. Fin leaned against the other side of the door, putting his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Sorta awkward, ain't it?" He mumbled.

"You're tellin me." Jessie kept her gaze on his face as steady as possible.

"Elliot ain't gonna try to kick my ass, is he?" Fin joked. Jessie laughed.

"No reason. It ain't like I'm _his_ property." Fin chuckled nervously.

"Nah, but you are _his_ girl…" Fin looked down at the floor a little sadly.

"Look, we don't have to…well, you know. I wont tell if you wont." Jessie smirked.

"Man, I understand not wanting to kiss me cause of Elliot, but damn, am I _that_ unattractive?" Fin teased but Jessie's eyes automatically hit the floor.

"It's not that Fin…" Jessie whispered. Fin pulled his hands out of his pockets and stepped a little closer.

"Then what?" He asked, his voice low.

"I'm afraid I want to kiss you a little _too_ much then I should…" It was true. Though she was with Elliot, and had been for nearly a month, she still hadn't been able to shake her feelings for Fin completely…okay, at all.

Jessie ran a hand through her shoulder length hair and kept her gaze down. She knew she shouldn't still have these feelings for Fin. She knew it was wrong… but at the same time, she just couldn't let it go.

Jessie saw Fin's feet move and she thought he was going to walk away. Great, he doesn't even wanna kiss me, she thought. But then she saw that he wasn't stepping away…he was moving closer.

Fin stepped closer Jessie. He moved his hands to her cheeks, willing her to look up at him. She nervously moved her gaze from the floor to his eyes. His gentle eyes, she thought.

Fin ran his hands down her neck, across her shoulders, down each arm till he reached her hands, and then laced their fingers together.

Fin was so different from Elliot. Fin was slow, lingering, and soothing to the touch. Elliot's movements were aggressive and sharp. Jessie just felt herself getting lost in Fin's eyes until she saw them close.

Fin leaned down slowly and Jessie closed her eyes too, waiting for contact. He paused and they were so close she could feel his breath on her lips. Finally, she leaned up just a little and closed the tiny gap and their lips met.

Fin's kiss was slow and tender. He couldn't believe how soft her lips were. He moved his body closer to her, as close as he could get, and his hands went to massage her neck, running his thumbs across her jaw line.

Jessie shakily placed her hands on his chest and felt his heart begin to race like she knew hers was also. Fin pulled back just a moment, letting out a shaky breath, and then leaned back in, deepening the kiss right away.

Jessie couldn't believe it was happening. She'd secretly wanted to do this since the first day she laid eyes on Fin. There was just something about him, some spark that they had both shared from the moment he'd chased her up the fire escape. It was something Jessie knew in her heart she wasn't going to be able to make go away.

The kiss seemed to only last a moment and yet forever at the same time. They both just seemed to be lost in one another. When Fin finally pulled back they were both short of breath and lacking words to say.

Fin stared into her eyes for a moment. He'd never felt this way for a woman before. Yes, he'd loved his son's mother at one time, but he'd never felt this pull in his stomach before. He'd never wanted to make someone his so much!

But she wasn't his… she was Elliot's girl. And there he was, holding her captive in his arms. He quickly let go and backed away. Jessie gave him a confused look but he only gave her a fake smirk.

"Damn girl, that's the best kiss I've had all week." Fin said, straightening up a little and then leaning back on the doorframe.

"All _week_?" Jessie cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, what can I say?" Fin grinned. "I just got it like that." Fin knew what he was saying wasn't true. He hadn't kissed a woman in months. He hadn't wanted to till that night.

But it didn't matter because there was no way she was feeling the same way that he was. She was probably just curious. Fin felt like he had to be a jackass to save face.

Jessie glared at him. She could _believe_ what she had just heard! Jessie shook her head and began to walk out of the room.

"You know," Jessie stopped but didn't turn around. "I really thought you were different. Now I think I was right about you when I first met you. You're nothing but a bastard." Jessie spat and walked out of the room.

When Jessie walked back into the squad room, Fin walking slowly behind her, everyone began to clap and whistle. Jessie walked over to Elliot, who put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"So, how was he?" He teased.

"Oh, you know…" Jessie gave a fake laugh.

"Okay, time to open presents." John said excitedly, tossing Jessie a somewhat heavy package that said _From John to Jess_ written in nearly unreadable handwriting on the front.

Jessie mentally shook herself. How _dare_ Fin say those things! After kissing her like that! And making her feel that way! What a _jackass_!

Jessie realized everyone else was ripping open gifts while she stood there, in a daze, staring at John's package. Jessie pulled up a chair next to her designated pile and began opening also; John's being the first.

John had gotten her a book on conspiracy theories by an author she'd never heard of.

"That author is wonderful," John praised. "Funny too." Jessie smiled and thanked him, then opened another random gift.

Within the next ten minutes Jessie had opened a beautiful new pair of earrings from Elliot, a cute dress she'd been eyeing at a thrift store a few days before from Olivia, an extensive map of New York City from George (which Jessie was _very_ grateful for) an address book (that she found had all the numbers and addresses of all her co-workers written inside) from Casey, and a new shoulder strap for her gun from the captain.

Jessie hesitated before unwrapping Fin's, which she'd put off till the last present. Luckily for her Casey wanted to hear her new CD that Jessie had given her, and soon some soft soothing jazz filled the squad room.

Elliot pulled her from her chair. Jessie didn't dance often but she was enjoying being closely held right at the moment. Elliot could make her calm when she was upset or angry. It was because of the firm way he held on to her… like he'd never let her go.

"What're you thinking about?" Elliot whispered. Jessie smiled at him.

"Just how much I love being in your arms." Elliot gave Jessie a small smile and their eyes locked. She leaned against his shoulder and felt a kiss to her forehead.

Jessie will never quite understand why she said it… She wanted to just chock it up to impulse but she had to admit it was something more than just that. Maybe it was because of the rejection she felt from Fin or maybe it was because she truly felt something similar… either way, it was a mistake.

"I love you Elliot." She whispered, so quietly that she half hoped he didn't hear. As soon as the words left her lips she regretted them.

Elliot touched Jessie's cheek lightly. He thought his heart was going to burst. He hadn't wanted to tell her he loved her first in fear of scaring her away… but now he could be open.

Elliot had never met anyone like Jessie. She was truly one unique human being. There were so many qualities that she possessed that were so rare in the world they lived in. He wanted to constantly be with her, to hold her, and protect her. She was the best thing to happen to him since his divorce.

"I love you too Jess."

The couple didn't notice Fin watching them. He glanced at the unwrapped gift still sitting on Jessie's chair. He wasn't an expert but he could read lips well enough to recognize "I love you" when he saw it. He put on his coat and headed for the door.

"Hey, where the hell are you going?" John asked, following him out the door. "You're my ride!" John exclaimed as Fin boarded the elevator.

"Call a cab." Fin frowned, pressed the down button, and the doors closed in John's face.

When the dance ended Jessie went back to her seat and picked up the package, feeling her gut form a knot. She glanced down at it, shook it, and decided it was clothes.

Jessie slowly unwrapped the package, opened the box, and was shocked by what she saw inside.

There, lying in the box was a new blue jean jacket. It still had that department store smell. Jessie felt the inside, which had inside pockets and was lined with fur like material that she thought would be very warm.

"Fin?" Jessie hollered out, looking around the room.

"He left." John said flatly, plopping down in the chair next to her.

"Why?" Jessie asked. John stood up and glanced down over his glasses.

"_Because_," John sighed. "Fin, like the rest of us, can somewhat read lips." And with that john went to go call a cab, seeing as the party was winding down.

Jessie glanced back down at the jacket and noticed something sticking out of the pocket. It was a card. On the front was a beautiful smiling Angel. Jessie gasped as she read what was on the inside.

_To a beautiful Angel. This is the only way I could think of to make sure I could always keep you warm at night. Love, Fin._

Jessie shook her head. Maybe she'd been wrong… No, she thought sternly. You heard what he said! There is _no way_ this card is sincere! You just told Elliot you _loved_ him! There's no turning back now…

An hour later Jessie and Elliot were unloading their gifts from the car and stacking them in the living room. When they were done they both went up stairs to get ready for bed.

"So, what did Fin get you?" Elliot asked, taking off his shirt.

"A jacket." She answered shortly. Jessie turned to Elliot and smirked. He looked _really_ good shirtless. She walked slowly to him and kissed him deeply.

"Wow," Elliot said, his voice husky. "What was that for?"

"Cause, I love you." Jessie whispered, and at that moment, she made herself believe that she meant it.

Elliot gently pushed Jessie toward the bed, expecting her to stop him, but she didn't. He looked into her eyes, her smiling shyly and unbuttoning his jeans.

Needless to say Jessie let Elliot open a _very_ special gift that Christmas Eve.

**Authors Note: Falalalalalala... Heh, Merry Christmas indeed. Anyone else smell major drama about to happen? WELL, within the next few chapters things ought to start taking shape. Thanks a TON to those who have left me reviews and please please please continue to do so! Let me know how you think things are gonna' go!**


	11. Chapter 11 Something More

**Chapter 11 "Something More"**

"Are you sure about this?" Jessie asked from the kitchen.

"Stop worrying!" Elliot hollered from the living room. "There gonna love you!"

"I'm only seven years older than Maureen! She's _not_ gonna like me." Elliot shook his head and hoisted himself off the couch. Jessie had opted to make dinner that night.

"What's that?" Elliot asked, wrapping his arms around her waste and kissing her shoulder.

"Taco soup." She answered.

"You make weird things for dinner in Texas."

"Ya'll kill me with this 'dinner' crap. Sounds too damn formal. This here is supper." Elliot laughed. He loved her accent.

"Maureen ain't gonna like me." Jessie said flatly, turning the burner down to simmer. Elliot shrugged.

"Maureen doesn't like much of anything."

"She'll argue I'm too young." She pointed out.

"Jess, she wouldn't like you if you were a thirty-five year old frump." Jessie figured that was true. Elliot and Kathy had only been divorced for a year. _Of course_ they were going to hate her…especially Maureen. Oddly enough this didn't settle her nerves.

Elliot had just finished setting the table when the back door flew open and four voices yelled "_Dad_!" and rushed in. Lucky for Jessie that the four Stabler kids were so excited about seeing their father that they didn't even notice her in the kitchen.

"Daddy we've missed you!" Elizabeth squealed, leaping on her dads back.

"I missed you guys too sweetheart." Elliot smiled as he felt a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

"Hey dad?" Dicky said after hugged his father. "Who's the lady in the kitchen?" Jessie froze as four sets of eyes fixed themselves on her. She smiled nervously.

"Hi," She said and stupidly waved. Elliot grinned and let his youngest daughter slip off his back.

"Kids, I'd like you all to meet Jessie Harper, my girlfriend." Jessie smiled.

"Hi Ms. Harper!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "My name's Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Lizzy."

"Well hi Lizzy." Jessie came out of the kitchen and walked nervously into the living room. "You can call me Jessie."

"This is my oldest Maureen." Elliot put his arm around the tall blonde standing next to him.

"Ell, I know who they are. I've seen all the pictures." Jessie laughed. "You're Kathleen I take it." Kathleen was a little shorter than her older sister, her hair a lighter blonde, and blue eyes. Jessie noticed Kathleen looked more like her father than Maureen.

"Dad," Maureen's tone was sharp and defiant. "Did you adopt someone without telling us? She can't be much older than me." Elliot glared at his oldest.

"Very funny Maureen." Elliot said. Jessie blushed.

"You're right. I'm twenty-six." Jessie said evenly. Maureen's face turned a bright red and her jaw set. Well, she may not look like Elliot, Jessie thought, but she sure does act like him.

Kathleen didn't look thrilled either but she was more visibly calm than Maureen. Kathleen figured if her dad was happy then she could be happy too.

"What's that wonderful smell?" Lizzy asked, her eyes lighting up. Jessie smiled.

"I made something special for supper. Are ya'll four hungry?" Dicky and Lizzy nodded their heads wildly. Kathleen shrugged and Maureen just glared at her.

The kids took their things to their rooms and Elliot brought the pot of soup out of the kitchen and placed it in the center of the table.

"What is it?" Maureen asked in disgust.

"It's called Taco Soup." Jessie said flatly. Elliot could tell Jessie's patience with his daughter was running thin.

Elliot filled his bowl and everyone followed suit. Elliot took a hesitant bite. It smelled good but smells can be deceiving. But the second the soup hit their tongues he was pleasantly surprised.

"Jess, this is amazing!" He praised, eating another spoonful. Dicky and Lizzy had already begun to dig in. They agreed with their dad, Taco soup _was_ amazing!

Kathleen was the next to try. "Wow," She said. "This is really good Ms. Harper. Thank you!" Jessie smiled.

"You're welcome, and please, call me Jessie." Kathleen smiled back. Maureen ate silently, not willing to admit that Taco Soup _was_ pretty good.

"So, where'd you come from anyway?" Maureen asked, not looking up from her bowl.

"I'm from Texas." Jessie answered as calmly as possible. Jessie had lots of patience when it came to certain things, but not bratty, snobby, rude kids who thought they were cute.

"Oh, that explains the hillbilly accent." Maureen said, looking up to give Jessie a fake sweet smile. "I bet you had never even been in a city before."

"Actually," Jessie dropped her spoon with a clank. She'd had just about enough. "I worked as a detective in the Dallas Police department, one of the largest cities in Texas. I worked with dangerous people everyday. Cruel gun slinging, drug dealing, murdering gang members." Jessie's voice kept rising and rising. "So _don't_ jack with me kid."

Maureen's glare broke and she actually looking a bit frightened. "And one more thing! I'm a red neck! Not a hillbilly! Believe it or not there _is_ a difference!"

There was a long stretch of silence before Maureen had the courage to speak.

"What's the difference?" She asked, her voice small but curious. Jessie smiled and for the rest of supper (dinner) Jessie explained to the Stabler kids the huge differences in being a red neck and being a hillbilly.

The rest of that night went without incident. The kids opened their gifts and gave their gifts to their father. Lizzy felt bad that she hadn't gotten anything for Jessie so she instrumented her father to share his presents.

For the kids benefits Jessie and Elliot slept in separate beds for the first time in weeks, though Elliot did sneak into her room to kiss her good night. He made her feel like a teenager again.

The next morning, before the kids left, Jessie and Maureen had a quick talk. Maureen apologized for being a snot and told her to take care of her dad. Maureen even _hugged_ Jessie goodbye!

"Wasn't that bad, was it?" Elliot asked Jessie that night while they were laying in bed.

"Not after Maureen mellowed out." Jessie laughed. Elliot kissed her shoulder and Jessie rolled over.

"I missed you last night." Elliot whispered.

"Well, I'm here now." Jessie smirked, kissing Elliot gently. They were about an hour late for work the next morning.

Things were stressed at work. The days were going by so quickly; Jessie barely noticed that it was already almost February. Elliot's kids came by a few more times within the next three weeks, Lizzy begging for more Taco Soup.

Jessie and Elliot seemed to of fallen into a comfortable routine… or at least comfortable for Elliot. Jessie was constantly haunted. Every time she told Elliot she loved him she felt guilty and unsure. When they made love the image of her kissing Fin would come into her mind.

She was in constant battle with herself to block Fin out. Since their mistletoe incident Fin and Jessie stayed away from one another. Fin no longer asked her to ride along with him to go get food or coffee. Truthfully, Jessie and Fin didn't speak unless they were working on a case. This tension didn't go unnoticed to the other detectives…_especially_ Elliot.

"So what's the deal with you and Fin?" Jessie gave him an annoyed glance. They had just walked through the back door after a long stressful day at work.

"There is no _deal_." Jessie said, taking off the jacket Fin had gotten her for Christmas. She looked at the jacket for a few fleeting moments (moments that Elliot noticed) and shook her head. She went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

"Why wont you talk to me about it?" Elliot asked, trying to wrap his arms around her waste. Jessie shrugged him away and leaned against the bar.

"Because there ain't nothing to talk about!" Jessie exclaimed.

"You two talked a lot before Christmas." Elliot pointed out. Jessie simply shrugged and took a drink of her water.

"Things change." She said flatly.

"I think he's got a thing for you." Jessie put her drink down on the counter and walked angrily out of the room.

"Drop it Elliot." Jessie yelled, stomping up the stairs. Elliot followed her.

"And you know what I think?" Elliot yelled. Jessie went into her room and slammed the door, but of course, a closed door wasn't going to stop Elliot. He stormed in and Jessie just sat on the edge of her bed, glaring daggers at him.

"You know what I think?" Elliot repeated. Jessie just looked at him. "I think you've got a thing for him too."

And that was when Jessie lost her temper.

When Jessie lost her temper she didn't lose it like most people did. Jessie stayed quiet and usually tried to get as far away from whatever made her so angry in the first place.

When Jessie was in high school she got into a fistfight and nearly sent another girl to the hospital. From then on she used the "walk away" method as a way to control her extremely bad temper.

Jessie got her duffel bag out of the closet and looked in her closet carefully. What should I wear tomorrow, she thought? Jessie found a pair of jeans and a nice shirt and then stuffed them into her bag.

She got some clean underwear, socks, makeup, and her toothbrush. She made sure to grab her cell phone and the address book Casey had given her for Christmas.

"Where the hell are you going?" Elliot asked. Jessie ignored him and called a cab. "Jessie, you don't know your way around the city!" She continued to ignore him.

Jessie double checked her bag to make sure she'd have everything she'd need for work the next day. She made sure she had her badge and then headed down the stairs. She got her shoulder strap and gun off the coat wrack and put it on and then put on the jacket that Fin had gotten her, and then she headed out the front door.

Elliot followed her out onto the front porch, yelling at her as she got into the cab. "Jessie, this is stupid! You don't know where you're going!" Jessie turned back to Elliot and just shook her head. She got into the cab and gave the driver the address. Little did Elliot know, Jessie knew exactly where she was going.

John was sitting comfortably in his lazy boy, reading a book, and nursing a cup of tea when his cell phone rang.

"Damn it, I hope they ain't callin us in." Fin grumbled from the couch. He'd came over to John's after work (after going home to get a change of clothes). He hadn't wanted to go home and be alone that night. So there he was, watching a football game and drinking a beer, relaxing and trying to keep a certain female detective off his mind.

"Munch," John said irritated.

"John?"

"Jessie? Are you okay?" Fin looked up and glanced at John in semi-panic.

"Yeah, I'm home. Why?" John waved his hand in Fin's direction so Fin would relax.

"Do you have company or anything?"

"Well yeah, sorta…"

"Are you busy? Like, having sex?" John made a sour face.

"It's Fin."

"Answer the question!"

"Jessie!" Just then the doorbell rang. John was mumbling something about smart ass's when he opened the door and saw Jessie standing in his doorway. They both shut their cell phones and put them in their pockets.

"Can I crash on your couch tonight?"

John ushered Jessie in and shut the door.

"Are you alright?" Fin asked, putting down his beer and standing up. Jessie was a bit surprised to see him there, and for a split second thought about leaving, but then decided not to. She didn't really have anywhere else to go…

"Do I look that bad?" Jessie cocked an eyebrow. John and Fin shook their heads and Fin took her duffle bag and put it next to his own. John's apartment was a refuge for the lonely and pissed off.

Jessie didn't look like she'd been crying but she did look upset. When she was upset or sad Jessie had this look about her. She didn't cry but everyone could always tell when she wanted to.

"Me and Elliot got into a fight." Jessie mumbled. She plopped down on John's leather sofa and looked around the room.

John's apartment was somewhat a nice size for just one person. The living room was spacious with a nicely sized window, leading out on to a balcony. The room had a large bookcase overflowing with books and newspapers. Jessie would bet her life savings that John had read every single book on his bookcase.

"Have you eaten?" John asked in an accusatory tone, glancing at her from over his glasses. Another thing John noticed about Jessie was she didn't eat when she should. Jessie shook her head guiltily.

"Chinese it is." Said Fin, pulling out his cell phone. Jessie raised a questioning eyebrow. "What? I got the take out number on speed dial." Jessie rolled her eyes but smiled a little. Fin smiled back and commenced ordering their late supper.

A half-hour later Jessie, Fin, and John were laughing over some rice and sweet and sour chicken.

"So you've actually _tipped_ a cow?" John asked curiously.

"Yeah, it's fun. Illegal, but fun." Jessie flashed a devious grin.

"Why is it illegal?" Fin asked, taking another spoonful of rice. John glared at him. "I'm a growing boy." Fin said in his defense. Jessie giggled a little.

"In Texas it's not smart to mess with someone's cattle. It's a good way to get shot though, if you're suicidal." John and Fin both looked at her like she was insane. She sighed. "Cattle is worth a lot of money. Money is important on a farm or ranch. You can kill a cow when you tip it over."

John and Fin gave a collective "Oh," and Fin reached for more chicken. John slapped his hand with a chop stick.

John and Fin made for the perfect partnership. Both witty and stubborn, they were a perfect match. Jessie felt a wave of homesickness. She missed having her own partner. Yeah, having everyone as partners was fun, but she still missed having that one person, that one best friend, that you could always lean on.

I guess I should feel lucky, Jessie thought. Whenever I get pissed at one I'll always have someone to go to.

"So, wanna talk about the fight yet?" John asked when conversation came to a stand still and the food was gone. Jessie shrugged.

"Elliot was being a jackass." She mumbled.

"Well that's nothing new. What got him started this time?" Fin asked. Jessie laughed dryly.

"_You_." She said to Fin. Fin raised his eyebrows in surprise. "He thinks you have a thing for me. I told him he was nuts. I mean, apparently you date lots of woman, so why would you have a thing for me?"

John started to laugh hysterically. "You haven't had a date in months!" John said in between chuckles. Jessie turned her stare sharply to Fin. That son of a bitch!

The room went deathly silent. John could tell he'd just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Oh well, he thought.

"Well kids, I'm off to bed! Jessie, just use the throw blanket that's on the back of the couch. Take a shower if you want." John said, pointing to the bathroom door. "Fin, you get to sleep on the floor."

John exited the room with a bit of a smirk. Now that Jessie knew that Fin was full of it then maybe this was just the opportunity Fin needed to confess his feelings to Jessie.

Jessie picked up her duffel bag and stormed into the bathroom. She took a quick shower, brushed her teeth, and changed into a pair of pajamas. By the time she came out she was a bit calmer.

Fin had changed into a baggy t-shirt and just his boxers. Jessie decided to ignore him. She lay down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. She closed her eyes, but she couldn't get the fact that Fin was laying on the floor directly below her out of her mind.

She peaked down and saw that he was laying there, his hands behind his head, with no blanket or pillow, and was just staring at the ceiling, unaware of her attention. Jessie decided to take pity on him. She wadded up the blanket and threw it on his face. He jumped in surprise.

Jessie rolled over so that her face was facing the back of the couch. She was almost surprised to feel Fin lay the blanket back over her. He let his hand touch her cheek gently. Jessie felt herself shudder.

Fin lay back down on the floor with a groan. I'm getting old, he thought. No sooner as he lay back down did the blanket come crashing back down onto his face. This time he threw it back at her. This continued for a good five minutes before Jessie gave in.

"Fine, but at least take a damn pillow!" Jessie snapped, slapping him in the face with a throw pillow from the couch.

"Fine!" Fin said back, putting the small pillow underneath his head. And then they both busted out laughing. Jessie turned over and peered down at Fin.

"You're an ass." She said seriously.

"I know." Fin said quietly.

"You never had a date for Christmas." Fin shook his head. Fin leaned up on his elbow with one arm and attentively reached for Jessie's hand with the other.

"I'm sorry." Fin said sincerely. "I didn't want to look pathetic because I didn't have a date." Jessie rolled her eyes.

"That's stupid! I didn't have a date either!"

"Yeah, but you were new and I just didn't want you to think I was fishing for a date."

"So you assume _I_ wasn't the one fishing for the date?" Fin raised his eyebrows and nearly fell over in surprise.

"Were you?" He asked. Jessie shrugged.

"It doesn't matter now." She muttered. Fin sat up and moved closer to Jessie, who was still lying down. He kept a hold of her hand and ran a shaky finger across her jawline with the other.

"It matters to me." He said, his voice low.

"Why did you say what you said Christmas Eve?" Jessie blurted out. She couldn't lie and say that she hadn't wondered that so many times.

"Because you're Elliot's girl and…" Fin shook his head and looked at their hands.

"And what?" Jessie whispered. She wasn't sure if she was ready for the answer but she _had_ to know. Fin looked into her eyes and Jessie nearly gasped at the intensity of his gaze.

"And I wished you were mine so bad that it hurt." Fin whispered. Neither moved. Neither dared to let out a breath.

"Don't have sex on my couch!" John yelled from his room. Jessie and Fin both laughed. Leave it to John to break an awkward silence.

"You're just jealous cause you can't let laid on your couch!" Fin yelled back, still laughing.

"You're right. I get laid in my bed!" John retorted.

"Shut up Munch!" Jessie and Fin yelled collectively. They both looked down at their hands. Their fingers were still strongly linked together.

"We should get some sleep." Jessie mumbled shyly. Fin nodded. Jessie lay down and shut her eyes. A moment later Jessie felt a feather light kiss on her cheek.

"Good night." Fin whispered in her ear. He then laid down and a few minutes later they were both fast asleep…and still holding hands.


	12. Chapter 12 Lucky

**Chapter 12 "Lucky"**

The next morning Jessie woke up on the floor, the blanket messily spread out over her and Fin. She woke up with her head resting on his chest and his arms gently wrapped around her.

What the hell happened last night, Jessie wondered frantically? It took her a few seconds to remember where she was and why she was there. Oh yes, Elliot the stubborn jackass, she thought wryly.

"Good morning." Jessie jumped at the sound of Fin's voice.

"Yep, sure is." She muttered, snuggling closer to him. Jessie knew she'd regret it later, but at that moment, she didn't care.

Jessie glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall. She had to squint because it was still dark outside. She groaned.

"It's five O'clock!" Fin chuckled.

"I wonder if John's up." Fin's wondering was quickly subsided by a bright flash of light right above them.

"The ultimate blackmail." John cackled and waved the camera at Jessie and Fin. Jessie began to laugh hysterically. John was standing in front of her in nothing but boxers.

"You have a tattoo of a pot leaf!" Jessie howled, standing up quickly, fully prepared to wrestle the camera out of his cold dead fingers.

"You tell _anyone_ I will blow this picture up to the size of a poster and hang it on Cragen's door." John threatened, pointing the camera at Jessie. Quicker than lightning Jessie snatched the camera out of John's hand and snapped a picture of him, tattoo and all.

"Likewise," Jessie said with a smirk.

The three detectives took turns in the bathroom, Jessie taking the longest due to trying to straighten her hair and put on makeup.

"Finally!" Fin said when Jessie emerged from the bathroom. She rolled her eyes.

"I never understood why any of my ex-wives even bothered with that makeup crap." John mused as he locked his door and they headed toward the parking garage.

"You apparently don't know much about woman period or you wouldn't have so many ex wives." Fin quipped.

The ride to the precinct was a long one. They got stuck in traffic so that gave Jessie plenty of time to mull things over in her mind. The night before she'd gotten into a spat with Elliot. A spat over Fin. She left, went to John's, where she spent the night in Fin's arms. In another mans arms, she thought. Was that considered cheating? Of course it was! She just spent the night cuddled up to a man that was _not_ her boyfriend!

At least we didn't kiss, she thought, trying to make herself feel better. It didn't work.

"Penny for your thoughts?" John asked, turning around from the front seat, giving her an over the glasses glance, his face shadowed by the brim of his hat. Fin gave her a questioning look through the rear view mirror and then looked back at the road. Traffic had finally started moving again. Jessie sighed heavily.

"I'm just not looking forward to seeing Elliot." She mumbled. Fin nodded his head.

"Me neither."

It was a few minutes after seven when the trio walked into the precinct.

"Where the hell were you last night?" Olivia blurted out from her desk. Jessie cocked an eyebrow and took off her jacket, laying it on top of a pile of papers on her desk.

"Good morning to you too." Jessie said wryly.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Olivia demanded, standing up and putting her hand on her hip.

"It was on silent." Jessie replied coolly.

"You spent the night at John's?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Elliot was worried sick!" Olivia exclaimed. "He tried to call John _and_ Fin but they didn't answer either." Olivia shot John and Fin an accusatory look. Fin raised his hands.

"I turned mine off." He said defensively.

"So did I." John said. "Jessie is a grown woman Olivia. She doesn't have to answer to you. John added.

"Harper, my office, please." Don said, sticking his head out of his office. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but she has to answer to him." Olivia said smugly.

"Ya'll need to stay out of my damn business." Jessie said to Olivia and then walked into Cragen's office.

"Do me a favor and next time you get pissed at Elliot and leave, call someone and let them know where you are." Don said, sitting in his chair.

"John and Fin knew where I was." Jessie tried to hide a smile. Don glared at her.

"Cute," He grumbled. "But Elliot couldn't get a hold of them either." Jessie rolled her eyes.

"I'm a big girl Captain." She said, turning to leave.

"Yeah, and even big girls go down in the big city. You should know that Jessie." Jessie turned back to Don and took a deep breath.

"Next time this happens, and I'm sure there will be a next time, I'll be with either John or Fin." She said, and walked out the door.

As soon as Jessie shut Don's door she sighed and shut her eyes when she saw Elliot sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Don't even start Elliot." Jessie growled, walked over to her desk and sitting in her chair.

"Don't start? I was up half the night!" Elliot shouted, jumping off her desk and glaring at her.

"Elliot, chill out man." Fin said quietly, giving Elliot a look as if he were crazy. "She was safe with us."

"_Us_?" Elliot turned back to Jessie. "You spent the night with John _and_ Fin?" Jessie rolled her eyes.

"Our job and our relationship is going to stay separate Elliot." Jessie said, her voice stern and final.

"It is separate!" Elliot snapped.

"Not when you make a scene in the middle of the damn squad room!" Jessie muttered, trying to keep her voice down, glancing around the room to see who all was witnessing their little spectacle. Luckily, the only people who were paying any attention to them were Olivia, John, and Fin.

"Listen," Jessie sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't want IAB coming down on us so lets just save this for later, okay?" Elliot couldn't argue. He huffed a little but agreed to leave it until they could talk in private.

The rest of the morning went by without incident. Elliot did his best to ignore Jessie and Jessie likewise ignored him. Every now and then Fin would flash Jessie a secretive smile and she couldn't help but return it.

"You seem to be in a good mood." Olivia commented. Jessie knowingly smiled.

"Yeah well, I slept pretty good last night." Olivia raised an eyebrow but didn't have time to say anything because Cragen came rushing out of his door.

"We've got a situation people." Don rattled off an address. "Girl called 911 frantic, saying she's been beaten and raped. The guy is still in the neighborhood as far as anyone knows. All five of you get on it." Elliot wrote down the address and everyone grabbed their coats.

When the arrived on scene they found a woman in her late twenties lying bloody on the floor and barely conscious so they called a bus. Jessie found the situation somewhat familiar. Olivia decided to be the one to ride along and get a statement and make sure the rape kit was done.

Fin, Elliot, and John were preoccupied talking to CSU so Jessie decided to have a look around the back yard.

The neighborhood was a closely-knit community of older (but nice) homes, all close together and fenced in. All of the backyards that were visible seemed to look the same to Jessie. That's what she hated about suburban areas. Everything looked the same.

Just then Jessie thought she heard a muffled cry coming from the house next door. A guy was checking their victim's back yard for evidence also heard the noise.

"Go tell the other detectives to get over there!" Jessie said quickly. The guy mumbled something about having to bag something and that he would go as quick as he could.

Jessie made a mad dash for the house next door. She jumped the fence and ran up to the back door. She listened at the door and heard a woman pleading with someone.

"Please don't! No!" Jessie didn't waste any time. She kicked the back door in, pulling the chain locks clean off the wall, and rushed in.

Before she had time to pull her gun she was elbowed in the mouth, sending her flying out the back door. Jessie got off the ground quickly, her lip bleeding but otherwise unfazed, to come face to chest with a very tall muscular white guy with a tattoo on his neck. Great, she thought. She wasn't _too_ worried. She'd tangled with guys this size or bigger before.

Jessie ducked a punch, feeling the wind off the swing, and dead legged the guy. She knew her best chance was to hit his pressure points. He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pushed her face up against the tall wooden fence. That's when the heard Fin yell her name. For some reason this gave her a sudden burst of energy.

Jessie elbowed her attacker as hard as she possible could in the breath bone but was pulled down with him when he fell. He barely missed striking her in the face but instead landed a hard fist to her rib cage. He hit her over and over in the ribs until Jessie could barely breathe. And that's when she got pissed.

Jessie let out a frustrated pained cry and wriggled from the guys hold, pushing him off her with her foot in his chest. And then she kicked him as hard as she could in the face and then her right fist connected with his jaw in the same place her foot had and she heard a loud pop.

A second later Elliot grabbed the guy and he and Fin got him on the ground and cuffed him, Fin getting a few smacks in. By then John had made sure the woman inside was all right and had also come to her aid.

John kneeled down beside Jessie, who pointed to her stomach, and he lifted up her shirt and touched her ribs gently. She winced.

"They might be broken." John said softly.

"I'm fine," Jessie said through gritted teeth. "Just help me up." John nodded and, as gently as possible, pulled Jessie off the ground. She clutched her stomach.

"Son of a bitch hit me hard." She muttered. John smiled sadly. "How's the lady inside?" Jessie asked.

"She'll be alright. He'd only started to try to…well…you came in the nick of time." John lead Jessie through the house and out onto the front of the house where a bus was loading their second almost victim.

"You need to have those ribs checked out." John said seriously.

"Maybe later." She said. She saw Elliot putting the guy in the back of a squad car and then he and Fin walked over to the front porch where John and Jessie were standing.

Jessie leaned on a pillar and clutched her stomach as a wave of pain hit her.

"Jess, come on, we're takin you to the hospital." Elliot said with a tone of finality. Jessie didn't have the strength to argue. The bus had already pulled out so the guys decided to drive her.

John called Cragen to fill him in. Don said to keep him posted on how Jessie was doing and to fill him in when they got back to the precinct.

Jessie sat in the back seat with John while Fin drove and Elliot sat in the passenger seat. Jessie told the guys what had gone down.

"Why didn't you wait for us?" Elliot asked gently. Jessie felt a pang of guilt. He looked a cross between extremely angry at the perp and worried…and scared.

"There wasn't time. I heard her scream and I just bolted. It all happened so fast…" Jessie shook her head and leaned on John's shoulder. John put a gentle arm around her, not wanting to hurt her.

"It only took us, like, a minute to get over there." Fin said, his voice full of guilt and anger. To Jessie it all had been in what seemed like a blink of an eye.

"Your lip's cut." Elliot reached into the back seat and touched her face gently. Jessie saw Fin flinch at the intimate touch that Elliot was giving her and that made Jessie flinch.

"I'm sorry! Did that hurt?" Elliot pulled his hand back quickly. Jessie couldn't even smile. She was sore and achy and on top of all that…she felt guilty. It was easier to not feel so bad about what had transpired between her and Fin when Elliot was acting like a prick.

"You sure were holdin your own with that guy." Fin praised, diverting Jessie's attention. "You deserve props for that. It took me _and_ Elliot to take that guy down." Jessie smirked at this. It was true. Jessie was fortunate to come out of that with a few sore ribs and a bloody lip.

"I think I broke something in his face." Jessie said, remembering the loud pop she'd heard after kicking and punching him. Her right hand was also throbbing; she just hadn't noticed the pain before because of her ribs. "I hope I didn't break a finger." She muttered.

When they arrived to the emergency room Olivia was waiting for them.

"They had to wire our perps jaw!" She exclaimed, not even noticing the fact that Jessie almost had to be carried in. "This guys attorney is pissed! Who tuned this guy up?" She asked the three men in an accusatory tone. Jessie just looked at Olivia, Elliot and Fin steadying her by holding on to her underneath her armpits.

"I did it." Jessie said flatly.

"The guys huge! No way!" Olivia shook her head in disbelief. John took a hold of one of Jessie's shoulders so Elliot could go talk to a nurse about Jessie seeing a doctor.

"Jessie's hurt." Fin said softly, sending Olivia a sharp glance.

Fin and John ushered Jessie to a sweat. John then filled Olivia in on the events that took place after she left.

"You mean to tell me Jessie fought a guy that size and made it out _alive_?" Olivia went wide-eyed.

"I've fought bigger." Jessie mumbled. She laid her head down on Fin's shoulder and he put his arm around her.

Fin was pissed. He should have gotten to her sooner! He ran his fingers slowly through her hair. Thank God she's okay, Fin thought. I don't know what I'd of done if… Fin mentally shook himself. He didn't want to think about what might of happened to her if they hadn't of gotten to her when they did.

Elliot came over with a wheel chair and Fin and John helped her into it. Only Elliot was allowed in the examination room with her because he was listed as an emergency contact, as was the Captain.

"You three ought to head back to the station." Jessie said, gripping Fin's arm and giving it a light squeeze, so quickly that Elliot didn't notice.

"No," He shook his head. "It wont take that long and that asshole attorney can wait." Jessie smiled weakly and was then wheeled away.

"Well, your ribs aren't broken, but bruised very badly." Doctor Radly said, looking over Jessie's x-rays. "Your lip will heal fine. No stitches needed. You may have a scar though." Jessie grinned.

"Battle scars." She muttered.

"You've been hurt before, I see. Your back has a lot of scar tissue and your knees…" The doctor rubbed his chin. "Your knees are hopeless. You're much too young to have these injuries."

"I'm a detective. I'm lucky I'm not dead." Jessie said flatly.

A few minutes later Jessie was given some pills for the pain and sent on he merry way with a firm warning to take it easy.

"So, how did you hurt your back?" Elliot asked on the way back to the station.

"Two hundred pound drug dealer threw me up against a brick wall a few times."

"Damn," Fin said, shaking his head. "You've taken some punishment."

"Yeah," Jessie mumbled. "I'm lucky to be alive!"

Jessie stared out the window, watching the pedestrians walking down the sidewalk. Jessie wondered what horrors they had experienced. If they were aware of all the terrible things that were out there, would they even get out of bed?

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Elliot asked from the front seat. Fin was driving and Jessie was in the back with John and Olivia.

"Just sore." Jessie mumbled, trying to smile.

"You'll feel better once you get those pills in you." John consoled. Jessie just gave a grateful smile.

Jessie looked around the car and saw four people that truly cared for her very much, two that may of very well loved her, even though they hadn't known her for very long.

"I really am lucky to be alive." Jessie said. Fin looked at her through the rear view mirror and he gave a small smile.

"Yeah, me too."

**Authors Note: Heylo everybody! I wanna say thanks for all the reviews! D, you gave me an awesome idea and I'm so using it for chapter 13! And I'm warning everyone, chapter 13 is going to be a major turning point in the story, so you don't want to miss it! Keep up the awesome reviews! –Ali 3**


	13. Chapter 13 Only One Night?

**Chapter 13 "Only One Night?"**

"I want off ass duty!" Jessie yelled at Don's back as he was walking into his office.

"You can be off _desk_ duty when the doctor says you're okay to be back on the streets." Don yelled back, went into his office, and shut the door.

"Old balled headed tail…" Jessie mumbled under her breath. It had been a little over two weeks since her trip to the hospital and she was getting restless. Her ribs were still sore (even though she tried to pretend they weren't) and the cut on her lip healed up and left behind only a tiny scar. All in all, she was just plain bored!

Jessie leaned back in her chair and glanced over at John, his head buried in a newspaper. She then glanced over to Fin who appeared to be up to his elbows in paperwork. Jessie smirked as an idea came to mind.

Jessie wadded up a piece of paper and threw it over at John, nearly knocking his newspaper out of his hand. Before he could catch her, Jessie picked up a pen and pretended to be working on something. She glanced up to see John glaring at her.

"Don't look at me. I didn't do nothin." Jessie said, playing innocent. John threw the ball of paper and hit Fin on the side of the head. Fin turned slowly to John and then nailed him right in the middle of his forehead with the ball.

"Ouch!" John grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"You started it!" Fin said smirking.

"Bull, you started it!"

"No way old man, you hit me first!"

"No…"

"Alright children!" Jessie exclaimed laughing. That's when it clicked with the two male detectives on who had actually started the paper war. Fin and John struck Jessie with a barrage of paper and didn't stop until Elliot and Olivia came through the door, looking rather glum.

"What's up?" Jessie asked, still laughing. They didn't stop or answer her, just kept walking and went into Cragen's office. A few minutes later Olivia motioned them all into his office.

"Fill them in." Don said with a tinge of anger in his voice. Olivia leaned against the filing cabinet and Elliot was leaning against the two-way mirror.

"On our way back here we heard a call on the scanner. A couple were beaten, the woman raped, and both killed in their apartment." Elliot sighed.

"This is the third similar case in the past two weeks that this guys done." Olivia added.

"Why didn't we catch it before this?" Fin asked.

"Gang division caught it." Elliot said. Jessie perked up.

"Did they tag the place?" She asked, rubbing the back of her neck, her mind already at work.

"Yeah," Olivia scoffed. "With a swastika." Jessie turned to John and Fin who were both looking at one another.

"All three couples have consisted of a black male and a white female." Elliot said, reading the information off his note pad.

"We got this case handed to us because first off, they think it may be the work of one perp now and not some white premises group," Olivia glanced at Jessie. "And they heard we had Jessie on our squad." Jessie cocked an eyebrow.

"Apparently our Gang division wanted you when you left Texas. You're famous with their rookies." Elliot said and Jessie smirked.

"Any forensics?" Don asked. Elliot nodded.

"Prints and seaman on all the victims. Gang division already ran them and our perp hasn't been collared for anything because his prints and DNA aren't in the system."

Fin sighed. "So, we're after a racist raping prick. My favorite."

"Jessie, do you think John and Fin should keep a low profile?" Don asked. Fin immediately began to protest.

"Nah, I don't think so. It doesn't seem to be the work of a group." Jessie scratched her chin. "Were these crimes committed in the same area?" She asked.

"All three couples were seen eating a diner across the street from their apartment buildings." Elliot answered.

"All lived in the same square made up of four small apartment buildings." Olivia added.

"Sounds like the work of one person." Jessie mused. "He's on some holy purifying kick. When we catch him we're gonna need George in here. He's using the swastika to cover his ass and make it look like a group operation. Guys not too bright cause if it were a neo-nazi type thing then they wouldn't just operate in one area and just against black and white couples." Jessie shook her head. She loved it when a perp was soft in the head. "He'll strike again, I'm sure of it. He thinks it's a sin for races to mix and he thinks its his job to rid the world of this type of sinners."

"I don't understand what some people think is so wrong with outer racial dating." John said with a heavy sigh.

"I saw racism a lot back home. Some people say its in the Bible." Jessie replied.

"I've never seen that and I went to a Catholic school." Elliot said.

"Me neither. It was always an issue my father and I disagreed on." Jessie muttered. "Anyway, I say we get an undercover couple in there." Jessie said to the captain.

"I agree," Don said standing up. "I want you and Fin. We'll set you up in an apartment facing the diner and have cops there to nab the guy when he tries to get into your room. You two will get a mini vacation."

Fin and Jessie glanced at one another nervously. Me and Fin spending the night together in the same apartment, Jessie thought? Not good. Definitely not good.

"Don, Jessie's ribs aren't completely healed and I just don't think…" Don cut Elliot's protest short.

"Elliot, Jessie's one of the best and so is Fin. I want them in there. They both have gone under cover several times. Plus, all they are gonna have to do is eat, act lovey-dovey, and sleep." Don gave Elliot a firm look. "Is that a problem?" Jessie stepped in before Elliot could answer.

"No problem sir!" Jessie smiled. "Fin and I can handle this."

Jessie was excited. She loved undercover work. It gave her a chance to tap into different parts of her personality and basically live someone else's life. Only, this time, Jessie had a feeling she wasn't going to be doing much acting.

"Alright, you two go home and gather what you'll need for a night. When you come back everything ought to be taken care of." Don said, clapping his hands, and assigning the three remaining detectives each a job to do.

Jessie and Fin went to his apartment first. It was small but very clean for it to be a bachelor pad. He had nice leather couches and a worn in recliner in the small living room. Jessie was envious of his wide screen television and entertainment system.

Jessie noticed a calendar hanging in the kitchen and it was then that Jessie realized what day it was.

"Ha! Its Valentines Day!" Jessie informed Fin when he emerged from his bedroom.

"Wow, I didn't even realize." Fin said. They left Fin's and began the drive to Jessie's.

"I'm sorry you have to spend Valentines Day with me." Fin murmured. They had just left Jessie's and Fin felt completely deflated. He hated looking at their house. The house that she and Elliot shared.

"Why would you be sorry?" Jessie asked in surprise. Fin shrugged.

"I just figured you would want to spend tonight with Elliot." Jessie glanced out the window.

"I'm relieved to be getting away from him if you want to know the cold hearted truth." She said sadly. Fin gave her a questioning look.

Jessie was confused about Elliot and counted her bruised ribs as a blessing. She'd been using them as an excuse not to be intimate with him. The truth was that ever since spending the night at John's apartment Jessie found it impossible to get Fin out of her mind.

Jessie made a decision right then and there. She would put Elliot out of her mind, just for one night, whether it was wrong or right, and just let herself _be_ with Fin. No matter the consequences, Jessie said to herself. No matter what I'm gonna let myself be happy… even if its just for only one night.

Jessie shook her head and smiled at Fin. "I'm glad I get to spend tonight with you Fin." Jessie gave his arm a squeeze.

"Me too." He whispered. "Me too."

Back at the station Jessie and Fin got their new I.D's and apartment keys.

"Ya'll work fast." Jessie said, looking at her undercover I.D.

"Leah Williams," Jessie sighed. "I kind of missed that name."

"Who the hell came up with the name Wilbert?" Fin growled and then glared at John, who was giggling like a schoolgirl.

"I'll call you Will." Jessie giggled along with John.

"Is _that_ what you two are gonna wear to dinner? We made sure you two have a table." Olivia asked, eyeing Jessie's somewhat baggy jeans and Fin's suit. "If I were you Jessie, I'd dress up a little. Fin, dress down." Olivia suggested.

Jessie smirked, grabbed her duffel bag, and headed to the bathroom. She had just the right outfit in mind and luckily she'd thought to bring it along.

Jessie took her time getting ready. She had a little over two hours before she and Fin had to be at the diner. Jessie made sure her makeup was perfect and that her hair was doing exactly what she wanted. When she looked in the mirror she grinned. Hopefully she'd get a good reaction from the guys, but she was really hoping for Munch and Cragen to notice her. If I can get those two's attention then I'll get the attention of our perp, she thought.

Jessie took a deep breath before walking back into the squad room, which caused her ribs to sting just a little. She wasn't used to dressing that way so she was a little nervous. She pushed open the door, held her head high, and walked as confidently as she could into the squad room.

Jessie was wearing the tightest pair of jeans that she owned and a very tight button up shirt that showed _a lot_ of cleavage. She wore a pair of old brown boots, and to top it off, she put on her old straw cowboy hat.

When she walked through the doors everyone in the squad room stopped and stared. Jessie walked into Don's office, where Elliot, Olivia, and John were congregated along with the captain. Fin had gone to take a quick shower and change clothes.

"So, is this okay?" Jessie asked as she walked through the door. Olivia's eyes went wide. She glanced at the three men in the room and burst into laughter.

"Apparently its perfect!" Olivia giggled. The jaws of all three men dropped simultaneously.

"Why don't you dress like that more often?" Elliot asked, finally finding himself able to form words.

"Because it would be a distraction." Jessie replied curtly.

"You look…uh…oh to hell with it." John stammered. He stood up and shook his head, running a hand through his hair, willing himself not to look anymore. Don just shook his head.

"Right, um, where the hell is Fin?" Don said, cracking his knuckles and doing his best to divert his eyes elsewhere.

At that moment Fin came through the door. He was dressed in a pair of baggy blue jeans and the blue dress shirt that Jessie had given him for Christmas. Their eyes met and they were both stunned. Jessie's breath actually caught in her throat. She couldn't put her finger on it but he just looked _so good_!

Fin had never seen her in that tight of clothing so, of course, he was taken in by her physical appearance, but there was something else… She had this glow of excitement around her. She wanted to spend this time with him and she could see that in her eyes. At that moment Jessie wanted him as much as he wanted her. This is gonna be an interesting night, Fin decided.

Don filled Fin and Jessie in on the game plan. They were to go to the diner and act like a normal couple. There would be another under cover cop in the diner to get a fix on their perp. His job was to watch out for anyone who was paying too much attention to Jessie and Fin. Elliot and Olivia would be in an apartment a few doors down from Fin and Jessie. John volunteered to be in the apartment next door surveying the hallway. They would cuff the guy as soon as he touched the door knob.

"We wont do anything with the guy till in the morning so you two can just relax and sleep tonight." Don said.

"Hardly seems fair." John muttered.

"Makes you wish you were black instead of Jewish right now, don't it?" Fin taunted.

Jessie glanced over at Elliot, who had a very sour look on his face.

"Alright people lets move. You two get to the diner and have a good night. Harper, how do your ribs feel?" Don asked, nearly pushing them all out of the door.

"There a little sore but I'm alright Cap'n." She replied.

Jessie and Fin gave there over night bags to John so that he could put them in the apartment. Jessie took a few minutes to talk to Elliot while Fin spoke to John about something.

"I'm sorry I forgot about Valentines Day sweetheart." Elliot said sincerely. Jessie giggled.

"Its okay. I forgot too."

"I don't like this." Elliot muttered. Jessie just smiled.

"It'll be a piece of cake. Just save the interrogation for me alright?" Jessie gave Elliot a quick kiss on the cheek and motioned for Fin. Fin gave John a slap on the back and grabbed his coat. They made sure their badges and guns were in their bags, Jessie put on her jacket, and they were off to dinner.

"Are they putting surveillance in our room?" Jessie asked quietly after the waiter took their order (they decided to just order dessert) and brought them their iced tea. Fin shook his head.

"I made sure to ask John before we left." Fin replied.

Fin and Jessie were both a little nervous about spending a night together.

"When we walked in just about every guy in this place turned around to check you out," Fin grinned, reaching across the small table and took Jessie's hand. "I gotta admit that I was a little jealous. Jessie smirked.

"I saw some chicks glance your way a few times but I ain't jealous." Fin raised an eyebrow. "If anything their the ones who should be jealous cause you're with me tonight." Fin leaned back smiling and Jessie would swear that she saw his head begin to grow two sizes.

Jessie glanced around the room quickly. She noticed a middle aged balding guy dressed in dark clothing sitting in a corner booth and glaring very hard at she and Fin. Jessie decided to test the guy… and have a little fun with Fin.

Jessie turned Fin's hand over and traced the palm with her point finger. She gave him the most seductive look that she could muster.

"I can't wait to get you back to that apartment." She said softly. Jessie knew the guy in the corner couldn't hear her but she wanted to say it anyway. Fin grinned from ear to ear and locked their fingers together.

"He's in the corner." Jessie smiled while she talked, her lips never moving. Fin knew better then to turn around and look. Jessie barely glanced his way but it didn't take long to see the extreme distaste on his face.

"So," Fin leaned forward, his voice low and sexy. "Did you really mean you couldn't wait to get me inside that apartment or did you just say that fir his benefit?" He asked, running a finger across her jaw line. Jessie cocked an eyebrow.

"He can't hear a word we're saying." Jessie smirked devilishly.

"Wanna skip dinner?" Fin said, almost foaming at the mouth. Jessie laughed.

"We just ordered dessert and I ain't giving that up," Jessie leaned foreword and whispered "No matter how good the sex will probably be."

A few minutes later Jessie and Fin were feeing one another chocolate covered strawberries and receiving ever more dirty looks from the guy in the corner.

"I'm surprised he ain't shot us yet." Jessie giggled.

"I'm surprised Elliot ain't busted in here." Fin chuckled. Jessie frowned slightly and leaned back in her chair.

Jessie had done a good job at not thinking about Elliot. In truth, she'd been so captivated with Fin that she'd nearly forgotten all about the fact that she was supposed to be in love with someone else. I do love Elliot, Jessie yelled at herself in her head. Don't I? Yes, Jessie had grown to love Elliot very much…but could she possible love Fin too?

Jessie gave Fin a look of longing. She wanted to kiss him again so badly that her body actually ached.

"You ready to get out of here?" Jessie whispered shyly. Fin nodded silently and called for the check.

When they paid and rose from the table Jessie noticed that the guy in the corner followed them out of the diner. Outside, Fin wrapped an arm around Jessie's waste and Jessie did the same. She liked feeling like Fin's girl.

The guy from the corner followed them to the apartment and watched them go inside. If Jessie hadn't been looking for someone tailing them she probably wouldn't of noticed. Jessie knew the guy would probably go back down to the diner or sit on a bench in the square and watch the window of the apartment. They were relatively small apartment buildings so it wouldn't take a genius to figure to figure out which window was there's and he undoubtedly memorized their room number. It was just a matter of time.

When they entered the apartment, shut and locked the door, Fin's cell phone rang. It was Elliot.

"You two just get some sleep and we'll handle the rest. Tell Jessie I love her and I said goodnight." Fin mumbled an okay and hung up the phone. Fin and Jessie hadn't bothered to turn on the light. The lights from the city gave the room a hazy glow, akin to moonlight.

When Fin turned around he saw Jessie gently touching the silky petals of the roses that were sitting in a vase on the coffee table in the middle of the modest living area. She was glancing at the card. Fin frowned.

"Elliot told me to tell you he loved you and goodnight." Fin mumbled but Jessie seemed to ignore his comment.

"So, this is what you were talking to John about earlier, huh?" Fin smiled slightly.

"You deserved _something_ on Valentines Day." Fin whispered.

Jessie walked slowly toward him. She looked beautiful in the soft glow of the city. Every curve painfully outlined and made very apparent to Fin. She smiled the smile that made him go weak at the knees. She took off her hat and tossed it onto the couch.

Jessie didn't say a word. She simply walked up to Fin, took his hand, and began pulling him across the room. Fin followed her through a door that held a king sized bed with a canopy type thing hanging over it. Very romantic, Fin thought.

Jessie stopped at the edge of the bed and hesitantly turned to Fin. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. Fin raised a shaky hand to her cheek and gently moved her face till it was tilted toward his and their eyes met.

The intensity of his stare made her gasp. Jessie smiled as she saw the love for her shine through. It was that moment that she knew he loved her. He didn't have to say it. She just _knew_. Fin smiled back and tucked a strand of wild hair behind her ear.

"Jessie…" Fin breathed her name, as their faces grew closer. A second before their lips met Fin moved an inch and tenderly kissed her cheek. His kiss moved to her ear and the heat from his breath sent chills through her.

"We don't have to do this." Fin whispered into her ear, pulling back. His hands were now slipping their way up the back of her shirt and running over her spine, pulling her closer to him.

Jessie didn't have to voice any kind of permission. She ran her hands slowly up Fin's chest and over his shoulders, slowly slipping off his coat. Fin shrugged it off and Jessie took off her jacket and piled it on top of Fin's jacket. Jessie then pulled Fin into an earth-shattering kiss that they had both been longing for since Christmas.

A few hours later, Elliot was pacing the floor of the cramped apartment he and Olivia were in. Olivia leaned back in her chair and watched.

"You're more entertaining than Oprah." She chuckled. He glared at her and she sighed. "Elliot, Jessie and Fin are not doing anything!" Olivia tried to reason. Elliot sat next to her with a clunk and ran his hands through his short thinning hair.

"I haven't felt like this about a woman since I met Kathy." Elliot divulged. Olivia put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Fin cares about her. I can see it in the way he looks at her… he looks at her like I look at her. I just cant help but wonder…" Olivia interrupted.

"Elliot, look!" She shrieked and pointed at the monitor they had been watching. The guy from the diner was coming down the hall.

"Lets go." Elliot said, pulling his gun and the two detectives rushed out the door.

Jessie sat up with a start when she heard the commotion out in the hallway. She pulled the sheet up to her neck self-consciously. She felt Fin snake an arm around her middle and pull himself up. He kissed her shoulder and pulled her back down with him, her giggling.

"Think they need our help?" Jessie asked.

"Nah, even Munch could of taken that skinny ass nazi wanna be." Fin replied groggily. He ran a lazy finger up and down her arm and gently kissed the back of her neck, grinning when he felt her shiver.

"What's gonna happen Fin?" Jessie whispered. Fin's brow crinkled and he sat up on his elbow, leaning over Jessie and turning her face to his.

"What do you wanna happen?" Fin asked, gently caressing her still flushed cheeks. He pushed a few strands of sweat soaked hair out of her face. Jessie sighed and sat up again, pulled up the sheet to cover herself. Fin grinned. He htought it was cute that she was shy about her body even though she had no reason to be. She was perfect as far as he was concerned.

"Its just too damn complicated." Jessie mumbled. Fin sat up and took Jessie's face tenderly into his hands.

"We don't have to know everything tonight. We'll just wait it out and see what happens." Jessie leaned over and kissed Fin gently. "It'll be okay baby, I promise you. We'll find a way to be together." He whispered.

They made love into the early hours of the morning. Finally, two hours before their alarm would ring to take them back to reality, Jessie and Fin let themselves drift off to sleep.

**Authors Note: WOOOOOOO! Who else is as excited as I am! What will happen? What should happen? Let me know what you all think! D, I love you so much for the Valentines Day idea! I didn't want to emphasize it too much because, hey, their detectives. They all prolly forgot all about it! But still, great reason for her to get it on with Fin. Romance in the air and all. So, I want reviews, lots of them. Opinions, the whole 9 yard! Any Elliot fans, I dearly apologize! Love always!---Ali **


	14. Chapter 14 Trust So Fragile

**Chapter 14 "Trust so Fragile"**

"Jessie, calm down baby." Fin said laughing. She'd been fidgeting nervously ever since they left the apartment building.

"I'm afraid there just gonna _know_. Like, we're gonna smell like sex or something." Jessie muttered while popping her knuckles. Fin reached over for her hand and kissed her palm.

"It's a good thing we took a shower this morning." Fin replied.

"Fin, we had sex in the shower!"

"What's your point?"

Jessie and Fin shared a fleeting kiss in the elevator before entering the squad room.

"You're late." John said as they sat down at their desks. Jessie glanced over at John.

"Bite me." She said smiling. John chuckled and rose from his chair.

"You two look relaxed." John pointed out accusingly. It was true. Both Jessie and Fin were comfortably leaned back in their chairs, Fin's arms resting behind his head, and Jessie's feet propped up on her desk.

"We slept well." Jessie replied coolly. John walked past her and patted the top of her head.

"Yeah, uh-huh, right. Save that bull for Elliot, k? I know you two better than that." And with that John poured a cup of his morning tea and didn't say anything further on the matter.

A few minutes later Elliot emerged from the captain's office and made his way over to Jessie.

"Hey sweetie." He bent down and kissed the top of her head and handed her a case file. "His name is Jerry Sutherland, he's nuts, and he's all yours." Elliot walked off, leaving Jessie to mull over the file.

The next few months went by quickly. Jessie went back to the doctor and was told she was all healed up, so she was taken off desk duty. This was a blessing and a curse for Jessie. She couldn't use her ribs as an excuse not to be intimate with Elliot.

Jessie hardly even told Elliot that she loved him anymore. How could she when she wasn't sure if it was true? Elliot chalked it up to the stress of the job. In the past few months the five detectives worked several stressful cases that caused them all to pull a few all niters. Jessie slept in the crib for the first time but she quickly realized that she would rather sleep at her desk. The mattresses were lumpy and smelled of an odd mixture of must and Lysol.

Jessie began going out on more cases and working closer with Fin and John. It wasn't only because it was a way for her and Fin to spend some time together but she enjoyed working with them. She felt like she connected well on a personal and professional level with John and Fin more so than with Elliot and Olivia.

Jessie worked on the streets with the undesirables for so long that her way of getting things done was very different from Elliot and Olivia so she usually just stuck with John and Fin.

Jessie was also getting to know Fin well. They would sneak up onto the roof of the precinct and talk about their lives. They confided in one another, shared their fears, and their hopes for the future. Jessie and Fin made the most of these rooftop rendezvous because they came few and too far between for their liking. They could only go when they knew they wouldn't be missed and that wasn't often.

It usually ended with John calling one of their cell phones and telling them that someone was looking for them. John was thrilled to see that everything was going according to his plans. If things kept progressing he would have the bet won!

Fin and Jessie did speak quite often about where their covert relationship could possibly go. Jessie suggested just telling the truth but they both knew that wasn't going to cut it. Any scenario that they could think of always ended in disaster so they decided to wait it out until an opportunity presented itself.

Jessie was hoping that it would be soon. The deceit was really getting to her. Jessie hated lying and going behind everyone's backs. Elliot had been so good to her! Hell, when she was gonna sleep in the freaking station he offered her a home! And here she was, going behind his back with another man!

Jessie knew it was wrong but she couldn't help herself. She felt like she was falling in love with Fin but she couldn't be sure. She just didn't know if it was possible to love two people at once… and if she did, how was she supposed to make that choice? How could she choose between the two?

Jessie was walking down the hallway going toward the squad room when strong arms grabbed her from the side and pulled her into a supply closet. She started to yell and make a wild swing till she heard Fin's voice laugh and tell her to calm down.

"You jackass!" Jessie said and swatted Fin in the chest. Fin grinned and leaned in to give Jessie a tender kiss. Jessie was content there in Fin's arms…till she took a deep breath.

"This is what we're reduced to! Stealing moments in a closet that smells like dirty mop water!" Jessie exclaimed, pulled away from Fin, and ran a hand through her hair.

Fin's brown crinkled and he tried to reach out for her but she shrugged him away.

"Baby what's wrong?" Fin asked. She turned her back to him. He ran a hand through her hair and touched her shoulder. Jessie took a deep breath and turned back to him.

"I can't keep this up. The lies are killin me Fin." Jessie said, her voice cracking with emotion. Fin felt his stomach knot up.

"Do you not want to see me anymore?" Fin asked, taking a gulp of air, preparing for the blow he assumed was coming. Fin was in love with Jessie. He'd known that well before Valentine's Day. Fin had never told Jessie so and she'd never told him if she loved him but Fin was sure she knew. He loved her and of course he wanted to still see her, even in secret, but he could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke his heart. He didn't want to be the source of her pain.

"Fin no! I mean yes, I still want to see you!" Fin let out the breath he'd been holding. "But we have to tell Elliot soon." Jessie added.

"You know that's gonna get ugly." Fin reminded her.

"Ob, I know… but we can't keep this up much longer." Jessie began to pace. "I cheated on Elliot! The man gave me a home! Someone you've known for years! Don't you feel just a little bit bad?" Fin grabbed Jessie by the shoulders to stop her pacing. He touched her cheeks gently till she would look at him.

"You make it sound dirty." He said.

"Dishonestly is dirty." Jessie whispered.

"Jessie, we made love. No, I don't like lying and I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I'm not gonna apologize for making love to you or for how I feel about you." Fin said with a sense of finality in his voice.

Jessie smiled. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life." Jessie muttered. She wasn't used to words of endearment. She'd never been one for showing much emotion and Fin knew this. He knew it took a lot for her to voice her feelings and that made the words mean all the more.

"I was gonna say the same thing." He murmured and pulled her into a kiss.

A few minutes later they walked into the squad room together as if nothing had happened. They were laughing about something or another till Jessie saw Elliot sitting on the edge of her desk…reading the card Fin had given her at Christmas time.

"Uh-oh." Fin said under his breath. Jessie didn't move. All the muscles in her body tensed up as anger filled her body.

Whenever Jessie was in a bad situation she tended to get angry. Okay, whenever Jessie as in _any_ situation her first reaction was anger. Where most people would cry Jessie would just get pissed off. Her instinct told her to get mad and that had often gotten her into trouble.

Elliot put the card down and calmly looked up. John was sitting tensely at his desk. He looked over at Olivia and cocked his head toward Cragen's office. Olivia understood and rose slowly from her desk and went into Don's office.

"You need to get out here." Olivia said urgently. Don rose from his seat.

"What's going on?" He asked, walking around his desk.

"I think Elliot and Fin are about to at it."

"Cause of Jessie?" Don asked with a sigh. Olivia nodded. Don shook his head and followed Olivia out his door. Anyone with eyes could see how Fin looked at Jessie and vise versa. Don wasn't surprised that Elliot had finally wised up; he knew it was just a matter of time.

Olivia and Don came out in time to see Jessie march over and snatch the card off her desk.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Who gave you permission to go through my desk?" Jessie yelled, whacking Elliot on the side of his head with the card. Elliot stood up stiffly, never taking his eyes off Fin. Fin was standing close to Olivia and the captain, glaring hard at Elliot, just daring him to make a move.

John stood up and walked over to Don.

"Maybe we should get Elliot's gun." He suggested. Olivia looked over her shoulder to Elliot's desk.

"It's on his desk." She said. Fin reached into his jacket and handed his gun to John without a word.

"I was looking for some paperwork on the Sutherland case and I found that." Elliot took a step for Fin but Jessie shoved him back.

"Don't even think about it. Fin ain't done nothin wrong. You got been with anyone its me." Jessie said heatedly. Don knew he should step in but it was somewhat late and they were the only six in the office, so if they were going to clear the air he wanted it in a controlled environment where they wouldn't get arrested.

"Why'd you hide the card from me?" Elliot asked, glaring down at her.

"Because I knew you'd act exactly like this!" She fired back.

"Is there something going on between you and Fin?" Elliot asked in an accusatory manner.

Jessie knew this was her chance to come clean, but as soon as she was about to open her mouth, she looked into Elliot's eyes and knew she couldn't do it. She couldn't crush him like that… plus, he would possibly try to kick Fin's ass!

"You're such an asshole Elliot." Jessie turned to walk away but Elliot grabbed her arm. That was when Fin stepped up.

"That's enough Elliot!" Fin shouted.

"Fuck you!" Elliot said and dropped Jessie's arm.

"You ever grab me like that again you better be prepared to lose that arm." Jessie growled. Elliot glared down at her.

"Answer my question!" He shouted. "You screwin him? Are you just another stupid slut!"

Before Don or John could grab him Fin started for Elliot.

"Don't even step to her like that man. You know she ain't no slut!" Fin yelled. Elliot stepped up to Fin till they were toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye.

"You bangin my girlfriend? Go ahead, admit it. Be a man." Elliot said, his voice low and threatening.

"It was just a card." Fin said.

"Bull shit!" Elliot yelled. Jessie tried to grab Elliot but she was too late. He took a swing at Fin but Fin ducked and landed a hard right to Elliot's jaw. He staggered back and Jessie grabbed his shoulder.

Jessie was a strong woman but not strong enough for a pissed off ex-Marine. Elliot jerked away and went for Fin, who was being held back by Don and John. He stopped when he saw John let go of Fin and rush past him.

Elliot turned and saw John picking Jessie up off the floor slowly. Fear nearly paralyzed him.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" Elliot stammered.

Jessie got to her feet and was more embarrassed than anything. She'd gotten thrown off balance when Elliot jerked his arm and had tripped over her own feet. She didn't have time to break her fall with her arms and hit the floor face first. She hit the floor hard enough that it had knocked her loopy for a few seconds and had made the room spin.

"You're bleeding." John said. Jessie touched her face and ran a hand across her left eyebrow and it stung. She'd cut herself along her brow line when she fell on it. She winced and muttered something about being incurably clumsy and let John lead her over to his desk. Don waited for Fin to relax before letting him go.

Elliot stood up straight, his hands on his hips, breathing hard. He rubbed his sore jaw.

"Nice right hook." He muttered. Fin almost laughed. "I'm sorry man." Elliot said to Fin. "I over reacted." Fin nodded. The guys shook hands.

"That was too easy." Don whispered to Olivia. "Something else has got to happen."

They walked over to take a look at Jessie's head. Elliot was hovering around her, telling her over and over how sorry he was. She got aggravated and shoved him away.

"I fell on my own! My fault! Stop touching me!" She yelled. John and Elliot held up their hands and back away slowly, leaving Jessie sitting in John's chair. Don laughed.

Fin dare go near her in fear of causing more trouble. It hurt him to not be able to try to take some of the pain away. He hated seeing her hurt. Why hadn't she just told Elliot the truth?

Fin filled a zip lock bag full of ice and handed it to Jessie.

"Does it look like I need stitches? Gosh, I'm so freaking clumsy!" Jessie asked frustrated. Fin glanced at the cut and shook his head.

"Just a scratch." He said and walked over to his desk. Jessie wanted to call out to him. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She should of just told Elliot the truth! She felt horrible. This is enough, she thought and stood up.

"Elliot," She sighed. "We need to talk." Fin jerked his head toward her. She's gonna do it, he thought excitedly!

As she rounded John's desk she got a little dizzy. She steadied herself on John's desk, accidentally knocking a piece of paper off his desk. Elliot rushed to her side and held her up by her elbow. She smiled. Elliot bent down and picked up the piece of paper, glancing down to see if it was something important.

"Elliot, no!" John yelled and nearly ran forward when he realized what piece of paper Elliot had picked up. But it was too late. Elliot had found John and Olivia's contract for the bet.

Elliot looked over at Olivia in shock and handed the paper to Jessie. She read the contract and thought that she might just faint.

"Fin, come here." Elliot said. Fin motioned for Olivia and Don. Don may be trying to hold Fin, Elliot, and Jessie off Olivia and himself.

Fin looked at the paper and then looked at John as if looking at a stranger. John had pushed him and pushed him to make a move on Jessie. He'd been the one who convinced everyone to give them "privacy" on Christmas Eve. John even played look out for the two! John had pushed Fin to act on his feelings. If he hadn't of Fin would of never crossed the line to try to take another mans girl.

"Elliot, let me explain…" Olivia tried but was cut off by a wave of Elliot's hand.

"Did you know about this?" Jessie asked Fin.

Jessie felt like her whole world had come crashing down. Since the first day she'd arrived she'd been a pawn in a plot for Olivia and John to find their partner's a girlfriend. Fin glared at Jessie.

"Hell no! You think I'd do that to you!" Jessie just shook her head and stood up.

"You," Jessie pointed at John. "You used me." Her voice shook with anger.

"No! It wasn't like that!" John stepped toward Jessie.

"I was just the stupid ignorant country girl who wouldn't know any better than to fall for the first person to pay any attention to me, huh?" She screamed. John sighed. What could he say? Isn't that what he'd hoped for?

"Jessie, I'm so sorry. Its not like that anymore."

"I _trusted_ you!" John looked at the ground.

"_You_ trusted him? He's _my_ best friend! How you think I feel?" Fin yelled.

Don read the contract and sighed. "You two are idiots." He said.

Elliot had remained silent through the ordeal. He couldn't wrap his mind around Olivia playing on his vulnerability to win money. Olivia knew how hard Elliot had taken his divorce better than anyone! She knew if she pushed him just a little that he would fall in love all too easily because he was basically starved for companionship.

Jessie looked over her shoulder to Elliot. He looked so hurt and betrayed. She'd been used by total strangers…Fin and Elliot had been used by the people they knew. The people they'd grown to love and trust with their lives every day! And Jessie had grown to love and trust them too. And in turn Jessie betrayed the man she was supposed to love most of all because John wanted to earn a quick buck. She knew Fin would of never acted on any feelings unless John had pushed him. Hell, maybe John even pushed the feelings on him…

Before Jessie could stop herself she slapped John so hard that his face jerked to the side. Jessie then turned and quickly left the room and practically ran down the hallway.

Elliot turned and went the opposite way of Jessie. He really just wanted to be alone. Fin ran after Jessie when Elliot had left the room, leaving Don, John, and Olivia alone in the squad room. John's cheek was throbbing and Olivia was on the verge of tears.

Don sighed heavily and bawled up the contract that he was still holding. "I hope you two realize what you've done." He said, his anger apparent. He went into his office and slammed the door behind him, silently praying that this wouldn't cause the complete destruction of his squad.

"How are we gonna fix this?" Olivia asked John, half sobbing. He put an arm around her and let her cry into his chest.

"Liv, I don't think we can this time."

Jessie walked down the hallway, not really knowing where the hell she was going. She wanted as far away from John and Olivia as she could possibly get. She heard footsteps running up behind her.

"Elliot, baby, I love you more than anything, but right now you need to give me some space." Jessie turned around to see that it wasn't Elliot.

Fin stopped cold in his tracks when he heard what Jessie had just said. "I knew better than this shit." He muttered, turned around, and started walking the way he'd came.

"Stop!" Jessie said. He kept walking. "Fin, please!" Jessie pleaded. He stopped and stopped there while Jessie ran to catch up to him. Jessie stood in front of him, willing him to look at her.

"Fin, I thought you were…"

"Yeah, I know what you thought!" He snapped.

"Please don't be like this." Jessie was on the verge of tears but she pushed them back, but not before Fin saw the water in her eyes.

"You can't even show emotion even when you think I'm gonna leave you." Fin said coldly.

"I don't cry." Jessie said, narrowing her eyes, her voice hard as stone.

"Tell me you love me." Jessie looked at him in shock. She hadn't expected this… "Go ahead! You be the first to say it! If you love me then just say it!" Fin said, his voice rising.

Jessie opened her mouth and found no words would come out. She tried but she just couldn't. Everyone was so angry and hurt… how could she just further her betrayal? Wouldn't telling another man that she loved him be the ultimate betrayal to Elliot?

"That's what I thought." Fin pushed past Jessie and walked away from her, leaving her leaned against the wall. Her knees buckled and she slid down the wall and pulled her knees up to her chin. She felt like she'd just let the best thing to ever happen to her just walk away… but she still couldn't cry.

Elliot found her there on the floor almost thirty minutes later. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her. They sat on that cold floor for over an hour just holding one another and being together. Jessie treasured Elliot at that moment. She kept whispering to him how sorry she was. Elliot thought she meant about the card. He had no idea…. Elliot was all that Jessie had left. She wasn't about to let him go.

**Authors Note:'( how sad! I know, everyones going to throw things at me. Well, this is one of the last chapters folks. I think we have about three more to go after this so I would totally appreciate your support and reviews! Love ya'll-Ali**


	15. Chapter 15 Mud and Blood

**Chapter 15 "Mud and Blood"**

Jessie hated being in the squad room. She always felt like she was choking. The silence was enough to make her feel claustrophobic. The squad was divided and Jessie like it was all her fault. And it was _so_ confusing!

Jessie wasn't speaking to Fin, John, and Olivia. Only Elliot and Don. Fin wasn't speaking to John, Olivia, or Jessie. Only Elliot and Don. Elliot wasn't speaking to John or Olivia. Only Jessie, Fin and Don. John and Olivia tried talking to Fin, Elliot, and Jessie, but finally gave up. They were only speaking to each other and Don.

Don was the non-biased party who told them all who they _had_ to speak to because the only way to engage them all in conversation was to have them work on a case together. They didn't let their bickering get in the way of their jobs. What they did was far too important.

So Olivia and Elliot were still partners as were Fin and John. Jessie resumed her role as the somewhat floater and went wherever Don thought she needed to go and would often go with her himself on a case.

Jessie had to admit that she often felt quite out of place though. She'd entertained the thought of transferring to Gang division more than once. Gangs would more than likely jump at the chance to have her on their squad.

She'd often confided in Don about these thoughts but Don was always quick to remind her that what she was doing there at SVU wasn't just for her. It was for all of the victims who she'd helped and the people that she'd possibly saved by bring a perp to justice.

"Now that you're here I honestly don't think this unit could function without you." Don said truthfully. They were sitting on a bench in a neighborhood park eating hot dogs from a cart a block away. Jessie was addicted to those things despite what derogatory comments Munch had made about them being made out of cat. Munch always has to find _something_ to gripe about, Jessie mused.

"Ya'll functioned just fine before I got here." Jessie replied while wiping some ketchup off her face. Don had relish, mustard, ketchup, and jalapenos on his. Jessie's hot dog looked puny with only her ketchup.

"Maybe so," Don said, his mouth still partly full. "But you brought a certain kind of spark to this place. A little country to this city. I'd really hate to see that go." Jessie rolled her eyes.

"What is it with you New Yorkers? All of yah talk with yah mouths open!" Jessie said, mimicking a New York accent. Don laughed and swallowed.

"Well I'm sorry little lady! I guess us city folks weren't brought up with your manners and Southern charm!" Don in turn mimicked her accent. Jessie giggled.

"I reckon I have to stay with SVU. What would you do without me?" Jessie teased. In the past month that the squad had been out of sync Jessie and Don had become friends of sorts. Jessie looked up to him. She saw many qualities in the captain that her father had possessed and that brought her an odd sense of comfort.

"I would be lost!" Don said dramatically. "But I wouldn't be the only one." He added. Jessie smiled.

"Yeah, I don't think Elliot could go on without me." Jessie rolled her eyes. "Every morning Elliot asks me where his badge is. And every morning it's in the same place. His coat pocket." Don chuckled.

"Yeah, Elliot would miss you, but he wasn't who I was talking about." Jessie cocked an eyebrow. "Fin would be a little shy of devastated if you were to leave." Jessie frowned.

"He'd be glad to see me go. Hell, he'd pack my desk up for me and send me packin." Jessie said with a little more sorrow than she had intended.

Don sighed and turned to Jessie. "I may be old but I ain't blind. I saw the way you two looked at one another and the way you still look at each other when you think no ones lookin." Jessie almost jumped in surprise.

"But Elliot…" Don cut her short.

"Elliot's dumb when it comes to you. He can't see what everyone else does. Even Olivia saw it. She just wanted Elliot to be happy so she pretended not to."

"Olivia and John just wanted to win a damn bet." Jessie said angrily. By then the pair had finished their hot dogs and were walking along a path that circled the park.

"I know that's how it seems but its only partly true." Don said. Jessie grunted. "Olivia and John saw something special in you the second they met you. We all did!" Jessie stopped and looked up at Don, tilting her head like a confused puppy.

"You've got a glow about you Jess. John and Olivia saw it right away and instantly knew you were perfect for their partners. They knew you would open Fin and Elliot up. And they were right."

Jessie shook her head. "But I hurt them both." She muttered, looking at the ground. "Elliot just don't know…" Don smiled sadly.

"I knew you did a little more than sleep on your little Valentines Day undercover operation." Don smiled mischievously. Jessie snapped her head up.

"How the hell did you know?" Jessie exclaimed. Don laughed.

"I could of easily put in another couple. In fact, that would had been more orthodox than sending two of my detectives into a room to "sleep" if you catch my drift." Don winked. "John and Olivia weren't the only two doing some matchmaking."

"So, you've been helping John this whole time and he didn't even know?" Jessie asked, shaking her head. This was almost too much for her brain to handle.

"No Jess, I was helping _you_." Don said smiling. "After I conspired with Olivia with the janitors closet scam, I knew I'd screwed up. It was Fin you wanted, not Elliot. Ever since I'd been trying to think of a way to fix it and I saw that case on Valentine's Day as the perfect opportunity."

"But if Elliot finds out…"

"Yeah, I know, he's gonna blow his top." Don nearly laughed. He was all too familiar with Elliot's temper.

"Elliot knows. He wont admit it but in his heart he knows where your heart is." Don said. Jessie glanced up at the trees. It was now May and the trees were beautiful and full of thick green leaves. They reminded her of her farm back in Texas.

"I blew it with Fin." Jessie muttered. "I couldn't tell him how I felt when it meant the most." Don put an arm around her and they began to walk again.

"You'll have another opportunity," Don promised. "Destiny has a funny way of working. She waits till you least expect it and then suddenly opens a door and guides your feet." Jessie laughed.

"And here I thought you were a cop. Don Cragen, intellectual incognito."

"Don't tell anyone." Don winked and then smiled. It was a smile Jessie instantly recognized. A fatherly smile. She'd missed those smiles.

"Lets head back." Don said and they walked back to the car. When Jessie opened up the passenger door she thought about what Don had said. She hoped that destiny would soon open a door for her.

Fin was sitting at his desk, bored and frustrated, waiting for Jessie and the captain to come back from lunch.

Fin missed Jessie and he knew that it showed. He hated the tense silence that seemed to have consumed his work place. It was so confusing about who was talking to who that it all out pissed him off. He was tired of tiptoeing around everyone and most of all he was tired of watching Jessie from afar.

Fin knew he'd pushed Jessie away out of anger. He wanted her to love him so badly that he'd just pushed too hard… And he'd pushed her right into the arms of another man. That's why Fin had decided that staying away from Jessie would be the best thing to do.

She and Elliot seemed to be happy and he didn't want to cause any more trouble. He loved Jessie and he didn't want to hurt her anymore than he might already have.

When Jessie and Don walked into the squad room Fin stood up, trying to banish the thoughts of how beautiful Jessie looked that day. God, he thought, I miss her kiss.

"I checked out that Davis kid," Fin said to Don. They were looking at a young college kid named Jeremy Davis for a rape homicide. "He was known in his old high school for his violent temper and behavior toward the females." Fin added. Don shook his head.

"Well looks like his behavior followed him to college. You, Munch, and Jessie pick em' up and bring him in for a little chat." Don said. Jessie, Fin, and John picked up their coats and were out the door.

They were driving around the campus of Hudson University looking for Jeremy Davis, who seemed to of disappeared off the face of the earth. His roommate had informed them that they had just missed him.

Sitting in the silent car was too much for Jessie. To her, silence was almost suffocating.

"Ya'll think this guys a runner?" She asked. It had started to poor down rain right as they left the station and she didn't particularly want to get wet.

"He might be." John turned around and gave her a sympathetic look. She was always the one who had to chase the perps down. "But he's on the football team and is rumored to have a Black Belt." Jessie sighed and sat back.

"Freakin perfect." She muttered.

"Its show time." Fin said and hit the breaks. Their guy was walking down a sidewalk talking it up with some chick. Jessie jumped out of the car and flashed her badge.

"Jeremy Davis, you need to come with me please." Davis gave Jessie a panicked look and started back stepping. Jessie lunged forward but was a few inches shy of his shirt and bolted down the sidewalk.

"Go!" Jessie screamed to Fin and took off running after their perp. Fin took off with his tires squealing and throwing water all over the girl Davis had been speaking to.

Jessie ran as fast as she could after Davis. She started going through her options in her head. Davis was a big guy, as he no doubt had to be to be on a college football team. She could see that she was following him to a place Fin and John couldn't drive into. He was headed down some dingy alleyway between two buildings.

She didn't know if he had a weapon and she knew that she couldn't take a guy with a Black Belt! Jessie would just have to hope she could hold him off till the Calvary arrived.

Jessie ran into the alleyway about thirty seconds after Davis and nearly slipped on the thick mud on the ground. She looked frantically around and saw Davis had somehow disappeared. Jessie took out her cell phone and called Fin.

"I lost him." Jessie said, breathing hard.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm in this alley between the…" Jessie suddenly felt a sharp pain on the back of her head. Her phone flew out of her hand and Jessie fell to her knees, her vision blurring. She touched the back of her head and then looked at her hand. It was covered in her own blood.

She looked up and saw Davis staring down at her, brandishing a heavy looking pistol. She was staring down the barrel of a gun. I'm gonna die here in the _mud_, she thought. Jessie's life began to flash before her as she saw Davis begin to squeeze the trigger. She closed herself and let memories take her away.

She saw herself sitting on an old John Deer tractor with her father. She saw herself washing dishes with her mother. Her old friends in Texas, her old partner sitting beside her in the hospital after her rape, her first day in New York, and the first day she met the rest of her squad. Olivia, John, Don, Elliot, and Fin all flashed before her eyes.

_Fin _was her last thought.

And that's when she heard the click. The gun wasn't loaded.

Jessie jerked her eyes open in time to see Davis swing the apparent empty weapon at her, catching her on the side of the head. She flew back, her face covered in blood and her hair caked with mud. She wanted to give up. She wanted to pass out. Her body felt heavy and her head was throbbing.

Davis stood over her, grinning down at her. His smile was sick and twisted. He was enjoying seeing her in pain. He enjoyed her defeat. And that pissed her off.

Davis lifted his leg to kick her and Jessie felt adrenalin rush through her veins as anger brought her back from the edge of nothingness. There was no way she was going to let this twisted prick beat her.

She caught his foot with her leg and jerked with all of her might. She saw him land face first in the mud. She kneed him in the center of his back between his shoulder blades and put all of her weight down. She cuffed him and did her best to hold him down.

Her body began to sway. She had to close her eyes because of the blood and rain seeping into them, making them sting. Her body was weak. She'd lost too much blood. Jessie felt herself begin to fall to the ground.

Right before she hit the mud, a pair of strong arms caught her and cradled her.

"Detective Odafin Tutola. I need a bus!"

She could hear Fin's voice. She knew she was in his arms but his voice sounded so far away. She felt Fin try to wipe the blood out of her eyes.

"Jessie, just hold on baby!" She heard him say. He may have been yelling but to her it sounded like a whisper.

Jessie heard the wail of sirens. She felt herself being hoisted up.

"Jessie, baby, can you hear me! Stay with me!" Fin yelled.

"Keep her awake! We don't know what kind of head trauma she's got!" A stranger said.

"Jessie, stay with me. You've got to stay awake baby! Come on! Look at me!"

Jessie forced her eyes open. She was in the back of an ambulance. She winced as someone shined a light in her eyes.

"Jessie, baby look at me!" Fin touched her face.

"Davis?" Jessie croaked out.

"John's got him. He's on his way to the station and then he, Olivia, Elliot, and Don'll meet us at the hospital."

Jessie's eyes got heavy again. She couldn't keep them open much longer.

"No Jessie! Stay with me!" Fin yelled. Jessie looked at him with a weak smile. "Jessie please," He begged, his voice breaking. "Baby, you have to stay with me. Please don't leave me."

Jessie felt her body being pulled into darkness. Her eyes fell shut despite her effort to keep them open. And then her whole life was consumed by a emptiness so thick that sound didn't even exist. The last thing she thought she heard was Fin's voice whispering "I love you."

Fin held onto her limp hand the rest of the ride. The image of her lying in his arms, bloody and beaten, made him shiver with fear. They were both soaked from the rain, but her hair had clumps of mud and blood, and was stuck to her face.

How could I be so stupid, he thought angrily. I should have _never_ let her go after that guy alone. They couldn't tell through all of the mess exactly what had happened to her so Fin didn't even know how badly she'd been hurt or even if she would be alright.

When they arrived at the hospital Fin was told to stay in the waiting room and someone would be with him momentarily. A few minutes later Elliot, Olivia, and Don rushed into the room and assaulted Fin with a barrage of questions. The only question that registered was when Don asked where the hell John was.

"He took Davis back to the precinct and was supposed to get you guys and come here. He ain't with you?" Fin said.

"He called us. Told us what happened and said he was on his way here. He passed Davis to a uniform to bring up. We haven't seen him!" Olivia replied. Fin shook his head.

"Well where the hell is he when I need him?" Fin said angrily. Only Munch would pull a Houdini right at that moment.

John had gotten stuck in a traffic jam on his way to the hospital, which only gave him additional time to mull over his guilt of how he had partaken in royally screwing the squad. There had been so much blood on Jessie's face. John knew that head wounds bled a lot, but still…it was Jessie. And Fin! Oh God, Fin looked like he was about to have stroke when he saw Jessie so beat up! This made John feel even worse. He was part of the reason they weren't together.

By the time John got to the hospital he figured everyone would be in her room. He snuck in a back door he found open and made his way down a sterile hallway.

John didn't like hospitals. They gave him the willies. The last time he'd been in one he'd been shot in the ass. John rubbed his pants where his small scar was, remembering the pain. That'll make your butt pucker, he thought wryly.

John looked into every room he saw with the door open and was shocked to actually get lucky! He saw Jessie lying motionless in a bed, her head wrapped in a white bandage. John looked over his shoulder and saw no one else around so he let himself into her room.

John sat in a chair by her bedside, reached for her hand, and took it gently. The only sounds in the room were from Jessie's heavy breathing and the beeps of the heart monitor.

John absently wondered where the others were but figured they would join him soon enough. He noticed they washed the mud and blood out of her hair and off her body. She looked peaceful just lying there and he immediately felt a rush of guilt come over him.

He felt so guilty for hurting someone so sweet and kind. She'd been a good friend and he'd damaged that friendship, perhaps beyond prepare. He wouldn't know till she woke up and he planned on being right beside her when she did.

Elliot, Don, Olivia, and Fin all sat in the waiting room for what felt like hours, even though they knew it hadn't been that long, each lost in their own thoughts.

Elliot had gone up to the front desk a dozen times asking about a Detective Jade Harper or Jessie Harper, but he kept being told to wait until a doctor or nurse came out to see him.

Elliot sat in a chair, his head in his hands. He hadn't been that scared in a long time. Not even when he and John had been shot in court.

Olivia wanted nothing more than to comfort Elliot but she knew better. He was still angry with her, and rightfully so, and she was probably the last person in the world he wanted to speak to.

Don sat next to Fin; a hand lay comfortingly on his shoulder. Don had only known Jessie for about six months but he already felt toward her almost like he did Olivia. Like they were the daughters he'd never had. His heart ached at the thought of her in any pain.

Fin was lost in a whirl of his own thoughts. He saw flashed of her covered in her own blood, just lying there in his arms, completely helpless, while blood flowed from wounds on her head that he couldn't even see. How lifeless she'd looked in the ambulance.

Then he remembered the night that they had made love. How soft her skin was and how tender her kiss felt. How right they felt together. How _perfect_…

A grim looking nurse interrupted fin's thoughts.

"You all are here about a Jade Harper?" She asked sadly, looking down at the chart in her hands. She was a tall, robust blonde headed woman with Pirelli in gold on her nametag.

"Yes. I'm Captain Don Cragen with the NYPD. Jade is one of my detectives." Don said, taking a deep breath. They all stood up. Elliot's muscles tensed. He was so afraid…he reached out and touched Olivia's arm.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but…" Nurse Pirelli sighed heavily. She felt awful about giving out this kind of news, and especially about cops. The four people in front of her seemed very different but very close.

"I'm sorry but Ms. Harper didn't make it."

Immediately Elliot crumbled to his knees, Olivia going to the floor with him.

"_No_!" He sobbed, scorching hot tears cascading down his face. Olivia, also crying, held Elliot and rocked him back and forth.

"You can wait to identify the body." Nurse Pirelli whispered and slipped away to make her rounds. She still had a young lady asleep from medications after being knocked around a little. She was one of the lucky ones, Nurse Pirelli thought, taking one last look at the four grieving people.

Fin felt his knees buckle. He fell back, nearly missing the edge of the chair. He looked at Don, who had a few tears running slowly down his face also. Eliot and Olivia were still on the floor.

Don put an arm around Fin and pulled him into a hug, needing comfort as much as much as wanting to give it. That's when Fin's tears broke loose and his whole body began to shake uncontrollably.

Fin had seen death and experienced loss but never of this magnitude. Fin knew he had just lost his soul mate.

"I love her Don. Damnit! I love her." Fin whispered over and over, only loud enough for Don to hear.

"I know Fin." Don said, letting his own defenses down and his tears flow heavily. "I know."

**Authors Note:** Dun Dun Dun! Alright, here's another chapter! Hit me up with lots of reviews folks! Love ya'll-Ali


	16. Chapter 16 For What It's Worth

**Chapter 16 "For What It's Worth"**

Jessie felt like she was under water. She tried to force her eyes to see but she was still trapped in what seemed like a never-ending darkness. She wanted to move but her body felt like lead. She was just floating…

Suddenly, it felt like the world fell away. The water drained. Jessie was falling. Falling toward this huge orb of light. She fell for what seemed like hours. And with great force she hit the light.

Jessie blinked. She felt a warm cloth dabbing her cheeks gently.

"Sleeping Beauty has awaken." John chuckled. Jessie squinted at him.

"What happened?" Jessie asked groggily. She tried to sit up but the paralyzing pain in her head made her think that lying down was probably her best option.

"You got smacked around with the handle of a pistol." John said grimly. He folded up the washcloth and put it on her forehead. "What's the last thing you remember?" He asked.

The memories came rushing back to her. She remembered being attacked from behind in the alley and also remembered part of the ambulance ride. And Fin… she remembered Fin begging her to stay awake. Whispering that he loved her…

"Passing out in the ambulance." She said, her voice slurring in pain. The only light in the room was a dim lamp across the room. It wasn't even enough light to read from but to her, it was agonizing.

"Where is everyone?" Jessie asked. John shrugged.

"They probably got hung up somewhere. Sorry, you're stuck with me for the time being." John said wryly. Jessie laughed a weak sounding laugh.

"I thought I was gonna die John. Near death experiences tend to put everything in perspective for me. I don't feel like being mad at you and Olivia anymore." Jessie muttered. Her voice was strained and pain filled. John gave her hand a light squeeze. He was glad to have been forgiven.

A few minutes later a blonde headed nurse came through the door.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're awake, dear! I'm Nurse Pirelli!" The plump woman smiled. "Are you her father?" She asked John, which earned her an over the glasses glare.

"No," Jessie said, half giggling. "He's my best friend." John smiled and gave her hand another squeeze.

"Well, Ms. Harris, you're a very lucky young lady." Nurse Pirelli said seriously.

"Harris? My last name isn't Harris." Jessie said, raising an eyebrow at the nurse. The nurse looked at John for confirmation, as if Jessie had amnesia or something.

"Her name is Jade or Jessie Harper." John said. The nurse's face went pale and she looked as if she'd seen a ghost.

"_You're_ Jessie?" She choked.

"Yes…" Jessie said, carefully pulling herself up into a sitting position.

"But I just…you're supposed to be…oh God!" Nurse Pirelli stammered, holding on to the edge of Jessie's bed to support her. John stood up.

"What's going on?" He asked, his tone serious. It was never a good thing when hospitals made mistakes. The nurse took a deep breath.

"The charts must have been switched." Nurse Pirelli said, more to herself than to John or Jessie.

"So what does that mean?" John asked. He was about to lose his patience with this woman.

"I just told about four people you were dead." Nurse Pirelli admitted reluctantly. John whipped off his glasses and his jaw dropped.

"WHAT!" Jessie yelled and then winced as her head pulsed with pain.

"Where?" John asked with urgency. Nurse Pirelli told him which waiting room and John took off like a rocket. I've never seen him move that fast, Jessie thought absently. Then she turned a sharp glare to the nurse.

"I am so sorry dear." Nurse Pirelli said, her voice a little shaky.

"Shouldn't you go fix your mistake? Tell people who is _really_ dead?" Jessie snapped. The nurse nodded.

"Would you like anything before I…"

"Out! Get out! I swear if I wasn't hooked up to this I.V I'd…" Before Jessie could finish Nurse Pirelli mumbled something about a replacement nurse and fled out the door.

Jessie rubbed her temples.

"The madness never ends." She grumbled.

John ran as fast as his older body could carry him toward the waiting room. He knew the others were probably frantic. When he saw the four detectives, they were all sitting down, sniffling and no doubt discussing their next course of action.

"Where the hell have you been?" Fin asked, his voice laced with misery. He didn't have the energy or the will to yell.

Don stood up, a grim look on his face. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, a were the other three's.

"John…" Don started but was cut off.

"She's not dead." John said.

"John, I know its hard, but…"

"No! I just came from her room!" Elliot, Fin, and Olivia's heads jerked up from the floor and they stood up quickly.

"The charts got switched. Jessie's very much alive!" John explained. A second later the four detectives and Captain Cragen ran down the hallway toward Jessie's room.

Jessie greeted them all with a warm smile as they burst through the door light a herd of elephants. Elliot wanted nothing more than to smother her with hugs and kisses, but he knew from the look in her eyes that she was in quite a bit of pain.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead so gently that it felt like a feather to Jessie. Olivia stood on the edge of the bed, a few stray tears falling down her face. Jessie wanted to break the awkward silence.

"It's a miracle! I'm back from the dead!" Jessie laughed. Elliot smiled widely. Don stood by Olivia, smiling down at Jessie.

"It really is a miracle!" Don laughed.

"We were afraid we'd never see you again." Olivia said quietly. Elliot nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak.

"I love you Jessie. I was so scared…" Elliot finally whispered.

"Hey," Jessie said gently, reaching out and patting his hand. "I'm here now and I don't plan on goin anywhere anytime soon."

A few seconds later the replacement nurse came bouncing in. She was a bubbly bleach blonde headed young woman who Jessie had an automatic disdain for.

"Hi! I'm Wendy and I'll be your Nurse!" Wendy said in an extremely loud voice. Jessie winced and covered her ears. That's when Jessie saw Fin for the first time since her five co-workers had shown up.

He was standing in the corner, his hands buried deep in his coat pockets, looking at Jessie as if seeing her for the first time. Jessie almost cried out to him as she saw the tears that were slowly making their way down his cheeks.

"I need an Elliot Stabler to come with me. There's some paperwork you need to sign." Wendy said sweetly, giving Jessie a warm, inviting smile. Jessie frowned. Wendy was still talking too loud.

Elliot kissed Jessie's forehead.

"I'll be back soon sweetie." He said softly.

"I'll go with you." Olivia offered. Elliot nodded and the two detectives left, being lead by the giggly Wendy.

"Do you need anything? Are you thirsty?" John asked Jessie from the foot of her bed. Jessie nodded.

"We'll go find you something to drink." Don said, leading John out the door, partially closing it behind them, leaving Jessie and Fin alone.

Fin didn't move a muscle from where he stood. He didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. What do you say to the woman you love after you've turned your back on her? Found her bloody, lying in the mud? Then think she was dead? What the hell was he supposed to say?

Jessie didn't know what to say either. She'd hurt Fin as much as he'd hurt her. She didn't know how to tell him how she felt. Had she missed her chance? Or was this situation destinies way of opening another door for her and giving her one last chance to make things right?

Fin walked slowly to her and sat on the edge of her bed. Jessie saw his eyes were read and irritated and his cheeks were still wet from tears. Jessie reached shakily for his hand. Fin raised her hand to his face and kissed the palm as silent tears again escaped his eyes.

"God Jessie," He said, his voice breaking. "I thought I lost you." The emotion in his voice broke her heart.

Jessie pulled Fin into a bone crushing embrace, ignoring the intense pain in her head, and whispering words of comfort to the crying man. Fin ran his hands through her hair and kissed her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," Fin whispered over and over. Jessie pulled back until they were eyes to eye and kissed his cheeks again, kissing away all the tears.

"Me too." Jessie said. They sat in silence for a long time, just holding one another. Jessie wanted nothing more than to kiss Fin, tell him she loved him, but she knew that it would only cause more harm than good. She decided that after she got out of the hospital that she would end it with Elliot and tell him the truth.

After her second scrape with death Jessie decided she'd better fess up and face the consequences. She was finally ready to do the right thing.

"Fin, do you think its possible to love two people at the same time?" Jessie asked.

"I don't know. Is it?" Fin asked. He looked into her eyes with so much intensity that Jessie nearly gasped.

Jessie sat for a few moments, mulling this over in her mind. Yes, she loved Elliot. He was a great man. She couldn't help but love him… but it was different with Fin. She _needed_ Fin, and Jessie Jade Harper had never needed anyone else in her life.

Fin had struck a chord deep inside Jessie. He made her want for a future that six months ago she'd thought was an impossible dream. Someone she could come home to, do the dishes with, and wash clothes with. Wake up beside every morning and fall asleep every night safely in his arms. Jessie used to think that a life of adventure was all she'd ever want or need…until she met Fin.

"Yeah, I think its definitely possible." Jessie said, grinning up at Fin. Fin leaned down and kissed her cheek gently.

"Me too baby." He said. "Me too.

Little did they know that Elliot was just about to open the door when he heard Jessie ask Fin that heart wrenching question.

Elliot backed away from the door as if it were a leering monster about to attack. He stood alone outside her door, paralyzed with his shocking realizations. He was thankful Olivia had left him to go use the rest room.

Elliot sat in a chair that was pushed up against a wall, as if it had been waiting for him. He admitted to himself then that in his heard he'd always known. He'd ignored all of the red flags, even eventually dismissing the Christmas card, because he didn't want to believe that Jessie was in love with another man.

Elliot wanted to be angry but found that he couldn't be. Had it not been him sobbing in the waiting room floor only an hour ago because he thought she was dead? Elliot was just happy that she was alive!

He made a decision then. He loved Jessie but he knew they weren't meant to be together. He knew that he had to let her go.

Fin came out of Jessie's room and saw Elliot sitting in a chair, looking miserable.

"Hey, you alright man?" Fin asked.

Elliot took a deep breath and rose from his seat. He looked Fin in the eyes as if to ask a silent question, and at that second Fin knew Elliot had heard his and Jessie's conversation. Fin simply nodded. Elliot nodded also and then did something Fin didn't expect.

Fin had prepared himself to be yelled at or punched but not for what happened next. Elliot stuck out his hand to Fin.

"I know you'll take care of her." Elliot said shakily. "You're a good man Fin. I'm glad its you." Fin shook Elliot's hand firmly.

"For what its worth…I'm sorry." Fin said sincerely. Elliot just shook his head.

"Lets talk to Don, John, and Olivia. I've got an idea." Elliot said and Fin nodded.

They walked down the hallway to find their friends together, side-by-side, Elliot filling Fin in on some of Jessie's choice habits that he felt Fin should know about. The two men knew that things would be different from then on. How could things go back to normal?

Then again, for what it was worth, since Jessie had joined the squad, nothing had been quite normal, and both Fin and Elliot thanked God for that.

**Authors Note: HAHAHAHA GOTCHA! Everyone thought I was this terrible person cuz' I killed but I didn't haha! I couldn't resist. Well folks, after this chapter I believe we only have one more and then an epilogue. Keep giving me lovely reviews! Come back and see what Elliot's bright idea is. I'm sorry this chapter is short but so will the next two since we are coming to an end. Read and review folks! **


	17. Chapter 17 Welcome Home

**Chapter 17 "Welcome Home"**

For the next day and a half Jessie laid, extremely bored and restless, in her hospital bed. She didn't have to have stitches on the wound on the back of her head but did on the side of her forehead. She'd slept off her headache and so the next day she basically had nothing to do until John came to pick her up.

No one had stayed with her the night before or even called her to see how she was doing! Not even Elliot or Fin! Jessie tried to chalk it up to an extremely hectic day at the office but her gut told her something was up, especially when John went sent to get her instead of Elliot.

"Is everything alright?" Jessie asked when they climbed into Fin's car. John had to borrow it since he refused to buy one of his own.

"Yeah, why?" John asked as if nothing unusual were going on.

"Nothing," Jessie shrugged. "I guess I just expected Elliot to come get me is all." John nodded in understanding.

"He's working on a case." John said. Again, Jessie's gut told her that John wasn't being truthful but she decided to let it slide…until she realized that they weren't headed toward Queens or the office. She looked around and realized that they were in Brooklyn.

"Where the hell are we going?" Jessie asked, getting aggravated. She was quickly running out of patience and wanted to know what was going on. John just grinned.

"Home," was all he said.

Jessie shrugged her shoulders. She'd given up a long time ago on ever figuring out what the hell John meant by half the things he said. She just learned to nod her head and pretend to listen.

Jessie gave John a questioning look as they parked in front of Fin's apartment building.

"We have to pick up Fin." John said, whipping out his cell phone. He spoke in a hushed tone for a few seconds, hung up, and swung open the door. "He said to come on up." Jessie nodded and gave herself a quick look in the mirror.

She looked pretty decent for someone who just got out of the hospital. She looked really decent for someone who Fin had dragged out of the mud covered in blood.

As they knocked on the door to Fin's apartment Jessie's stomach knotted up. She wasn't sure why she was getting so nervous. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she practically confessed her love to Fin in the past twenty-four hours!

Jessie was surprised when Don answered the door and ushered the two detectives into the apartment. It took Jessie a few seconds to process her surroundings. There was a wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen. Chicken fettuccini, Jessie sniffed. My favorite!

Jessie looked around the room, trying to figure out what had changed since she'd last been in the apartment. Elliot and Olivia were sitting at a small kitchen table that Jessie immediately recognized.

"What the hell is my table doing out of storage and in Fin's kitchen?" She asked. The more she looked around the more things she noticed that were hers! The table in the kitchen and the chairs that went along with it, the coffee table, a rocking chair that belonged to her mother, and pictures in frames sitting in random places.

She walked slowly to the coffee table and shakily picked up a frame that was sitting in the middle. It was the picture John had taken of Fin and Jessie on the floor of his apartment.

"Welcome home." A voice so familiar to Jessie said from the bedroom door. Fin walked out nervously, his hands buried deep in his blue jean pockets. Jessie was speechless. The realizations seem to of just crashed down on her all at once. Fin joined the others, who had gathered into the living room. Jessie shook her head.

"Ya'll moved me into Fin's apartment?" Jessie asked bewilderedly.

"_Our_ apartment." Fin corrected her softly.

"Our apartment…" Jessie repeated flatly as if to convince herself it was true. The more she thought those words in her head the better it sounded. I'm living with Fin… "Our apartment!" Jessie said again with far more enthusiasm! She lived with Fin! The man she loved! And that was when she remembered…

"Elliot," Jessie said, giving Elliot an apologetic look. She looked down at the frame in her hand. She turned it to show him. "You know?" Elliot smiled sadly.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Fin and John filled us all in. I know about Valentines Day too." Jessie shook her head and put the frame down on the coffee table.

"Elliot… I'm so sorry." That's the only thing she could think to say. Elliot walked toward her and she him in the middle of the living room. He pulled her into a strong hug. Jessie thought she felt his heart break.

"I love you Jess." He whispered.

"I know Elliot. I know." He pulled back and smiled, fighting back tears. He had already had his own private time to cry as he packed up her clothes earlier that morning.

They all had worked nearly all night and that day to get her all moved in, including her toothbrush and toothpaste. Elliot didn't think he could take it if she'd gone back to the house. The biggest adjustment he was going to have to make was having the house empty again.

The night before he slept on Don's couch in his apartment because he couldn't take sleeping in his bed alone. Elliot shook the memories away. At that moment he could tell Jessie was happy and that was the only thing mattered.

"Friends?" Elliot asked her.

"Friends." Jessie beamed.

"Yeah, great, now that that's settled let's eat!" John said and everyone headed into the kitchen to have a hearty meal.

They all talked and laughed for about an hour before Don, Elliot, Olivia, and John decided to call it a night and let Fin and Jessie get settled in together.

"Thank ya'll! I really don't know what I'd do without ya'll." Jessie said. Don hugged her.

"You just stay away from alleys okay?" He said seriously.

"Yes sir." Jessie laughed.

Elliot didn't say much when he left. Just smiled, wish them the best, and left. No one blamed him.

Olivia hugged them both and wished them luck on their venture as roomies. John hugged Jessie and kissed her on the forehead.

"If this doesn't work out I'm next on the list of room mates." He joked.

"Oh Lord!" Jessie exclaimed. "I guess we'll just have to make it work then, huh?" John gave her an over the glasses glare but then broken into a smile.

"So John, I guess you won the bet." Olivia said in the hallway. They'd hung back and let Elliot and Don have some space. Elliot needed someone to talk to and Don seemed to be the person for the job.

"Well, I won't make you give up a whole months pay," John said as they boarded the elevator. "But how about we get all dressed up, go out to a really nice restaurant, and you pay." He winked. Olivia was a little surprised but nodded.

"That sounds like a great idea. It's a date?" Olivia smirked. John smiled.

"It's a date."

When Jessie and Fin were finally alone Jessie was more nervous than ever.

"I can't believe all of this." Jessie muttered as she started nervously picking up dishes. Fin laughed, took them out of her hands, and sat them back on the table.

"Those can wait." He said. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "Are you happy?" He asked quietly.

"Yes! Oh Lord yes Fin." Jessie said happily. "Show me the bedroom. It's the only room I ain't seen." She said. Fins nodded and lead the way, hiding the smirk on his face.

When they went into the bedroom Jessie was shocked. It was dark outside and the lights were out so the only light was from the candles that were placed around the small room. Fin had pretended to go to the bathroom earlier so he could light them. There were rose petals on the bed and on the floor. As cliché as it may sound, it was the most romantic thing a man had ever done for Jessie.

Jessie turned to Fin and he was shocked by what he saw. Tears were falling down her face and she wasn't even trying to wipe them away.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me." Jessie said sniffling. Fin moved his hands to her face and wiped away the tears.

"I thought you didn't cry." He chuckled.

"I don't." She said. "God Fin… I love you so much." She whispered. Fin couldn't believe that after six months of wanting he'd finally heard those three magical words. He couldn't stop the tears from jumping into his eyes. He blinked them all away except for one and it fell down his cheek. Jessie kissed it away.

"I love you too Jessie. I'll love you forever." Fin kissed her with all the passion he could muster and they made love as if it were the first time. And for the first time since Jessie had arrived in New York City, there in Fin's arms, she felt like she had finally come home.

**Authors Note: AWWWWW sad face everyone cry! Well folks this is the last chapter! The epilogue will be up directly after this. **


	18. Chapter 18 Epilogue

**Epilogue**

A car horn honks angrily outside and I hear shouts. Normally I would be irritated by such noise at this time of night, but laying here next to my beautiful sleeping wife, I hardly notice. She's let her hair grow out and it's spread out wildly over the pillow. She complains about it being too long but won't cut it because she knows how much I love it. I love to run my hands through it.

Jessie and I had been living together for seven months when I asked her to marry me. I will never forget that night. We were at the Christmas Eve party along with our fellow co-workers. John and Olivia celebrated their seventh month anniversary that night. Everyone was sort of surprised when the two started dating, even me. Well, everyone except Jessie. She claimed to of known it would happen all along.

Even Elliot was dating again. He'd met a quiet, small, sweet girl while buying coffee one afternoon named Kay. I was relieved when he found himself a girl. He'd loved Jessie very much and I certainly didn't want to have to worry about him anymore.

I asked for everyone's attention. "I have a little surprise." I said with a grin. John flashed me a knowing smile. He'd already agreed to be my best man. I had tried to convince him to make it a double proposal but John said that this time around he was going to do it right. He loved Olivia very much and wasn't going to go into anything half cocked. I didn't think that I was rushing into anything. I knew Jessie was the one for me. The _only_ one there would ever be.

"I actually have a surprise too!" Jessie said laughing. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Yeah, great, I'm sure yours is wonderful but Fin's going first." John said. I nodded.

My stomach felt like giant birds were flying around in it. I was about to purpose! I swear, I don't think I've ever been that nervous and yet excited at the same time. My whole body was shaking.

"Jessie, I love you." I said, letting out a shaky breath. Jessie smiled up at me.

"I love you too dear." She said giggling. Her giggle made me relax. It was such a cute sound.

"The night at the hospital when I thought you were gone… I've never felt loss like that before. I thought I'd lost my soul mate. When I saw you lying on that bed I knew I would never let you go again. I can't picture my life without you. We already share jobs, a home, and a life…"

I pulled the box out of my pocket and got down on one knee. The room was filled with a collective gasp and Jessie's eyes filled with tears. Jessie still didn't cry much so I knew I'd evoked some deep emotion.

"Jessie, baby, will you share my name? Will you marry me?" Jessie began to cry and nodded hear head yes. I stood up, put the ring on her finger, pulled her to me, and kissed her gently.

"I love you so much." She whispered.

"I love you too baby." I smiled and kissed her forehead. People clapped and started giving us congratulations but Jessie stopped them.

"Okay, now my turn!" She said. I had no idea what was coming next and I was quite curious. Jessie smiled and turned to our group of friends. "Well," She sighed. "I wanted to let ya'll know that I'm not gonna be going out on cases with ya'll for a while."

John, Elliot, Olivia, and Don all looked at each other with a questioning expression as if to as 'did you know about this?'. I looked down at her.

"What are you talkin about baby?" Jessie just smiled and took my hand. Tears filled my eyes when she put my hand on her stomach.

"Hi dad." She laughed. At first I just stood there but when the realization hit me I pulled her into a hug.

"I can't believe it!" I said. I was so happy. As everyone came up to give us their congratulations Jessie whispered in my ear, "Merry Christmas."

We were married in a small church a few months later with only our close friends from the office and some of my family. Jessie's family didn't come in from Texas. She never talks about it but I'm sure it has to do with the fact that they didn't really like the fact she was marrying someone from another race. "Screw em'," Jessie had said, but I'm sure it bothered her more than she let on.

John, of course, was my best man and Olivia was Jessie's maid of honor. Jessie looked so beautiful in her simple white dress. Of course, she complained the entire time she was in it, and changed into a pair of jeans as soon as she was able, but she still looked great.

That September our daughter Nevaeh Eve Tutuola came into our lives. Her middle name came about because her birth was announced on Christmas Eve. We'll tell her that story when she gets a little older. Two years later Nevaeh's twin brothers Jeremiah Jonathon and Nehemiah Jacob were born.

Laying here next to Jessie I find it a little hard to believe we've been married for so long. Last week we celebrated Nevaeh's ninth birthday and in January we'll celebrate J.J's and Nehemiah's eighth. This February Jessie and I will be married nine years. It may not seem like a long time but it is.

Ken loves having a little sister and little brothers. He and I have become much closer and I have Jessie to thank for that. She's always made sure he was included in family events. He's forgiven me for the past and we've actually become good friends.

Jessie's aged wonderfully. She definitely doesn't look like a thirty-six year old woman with three kids. We both still work with SVU but make it a point to be home with our children as much as possible. We don't want our children raised by a sitter and I wasn't about to make the same mistakes I made with Ken.

We try not to put ourselves in dangerous situations, but as a cop, that's often unavoidable. Jessie still has a bad habit of getting herself into sticky situations but she hasn't taken a beating like she did in that alley way again. She tries to be careful but almost finds herself punched, kicked, scratched, or have her life threatened. She was born for trouble.

Elliot married Katy the same year John married Olivia. Olivia had a daughter a few years after their marriage. John was worried about being a dad. He was scared he wasn't cut out for fatherhood but he took to it like a champ.

I love being the kids Godparent. I get to tell her funny stories about her daddy that she can use against him later. John loves being a Godparent to my kids too. My kids think its funny to call him Uncle Munch. Even Ken's gotten into it. John is always teaching my kids lessons in Judaism. My kids love telling their little friends that they are "part Jewish, part white, and part black,". We celebrate Christmas and Hanukah with the Munch family every year. Our kids love it and are all pretty close, except Sarah Anne (John and Olivia's daughter) hates being called The Munchkin.

Jessie rolls over and her eyes flutter open. She glances over at the clock on our side table.

"Are you okay sweetie?" She asks. I smile down at her.

"I'm just watching you sleep." I mutter. She giggles softly and snuggles into my chest as I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. I trace a finger along the small scar on the side of her forehead and frown.

Jessie doesn't like the fact that I still think about that terrible day at the hospital when I thought she was dead. More than once I've woken up to Jessie holding me, begging me to calm down, after a horrible nightmare. It's always the same dream. Me finding Jessie's dead, raped, and mutilated body. I always wake up in tears.

"Did you have a nightmare baby?" Jessie whispers, her voice laced with concern. I don't know how she's done it but nearly eleven years with SVU and she's never had a nightmare. She says that she saw worse when she was in gangs and that she's deal with it. It takes someone strong to deal with it the way that she does.

For no reason at all Jessie leans up and kisses me softly.

"What was that for?" I ask as she pulls away.

"Because I love you so much." She says and moves in for another kiss.

"That's all the reason I need." I murmur. And it's true. Love, her love, is all that I need. It's all I could ever ask for.

**Authors Note: THE END! Tears! Yes I know it's so sad! I enjoyed writing it so much. I just wanna say thanks to all the people who reviewed. You all made my day every time I read them! So, what does anyone have to say about a sequel? I'm not sure if it can be done but if it can be let me know! I've got another idea but haven't started writing anything. I will soon tho! Again, thank you to all who reviewed! Leave me lots of love again! Forever yours-Ali P/S I changed the rating on this story because I think its not bad enough to be M so I made it T. If anyone thinks I cshould change it back let me know. **


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